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advice please. What would you do?


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At work I have women who prefer speaking in their first language which isn’t english. I don’t have a problem with them if they are on the breaks and their speaking in their language, but when we are on the job and I’m the only one who speaks english there is one lady who deliberately cuts me out of the conversation pertaining to work or she will talk about me.At this time it is both. I know she is talking about me because a few people that know her language tell me what she’s saying. It almost seems like she is making fun of me. She is very two face loves to gossip. I don't know what to do. If I go to management how do I explain it to them without them thinking I'm being prejudist? I'm actually the same ethnicity, but my mom never taught me because she has schizoprenia.

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Well if a woman at work is saying insulting things about you to others that is workplace harassment and you should absolutely complain about it. The language she's saying it in is irrelevant - don't feel like you can't report her because you'll be doing something wrong if you do. You won't be. It's not prejudice at all.

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I don’t have a problem with them if they are on the breaks and their speaking in their language, but when we are on the job

 

You have no right to expect them to speak English, none. There's no law about it. Your expectation is unreasonable. There's such a thing as free speech.

 

there is one lady who deliberately cuts me out of the conversation pertaining to work

 

As soon as she shows up, leave.

 

As soon as she starts talking, leave.

 

She's bullying you and you're whining about it rather than standing up for yourself.

 

I know she is talking about me because a few people that know her language tell me what she’s saying. It almost seems like she is making fun of me.

 

Stop putting up with it.

 

She thinks you're a sucker and the other people who allow it are part of the problem but you're not blaming them.

 

As long as you just stand around accepting it, no one respects you.

 

If I go to management how do I explain it to them

 

I wouldn't. Management is unlikely to do anything.

 

how do I explain it to them without them thinking I'm being prejudist?

 

Stop whining about the English angle because you have no leg to stand on. You have no right to expect them to speak in English for you.

 

But you can tell management that people have told you that she talks about you in front of you (in Spanish which is why other people had to tell you).

 

I'm actually the same ethnicity

 

Management might even have thought you spoke Spanish and would have fit in.

 

but my mom never taught me because she has schizoprenia.

 

Well now you're an adult - learn.

 

Having a second language is a valuable skill and it's part of your cultural heritage.

 

You could take classes and learn.

 

Instead of whinging maybe you should see the benefit of your job - it's a free immersion environment (and Spanish is an easy language to pick up).

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In my opinion, it's a crappy thing to do to speak in a language that one person in the group can't understand if there is another language that everyone speaks and everyone understands. A really crappy, inconsiderate, rude thing to do.

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In my opinion, it's a crappy thing to do to speak in a language that one person in the group can't understand if there is another language that everyone speaks and everyone understands. A really crappy, inconsiderate, rude thing to do.

 

Yes, it is. It's not illegal, sure, but it's not nice. A lot of my friends from uni were bilingual (English and French), and I barely speak French, so it got annoying when some would start giggling and chattering on in French. I'd always wonder if they were making jokes about me, especially if I heard my name.

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It's unclear where you are located or if there is a policy in your company about speaking a particular language. Also, what language are we talking about?

 

I'm located in the U.S. and in the corporate environment I was in, it was company policy to only speak English between employees to prevent the exact circumstance that you have described.

 

The only acceptable time it was appropriate to speak anything other than English on the job was if a customer required something other than English to complete their transaction with us.

 

So, you may want to check with your company to see if there is a policy concerning languages spoken in the workplace. If English is the policy, then, you have all the right in the world to expect English to be spoken in your presence while on the job unless the other language is being used to conduct business with a non-English speaker.

