what is wrong with me! 4 years together, 4 months broken up, 2 months NC

[mike650]

didn't really know where to put this because i'm not sure what I want yet, so it's been 4 months since me and my EX have broken up. we were together for 4 years and i've been doing active no contact for 2 months now. I've been doing everything right in order to myself back to being "happy" again. (gym, focusing on school, more time with friends, living life more humble), and it was almost like I had forgotten about her. Randomly yesterday I went to a house party where there were a bunch of mutual friends. All they would ask me about was her. This brought back feelings that I was initially getting rid of. They were saying things like yeah I heard she went to Vegas twice (she works for an airline company - free flights) and someone pulled up her instagram and showed me..something I haven't checked since we broke up. Seeing her clubbing & raving was the weirdest thing i'd seen, how different she was now. She went from shy & conservative to dressing in next to nothing and listening to music that she would tell me she hated before. Anyway, so now I feel hopeless, although i am not going to let this pull me down as far as school and my gym work, I actually applied for the airline company that she works at...and got hired..I start in a week, but am worried because I haven't seen or talked to her in 2 months. I really want the job because I love to travel and got used to it being with her, plus it pays well, way better than any other job I applied too, I am worried that this will push any hope of getting back together with her and I don't know whether or not to contact her to give her a heads up that I will be working there so things aren't that awkward..right now, i'm at a point where I really want her back. If she were come back I would take her back in a heartbeat, but I hate living like this..I was feeling so strong and now am down where I started.. Also with Valentine's day coming up..I feel lonely and can't help but think that someone else will be holding her hand..something I really have no control over..any advice?

[Astrogirl]

You're doing nothing wrong. That's all part of breaking up, I'm afraid.

Congratulations with the job, although I hope you applied because you wanted to and not because of being near your ex.

You now have your heart ready for the next girl so don't let that chance pass.

[Twidom]

Are you sure you're not getting the jobs to get close to her again?

 

In any case, Congratulations !!