hes making me feel awful

[catgirl82]

is this normal? my boyfriend and i have been REALLY rocky for the past few months. finally last week, he broke up with me (for the zilionth time) and for once, i accepted it and didnt fight back. after realizing how miserable ive been for the past few months, i knew the right thing to do was to let this relationship go. we didnt tlak for a week, and now he keeps contacting me. he doesnt realize how i could want this to end. its breaking my heart. hes telling me that this is the absolute worst day of his life and how i was the only thing worth living for and now he doenst know what to do blah blah blha. almost making me feel like if i didnt get back together with him he would kill himself. i am so worried. he is the type of guy who is always torturing himself emotionally. i KNOW how awful he must feel right now. i feel so bad about how much he's hurting. i know that i shouldnt care, that hes hurt me and i should worry about myself, blah blah. anyway, i feel so guilty and so scared and worried and upset at how he feels over this. i honestly am happy with the decision and i am not planning on getting back together with him. he cant imagine how i'm ok with this and he's not. i dont know. any thoughts on this?

[MyNinja]

you are doing the right thing by not getting back with him...I'm getting a feeling that you ex has some kind of problem with himself (emotionally, confidence?) and he thinks he will get his strength from you when he needs it and when he doesn't he ditches you.

 

Don't put up with this behavior and don't fall into his traps of getting you back. Just tell him to move on with his life as you move on with your becuse obviously the relationship isn't working as you've broken up with him for the 'zillionth" time. if he continues to bother you I suggest you take some serious action because his type usually resorts to violence and threats...all in all just do what your instinct tells you, believe me you will know wht is right when you really think about it..good luck

[Heretic]

This is just a guilt trip.

 

He wants you to feel bad because he feels mad. It's very sadistic and you shouldn't feel sorry. He isn't telling you this because he cares about you, he's telling you to get back at you.

 

He's trying to break you down, make you feel worse so he can get you back. Don't fall for it. Tell him you're sorry but this is what's best and that's that. Tell him it's happened too many times before and this time it's final.

 

If you're conserned that he's suicidal, talk to his parents, friends, anyone. Try not to get involved. He's not healthy for you right now. Give him time and space. Lots of both.

 

I hope this helps.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

I agree with Heretic in many points of views. If he is purposely making u feel guilty abt it, then u got to think in wat ways u had done so, and if this breakup is a wise one. I think u got to to be very strong in what u had done previously and this is a good TEST!.

Whether if maintaining contact is a good thing, that depends on whether u are that strong enough to reply him of HEY THIS IS RIGHT OF ME TO BREAK UP WITH U, then tell him yes this is my final straw with u already, and i had enough, thats the reason why i wanted to break up with u, last time n now!

I dun know whats wrong with him thou, if his hatred towards u is so strong, could it be that u have seriously really done something wrong? I dun believe in calling his family and making things worse or more embarrass for him, if thats ur intention, or would he perceive that way, i dun know. But i agree on one thing NC! unless u can really handle him gently but yet firmly.

 

I believe breakup is the actions of two parties. please self reflect as well.

 

Thanks for reading..