Should i?

[Bibora]

Well presently im doing a NC with my ex to see if heal myself. It's hard but i'm struggling. Well the problem is that i'm feeling completely s*** cause the way i treated her when we broke up. And now i really just want to send something saying that i really regret what i did and hope at least she would forgive that.

But should i wait a while and then say i'm sorry or do it now, even she doesn't reply back (most probably)?

[rich46]

Sometimes it may be worth doing something like that for closure or whatever, but as you have contacted her on numerous occasions already without reply, then I would suggest you just move on and retain your dignity.

 

It will feel better in the long run. Just my opinion of course.

 

Good luck,

 

Rich

[Soulfully]

Hey there, I feel your situation, and what is posted below is what i wrote to somebody else recently, and i have exactly the same thing to say to you. I´ll just add that if "enough" time has passed, then why not, and keep it simple and to the point...that is...that ur very sorry for whatever u did. But careful not to pour your heart out with feelings that may convey that you still want her back terribly or anything in that style. That's my recommendation anyways.

 

Anyways, "just do what you gotta do man. Do it if you really dont expect anything in return, not even a reply. Do it if it helps you to find peace within you, let go and start moving on with your life. Do it if you feel that by doing it you will be able to free yourself from any negative thoughts of guilt or of having said or done something that you didnt really want to or mean to (aargh for our passionate egos spur of moments).

 

And if you do do it expecting deep down that it might "help" you get back your ex, accept that anything could happen, and that you´ll be ok regardless of the outcome. In this case, if you don't receive a reply, it may anger you a bit and even feel resentful, but hey, this will help you move on right? And if you do receive a reply but its not "really" what you were hoping for, then it will also help you move on right? Sometimes it does seem that we just have to act out on those gut feelings regardless of whatever outcome it may lead to. In the end, whether it achieves what you deeply wanted it to achieve, or whether it fails, life will still go on, and you will be able to cleanse your soul, let go, and move on! So hey, just do what you gotta do... for U! And if along the way it helps her in any way, then even better"

 

Peace.

[sidhat]

Dude,

I would sugest you not to contact her on anything..just let it be if she wants to forgive you she will try to contact you..Girls is very sensitive thing in this world so let her be like that and let her think abt.. dont contact her and distrub her..

And you better dont think about it ..remmember the more you think the more it messed up.. So enjoy urself be kool, change your dressing styles,, go shopping,, travelling.. partying .. go gym.. alot of things to keep your mind away from her..

 

GOOD LUCK...

[Enn]

If you're the one who treated her badly, how is NC helping you 'heal yourself'? Did you both treat each other badly?

 

I'm just writing as someone who was with someone who was mentally abusive towards me for months yet blamed me for everything that went wrong. I'd have really appreciated an apology from him. Even now I probably would. It'd have to be a bloody good, heartfelt one, mind. He just disappeared during a row and I haven't contacted him since - nor has he tried to contact me. Six weeks on!

[Bibora]

Well... I treat her bad when we broke up cause i was so tired and angry over her.

In the last week before breaking up, she even called me "piece of s***" and was always giving me a cold look, no love in her eyes. So when it all came down to pieces i just got really upset. And having to share the house after the breaking didn't help... Yeah in the end i said bad things like how could i have care for her now that we broke up (cause she accused me not caring when we were together). Or listening/singing to songs with hate lyrics (really bad move there but i wasn't thinking straight) but then being talked in the back that i had a bad voice and stuff like that (she was chatting in msn with one of her friends) didn't help. Lots of bad stuff happened. And i did alot bad, and im regreting it. But at the same time i'm not the only one at fault here. So i really don't know if i should do it now or give time and let her cold down.

[Bibora]

Guess i'm gonna give her time to cold down. It's only over a month now, and maybe she is still to angry to accept any forgiveness from my side. Not that actually i'm expecting any contact from her side. But i'm going to give a little more time.

[toots]

Hey most of your replies are from men.women see things differently.Most women would like an apology if an ex has been mean to them.It does not mean she will reply but it may mean she feels better about herself and you...a good outcome.She may even reply,there is nothing to lose .You don't have to grovel but a friendly sincere "I'm sorry "can help heal many wounds in time.

 

toots