Taking a break has me really worried about my GF... Advice??

[tom_a]

Hi,

 

In the last two weeks the greastest thing in my life has slowly fallen to pieces... closely followed by me (23). I need your opinions please.

 

My GF of two years told me that she wanted to have a break, as it was exam time and she needed to concentrate as she was servely stressed and we had been arguing, causing her more stress. She is around two hundred miles from me at Uni and we only rarely see each other, so I was excited about the coming summer hoilday and didnt want any problems for then.

 

I was extremely shocked and told her that if this was gonna end up with us breaking up I wanted to do it then, rather than wait around like a wounded animal... I wanted to be put out of my misery... She told me thats not what she wanted, she just needed to get her exams out of the way. Reluctantly I agreed, as I felt a bit guilty for starting a couple pathetic 'possesive' arguments with her anyway, and I want her to do well in her exams. I told her I would leave her alone to concentrate, and although v.upset, I did.

 

However, days later she contacted me... eventually telling me that she is confused and messed up, and that she feels like she doesnt know who she is. She feels that shes scared that she hasnt had a life yet and that she is young (19). The thing is, being 200 miles away she is probably the most free 'attached' person there is... every day she can have her life, go out with friends and do what she likes, she has plenty of time on her own, without me around, to find herself...

 

This makes me think this isnt what the break is all about... Im so confused.

 

She also has said that she doesnt want to split up she just needs some space and that I am her soulmate and she does want to marry me, eventually.

 

One month ago we couldnt of been happier (apart from the silly arguments... which were silly!) and now POW! our relationship needs a lifejacket.

 

I dont know what else to do... I love the girl so much... she IS my soulmate and there isnt another like her.

 

Does it sound like she wants to break up but isnt strong enough? She swears there is no-one else... but I dont know... Ive always trusted her in the past... but then I'd never have believed that she would want to take a break from our relationship either...

Is space likely to do us any good considering the distance and time we spend apart? or do you feel there is a hidden adjender here that I'm ignoring?

[Jennyfur01]

Hmmm that's very confusing. Did you have any big fights right before she told you this?? I'm really not sure what to think of it. I wouldn't jump to conclusions though b/c it might start some bad fights that will definitely end it, however, I would have a talk with her. Tell her you're worried and ask why she suddenly dropped this on you. Try to be understanding, but also make sure you tell her how it's effecting you.

 

Good luck with it all. Relationships are tough but I wish you the best

 

-Jenny

[notherenowhere]

Hi,

 

The last post was in May and so, I don't know if there's any point in putting in this reply.

Anyways, here are my thoughts.

She initially wanted to take a break so that she could concentrate on her studies. I implied that she still wanted you two to be together. That's fine then. On the other hand if she said she wanted to take a break by breaking up, then you should worry.

 

You then implied she felt she needed to experience life or learn more about herself. That now meant she originally wanted to end it but didn't have the heart to tell you. Did u ever ask her if she knew you were the right one for her or not?