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I feel nervous when chatting with women.


peter

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Hi,

 

uh, I tried to make some friends or perhaps find some nice girl via chat forums but the problem is that I feel terribly nervous when I talk to girl via skype. There are 2 problems:

 

a) I don`t see her face, don`t see her reaction and therefore I don`t know what she thinks. With face to face contact I don`t have this problem.

b) uh... I used to "know" what to say because I used to be terrible douche. It never worked so I feel now nervous about my previous experience and really don`t know what I am doing good or wrong or Idontknow.

 

The problem is I don`t enjoy chatting at all. What to do?

 

thanks.

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Listen to some music to relax yourself... maybe have a drink to chill out more and then talk to whomever like you are a old friend, you don't get hung up with being nervous if you feel you are on the same level as someone. I never liked talking to people on webcams because quality is bad, it freezes and you become self conscious. Just regular chat with out cams or meet up in person.

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Kitten: I have the same feelings with chatting as you have with camera. But on camera it`s ok. Thanks for tip, yes, it might work. the only problem with drinking is it was noon and I am not Irish Also I have no possibilities to meet women if flesh, otherwise I would just invite her somewhere. But she is from land far far away.

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Kitten: I have the same feelings with chatting as you have with camera. But on camera it`s ok. Thanks for tip, yes, it might work. the only problem with drinking is it was noon and I am not Irish Also I have no possibilities to meet women if flesh, otherwise I would just invite her somewhere. But she is from land far far away.

 

I think the more you remind yourself everyone is basically the same way with worries fears and things that embarrass each other you find a common ground and the nervousness goes. I always like to hear about peoples childhoods... what they were like, I find I connect better when I understand someone more. Nervousness comes from wanting to be liked and accepted..that is a normal feeling we all have that in us. Lol at drinking at noon...I've had a glass of white wine at 10am before. That is too bad that you cannot meet the one you like because she is too far away but the more you talk the easier it will become... does she put you at ease? You probably like her A LOT and scared you'll say something wrong and mess it up? Just be yourself if you say something wrong just apologize right away.. nobody is perfect.

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Thanks, yes, I know we all fear of rejection. I like her but so far I didn`t see her it`s just I feel uncomfortable talking to anonymous women in general. For example I has session with my coach, she is very pretty and I do kinda like her but we at least phoned so I felt much more... in control of situation. You know, knowledge is power. So thinking about that maybe I should try to get her on phone or camera as soon as possible. Also, she is a little timid or stern, I don`t know and she is from South Africa. I don`t know much about their culture so I am very conscious on how I approach them (in general). I don`t wish to upset her with my clumsy European behaviour

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So I had first skype call with that girl. She is very nice, smart and intelligent but gosh, this was the biggest disaster I have ever had on a "date" : I did not speak French for years and she insisted to practice with me. She is almost French native. I almost passed out from that stress.

 

Also it seems that South African Arabs are very (very) polite or I would rather say formal when talk to us, (glorious) Europeans. And I sot so much. They must think I am terrible crank

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