angelfish6328 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Some of you may think that I'm being ridiculous but I thought that I should share my thoughts and see what you guys and ladies think. I am not a huge fan of weed and by that I mean I wouldn't even want to be around it or put my hands on it. That's just the way I was brought up. Now, I don't mean either that I dislike the people who uses it, it's their life they can do whatever they want to, I just can't handle it. Now, I guess this is just a tinny tiny problem but my boyfriend has promised to never touch weed again because he knows that I dislike it and he got in trouble from it. He used it almost everyday behind my back and he would only tell me that he used it once in a while (which I found out later that wasn't the case). I came home today from teaching, finding my apartment smelling like air freshener. No matter how hard he hides smoking weed from me, I can still smell it despite all the heavy dose of air freshener. Why can't he just be honest with me about it? I told him it's not a big deal to me anymore. I just don't understand why it's hard for him to flat out say it to me. Am I overreacting over nothing? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Well, he probably has a hard time believing you used to be against it but now it's no big deal to you. Does that mean tou're ok with him using weed now or not? Link to comment
angelfish6328 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 I came to a point where I don't want to care too much about it but I honestly don't like it when he uses it. I told him it's his choice and he very well knows that. I'm still not okay with it but I also talked to him about it and told him that I'm not going to tell him what to do and that I still don't like it if that make sense. Link to comment
GinNJuice Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I came to a point where I don't want to care too much about it but I honestly don't like it when he uses it. I told him it's his choice and he very well knows that. I'm still not okay with it but I also talked to him about it and told him that I'm not going to tell him what to do and that I still don't like it if that make sense. This makes no sense at all. All you did was contradict yourself several times in a row. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I think you simply have to be clear wether you are ok with this or not. You make it any more complicated than that and he, as I, will think you are not ok with it. He knows it's his choice and he knows you don't like it, but are you going to hold it against him in any way if he chooses to continue to smoke? You can't say you're ok with it and then pull the old 'but you know I don't like it and do it anyway so you must not care about me'. Link to comment
louisecar Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 It's not the smoking weed that's the probably really, it's the fact that he is lying to you that would bother me. I went out with a smoker for years and whilst I only very rarely smoked some, he would smoke it daily. I was okay with that but you are not. If he is doing it daily then it is a very big part of his life and if you can't accept that then you need to dump him. He won't change for you so don't keep thinking that he will. He will just hide the fact he is doing it and then resent you for having to hide it. It really is a big deal in relationships when two people hold completely different morals/ values. There are plenty of men who do not smoke so do yourself a favour and be with one of them. If he can lie to you about this who knows what he can lie about. Link to comment
angelfish6328 Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 You all are right! I have to make it clear to him and not contradict myself. Thanks guys! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I think that you need to be careful when it comes to daily anything - drinking, smoking, weed - it is an addiction and hiding it, hiding the frequency of use is typical of an addict. It is not just about your approval or disapproval it is about them being in denial themselves about their use and abuse of the substance. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 After he promised to never use it again, yet went on to use it in your home, why would you think you're over reacting? Link to comment
Tayla92 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I think the fact is that he's doing it behind your back and not telling the truth about it when clearly you can tell he is straight out doing it, is the problem. I think you should tell him exactly how your feeling again, you've already told him you don't like him doing it but yet he's going against that and lying about it.. So I don't think your over reacting.. I'm not sure what you should do though, because if he smokes it everyday it's likely he's quite addicted.. And it's hard to just switch off those addictions. A couple of years ago I was with a guy for 2 years, and he knew I smoked weed quite often back then but he just asked if I wouldn't do it around him or when he stayed over, so I didn't because that was the right thing to do. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 You shouldn't have continued to pursue a man who you knew smoked weed and asked him to change for you. That was the first problem. So this is exactly how I would think it would play out. You the teacher, he the naughty kid. Why not just date someone who has the same mentality as you from the get go? Link to comment
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