Need womans advice please help

[Bookerd1991]

Me and my ex girlfriend who have been in a very serious relationship for 5 years since we where both very young have broken up we moved to Australia together to start a life with each over. Does anyone know what's she,s thinking. She broke up with me and told me she is sick of worrying about other people she's a and only cares about herself now she told me she fell out of love with me months ago but was scared to break up with me because she new it would destroy me in those previous months she stopped having sex with me completely she started going out with her new friends at any opportunity and paying extra care on how she looked, I also found out that she had an online relationship with someone else. In the past thew months I had changed towards her because she wasn't putting any effort into our life and relationship, things got messy when we broke up and I moved away for a while for work which is where I am now, I know that she still cares about me she where's a bracelet with our initials on it every day and has a photo of me in her bedroom, I have started no contact yesterday do you think she will get in contact with me or miss me at all or should I really just let go and get on with my life I love her to bits and never thought I would be in this position we are like best friends there's nothing we wouldn't do or talk about in front of each over we had a true connection.

[Circe]

She might change her mind and try to come back - but you really should ask yourself whether you would want her back if she's willing to do this, particularly without any kind of trigger (e.g. you becoming an alcoholic; you cheating on her; you becoming a work-a-holic) whatsoever.

 

In any event - it's time to start moving on. Trying to move on as soon as possible is always going to be in your best interest - regardless of what she does.

 

Sorry this happened to your relationship.

[Bookerd1991]

Thanks for the reply, I think it's probably partly my fault she fell out of love with me because I began being miserable towards her for extended periods of time, I became jealous when she started hanging out with her friends all the time because we had been literally joint at the hip for so long and it felt like I was being ditched, we still had our odd good days but I was foolish not to see this coming, she has changed so much since I met her from the kind of girl who was so kind loving and never new she was beautiful to a lying rude show off, I'm worried about her and her new friends and choices but I guess it isn't my problem anymore, I just prey she turns back into the girl I met and contacts me because I honestly beilieve that the connection me and her had was special we where so so close we still are now it's such a shame to let her go but I guess it's time go move on.

[HaloEffect]

I was in a similar situation. She later regretted how she treated me and what she did. However, I could never see her the same way after that. Our relationship changed similar to yours. The ditching feeling and I was stressed from my job. She made new friends at hers. Instead of seeing the change and working through it she bailed. Like another poster said that's not really the type of person I want. If she did it once she'll do it again. I moved on and she would poke back in my life ocasionally but it was too late.

 

Best thing you can do is move on. Do not chase her at all especially if you do want her back. Chasing will only make make the situation more messy. If you want her to miss you then you gotta be away from her. That was my mistake. For awhile I wanted her back but I was too pushy in trying to talk/work it out. It really pissed her off.

[Bookerd1991]

I have been acting very crazy for the past thew months it may almost seem abnormal but it's my first love and first break up, I resorted to stalking her making threats to her I honestly felt suicidal at one point I guess I just weren't ready for such a life changing event, eventually I did the right thing a moved away for work, she promised me that if I went away sorted myself out and became the happy old me we could talk about out relationship when I got back but as I got where I was going she changed and told me that we where never getting back together ever I'm not sure if that's the truth or just her way of helping me get over her, it's so strange though because she still where's the bracelet I bought her with both our inicials on it and has a photo of me up in her bedroom plus she still talks to me and rings me if we don't Speek for a couple days but says she don't want me getting the wrong idea we are never getting back together. It's just so confusing because although she has been unfaithful I know she has a good heart and is a lovely person and I would take her back, she blames the lying and cheating on rebbeling and said she just wanted to prove to herself that she could do what she wanted without me stopping her I just don't know maybe she is just angry at me at the moment I know she still cares for me a lot though

[Lady D]

I think that you should try to let it go as hard as it seems, she seems to have made her position clear...if she is still ringing you but saying that you'll never get back together, I strongly feel that for your own peace of mind, you should go no contact with this girl as she's messing a bit with your head

I think you'll find the strength to go NC by posting on here, good luck to you...Lady D X

[Ms Darcy]

If you really think she's a lying, rude, show off, then you don't need to be in a relationship with her. I personally would not want to be with someone who saw me that way.

 

On the other hand, you being miserable with her for long periods and you two smothering each other with time together probably ruined the relationship. A relationship is healthy when you a) treat each other well and b) give each other space. If you were jealous when she had friends, it may have made her feel like you were dependent on her for your happiness and killed the attraction.

 

I would take that as a lesson to focus on being more independent.

[Ms Darcy]

Oh, I just saw this. This is unacceptable. You don't have the right to stalk and threaten someone just because it's your first break up. And you are surprised she left you? It sounds like if she was unfaithful that this relationship was unhealthy and you both need to grow up. I suggest that you get into therapy.

[Bookerd1991]

Thanks for all the advice there is not a day that goes by that I don't regret how I acted through the breakup and there's no excuses at all but it's done now I've apologised and things are better for me mentally I am starting to get on with life and be independent I just think the grass is greener has a lot to do with this because her new friends and life seem more attractive, who knows but I'm sorry for how I acted and am ready to finally follow through with no contact maybe not for the right reasons but there's only two outcomes and I have to achieve one of them however long it takes

[Bookerd1991]

Bottom line is if I hadn't taken her for granted and treated her better this would never have happened maybe she deserves better and I deserve a lesson in life on how to treat women and I think this maybe for the best but I would take her back and I would change my ways, but no more begging or contact whatsoever it's exciting to see what the future holds