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Sorry to hear that you're going through this, the woman sounds like a bully

But the fact that other people are telling you what she's saying says something, they must like you if they are reporting back to you what she's said, they probably don't like this bully either

If I were you I would actually approach a manager and tell them that this is making you uncomfortable, I think it'd be perfectly acceptable to do that as it's causing you stress on the job, you will also take your power back then and you won't feel as powerless over the whole situation

I don't see anything at all wrong with you reporting this or it's just going to make you feel bad all the time, I wish you luck with this, best wishes, Lady D x

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I'm not saying they shouldn't have a right to speak their language. Its funny how you assume its spanish when it isn't. Its tagalog. I am actually currently learning tagalog on rosetta stone for myself and family. I'm half filipino and you can't even tell so management doesn't know my ethnicity. They think I'm just white.I'm working with these women because we have the same trade.How am I suppose to stand up for myself when she isn't saying it to my face? Thats the dilemma here.Do you get the reason why I'm asking for advice? I don't care if they speak tagalog. I'm not saying its wrong. I just don't like how one particular lady talks about me and not directly to me and they don't tell me what shes saying until the next day. This just started to happened. Sure maybe I'm whinning, but I take pride in my work and I want to handle this professionally.

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Talk to her Aside, respectfully and tell her that if she as a issue with you to please respect you enough to speak with you personally about...Also because they are Filipino they may not fully understand the ways of our culture here. You are not wrong, it creates a negative work environment, but all you can do it try to express yourself but even though it may not work, as lease you stood up for yourself and who knows maybe you'll gain some friends who will help you learn more about your shared culture and Tagalog. Good luck

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Its funny how you assume its spanish when it isn't.

 

Is it really? I didn't assume I thought I read it. And before you go around making assumptions about me, I suggest you remember you know just as little about me as I know about you.

 

Its tagalog.

 

I don't really care what it is - my points are still the same.

 

I don't care if they speak tagalog. I'm not saying its wrong.

 

No but your post implied that you did - go back and read it.

 

I just don't like how one particular lady talks about me

 

And I got that from your post which is why I tried to tell you that this is the only legitimate issue and them speaking a language you don't understand is a red herring.

 

I take pride in my work and I want to handle this professionally.

 

That's not apparent from your post and I can just go on what you write.

 

But let me explain it to you again so you understand.

 

If you complain to management and the other women are told they have to speak English - what do you think will happen? The other women will dislike you when now they don't. In addition, they will think that you're a tattle tale and they won't trust you.

 

In the end, you're reacting like a kid on a playground who's upset that the other kids won't play with her. This woman who has a problem with you is a bully. You can either handle it yourself and get everyone's respect or you can run to the teacher (ie management) and hope he/she solves it for you.

 

Is that simple enough?

 

But hey go to management, it's your culture not mine, maybe that'll work out well for you.

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Toby let the hilarity ensue. Stop posting on my forum. I don't want your advice. I did not assume anything about you. Your the one assuming I'm mexican and thinking I ment spanish. Thanks for referencing me to being in elementarys school. By the way your writing me you must be a bully. Leave me alone. Your not positive your just pestimistic. Stop bashing I'm asking for help and I clearly don't need it from toby

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Toby, for gods sake - the adult thing to do when an employee is bullying you is to complain to management. Worrying about being a tattle tale and worrying the other women won't like her is the childish thing to worry about.

 

Personally - I didn't detect a hint of complaint about the fact that another language was being spoken in the OP - simply that it was being used as a bullying tool to talk about OP while she's standing right there - in a negative way.

 

Management doesn't have to ask the ladies to speak in English. They need to warn the one employee that bullying - in any language - won't be tolerated.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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Toby, for gods sake - the adult thing to do when an employee is bullying you is to complain to management. Worrying about being a tattle tale and worrying the other women won't like her is the childish thing to worry about.

 

Personally - I didn't detect a hint of complaint about the fact that another language was being spoken in the OP - simply that it was being used as a bullying tool to talk about OP while she's standing right there - in a negative way.

 

Management doesn't have to ask the ladies to speak in English. They need to warn the one employee that bullying - in any language - won't be tolerated.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

Thank you Circe for understanding. I just felt that he was just making it negative for me

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