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I just cannot understand this mentality.


Aloeruss

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I am really feeling down this moment.

I had a very long day and I put a lot of hours. I work for my self, so it's my work.

My wife was stressing out about us being able to make a rent this month. I came home after I just made two month rent! I showed to my wife and told her we are ok.

 

She immediately went into an engry escapade that she cannot stand when I do not do the dishes and how she does them all the time and that I have to do them and also clean up after my self after I finish eating!

 

Now, I know that I am going to hear how she might of had a hard day, something happen at her work, or other things, but don't you think I deserve "Great" or "Thank you" or a "Good Job" for taking care and making so much money at work that we don't have to worry for a few month. What am I missing?

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She's stressed, clearly. That doesn't make it acceptable.

 

If you're both working similar workloads then you should be doing your share of the domestic tasks. Whether or not that's the case I don't know.

 

Do you guys generally communicate? Do you feel as though you're two partners working together toward a common goal, helping each other, or does it feel adversarial at times?

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effective communication.

 

You short circuited her rant and she wasn't done b*+ching, so she tacked around and took a different path towards you.

 

You can't do the dishes if you aren't home. When you are home, you need to pitch in more around the house. If you lived by yourself, you'd have to do the dishes or have a bunch of rodents and roaches to contend with.

 

What you need to do is to rob her of her reason to complain at you, which means as tired as you are, an extra 25 minutes before you settle down in the comfy chair doing housework while you're still up on your feet is something you need to do when you come through the door at home

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Its 2014 man. Buy your wife a dishwasher. I HATE washing dishes. I had to do it for a whole year and its so bloody annoying. You eventually start to dread guests coming around coz you know your gonna have to wash more cups/plates again for the 4th freaking time today when there gone.

 

Seriously me and my bf argued regularly over chores when I had to constantly wash dishes. Then fell behind on laundry and other chores, stopped enjoying cooking..

 

When we moved to a new house, I didn't complain for a whole year coz I never had to wash one dish with the best thing ever invented A DIShWASHER! BOOM

 

Its exhausting if shes at work all day and then has to wash a load of dishes after cooking dinner-then start the laundry. God I know how she feels.

 

A dishwasher will be the best investment you ever made. May even fit in more time for romance since shes not crying over the kitchen sink no more and secretly cursing you for not helping more

 

And if your both working then you should be making an effort to help out. Do you ever cook dinner for her? Do the washing? Clean the bathroom?

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Make a list of what chores you will do on what days and what chores she will do on alternating days. Then take it to her and discuss if she's okay with the days you planned or would she like to change of what chores she does and when. Then BOTH of you stick to your responsibilities without the petty bickering.

 

If she's a stay at home wife/mother then she should be doing the dishes everyday because its her job. If you both work then it's not fair that she always does everything.

 

Rather then be resentful with one another, think of ways to resolve. Yes she was being a cow by not giving you accolades when they are deserved but that's what happens when resentment is left to fester. When you have your Chore List chat, you can easily tell her that criticism is a lot less stinging if when good is done it is phrased. Balance, Ying Yang, serenity now.

 

Here's a link on *I* words rather then using "You" words when trying to communicate to one another. Hope it helps.

 

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Have you felt like you've just help a strange man to fix a relationship?.. Well, you should. . I was expecting to see "poor me" messages, but they would make my situation worst.

Now, after what I saw, it will make the situation better.

 

Thank you.

All this was enormous help

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