10 year relationship. Whats going on!

[Ifeelchanged]

Hi all!

 

Short summary of our relationship. She left me middle of december - she had problems with depression. She says a lot of them are from the relationship and getting wedding jitters along with the fact she had tons of problems with her mom and her horse of 18 years dying.

 

She did the break up super immature over a phone and was super cold. It hurt a lot but also helped me heal faster to a degree.

 

I do love this girl, and suprisingly recently she has gotten in contact. We went to a long lunch (just us 2) and have gone to a bar together with mutual friends. She says she doesn't know what she wants still but everytime we're together she's always smiling and happy. You can tell she's still in love with me as I am with her, but that she burned a lot of bridges in process of breaking up with me and is still dealing with the depression. So she wants to "take it slow".

 

We're going to a movie in next few days and I can tell my hopes are coming back for a chance of us.

 

I did have a lot of flaws and I've been working on them.. but I do know I don't want to jump back into a relationship with her or anybody until I fix them. They aren't anything major but stuff I need to work on like cooking and stuff around the house. I've set my own personal goals for weight loss and getting a new job here soon ! I've never been in this situation as most people say you should NO CONTACT for 6+ months and heal before trying again - but its hard for both of us as we both love each other a whole bunch. I could also just be nieve and picking up signs that aren't really there - but I can just feel its about to happen and want advice on how you take it from here?

 

Do you become a friend and slowly regain that bond? or do you keep your distance and go out maybe once in a while and wait till all signs are go? I'm just not sure and I don't want drama anymore - I've had enough the past month and a half! we only did no contact for a month

[mhowe]

Your story is no different than anyone else's. No contact at all for months at least or crash and burn. No one can be friends right after a break up...you are just using each other as crutches until it goes down in flames.

[kamurj]