How to take revenge on ex?

[poloplayer]

Hi bud,

 

what will make her feel the worse (in time) is to kill her with kindness.

 

This is so powerful because nobody expects it. Think about it. She knows she did you wrong, and she can care less. You, however, are filled with spite and malice at the moment, and it is only devouring you, no matter how justified it may be for you.

 

Take some time to grieve. Yell, scream, whatever it takes to release some initial anger, then, the ONLY way you can get over it is from within. You have to admit defeat.

 

I've been wronged in the past as well. I was taunted, laughed at, and abandoned by someone who supposedly wanted to be with me forever at one of the lowest points in my life. Oohhh!! How justified I was to hate, and hate I did to the point where I was damaging my life - poor judgment, carelessness, bad decisions, etc. There came a time where I was smart enough to realize that I am only hurting myself, and I have to let go if I was ever going to move on with my life, my dreams, and my happiness. I can't carry this junk with me forever - what a miserable way to live!

 

We all do it in our own way, but I worked on letting it go. Oddly enough, I ran into her a couple of times later in life and was very happy - not to see her, but happy with myself and with life. Boy was she puzzled - puzzled to the point of complete confusion, and...curiosity. Why is he so happy? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I know not to go back there, but, it does not mean that I can't be civil or even friendly, and a happy individual is ALWAYS attractive, especially to someone who has history with you.

 

That my friend, is the best form of revenge, and, what's great about it, is that it is not revenge. You are doing this for yourself. The confusion, curiosity, or renewed interest which filled my former flame was only a byproduct of the actions I took for myself. The wheels in her head began to turn, but I did not want to go back not because of malice, spite, or interest on my part, but because I have moved on and was happy with myself and with my life. She was nothing more than an old acquiantence whom I said hello to with a smile on my face and went about my business. People will always want to know what is going on with you and your life when you are doing great and are happy, especially someone who shared a piece of it with you in the past.

 

Feel free to use her as a motivator to get started - to one day get back at her with how great you and your life will be. Then it'll come a time where she is not the impetus. She's really nothing. You'll realize that you are doing this for yourself and your well-being. There are plenty of people on this planet who walk around with a chip on their shoulder. They retain their grudges from a distant past. It's really a sad way to live life, regardless if you were burned.

 

It's very simple, but not easy. Take some time off, and hopefully you will come around.

 

Take care.

[A_Friend]

Hi Poloplayer,

 

Nice post ...This is something which can be really tried I was smiling all the way while reading your post .

 

I guess I would be able to do it once my anger settles down and I would try be happy in front of her in real sense by having someone faithful in my life....I am sure this will work then.

 

Take care

[KoopaTroopa]

I recently got out of a relationship that broke up in part because a vindictive third party who felt I had "wronged" her decided she had some sort of divine right to try and mess things up as revenge on me. As far as I'm concerned, it's simply inexcusable to destroy other people's relationships because of personal vendettas - seriously, don't do it. Granted, I'm likely just biased because I was on the receiving end of a "breaking them up for revenge" scenario, but IMHO it is a low road to take, a cruel thing to do, and there are nearly always innocent bystanders who get hurt in the process, regardless of how deserving you feel your actual target might be.

 

If one or both people involved in the relationship is a jerk (cheater, whatever), it will come back to bite them soon enough. One thing I've found out the hard way - some people are just pieces of scum, but the best revenge of all is knowing that they have to go through life being scum and that they'll constantly be getting spanked by karma. It's also good revenge to let a jerk see with their own eyes that you are happy and successful without their garbage in your life. Want revenge on your cheating ex? Be fabulous, so when she messes up THIS relationship too (and if she's a serial scumbag, she will) you'll be happily gone from her life and way the hell out of her league if she tries to come crawling back.

 

Actively taking revenge on a jerk shows the jerk that they're worth your time, and lets the jerk know they hurt you. Jerks don't deserve the satisfaction of knowing either.

 

...and that concludes my drunken soapbox rant for the evening.

[babygirl1]

Why do people ALWAYS seem to go on and on about being the bigger better person when someone mention revenge? huh....Are judges in the supreme court NOT mature? From ancient history revenge have been a part of ALL societal function, utilized among the classiest people one can ever imagine. Are you saying it's OK for persons to wrong others and go on as if nothing happened? Why don't we just open ALL the prison doors around the world since revenge is so wrong?....Let me tell you one thing, emotional WOUNDING outweigh any physical pain that any criminal could have inflicted on their victim that cause them to be behind bars today, yet Majority of people underestimate emotional damage that's been inflicted on someone. REVENGE is a mature act, there's NOTHING coward about it, neither does it lack integrity. Part of the pain one feels after they've been hurt is the fact that they were unable to avenge the situation by carrying out whatever act they feel would ease their pain. Society is made up of mostly hypocrites!!! Revenge is wrong for weak minded people only.

[babygirl1]

Not everyone believe in Karma! There are some people who believe in realism. The one thing that is real is that we only know for sure what is concrete and solidly proven. Waiting around hoping for Karma or some divine intervention or that someone else will hurt that person the way they hurt you is pointless. ALL is fair in love and war. Innocent people will get hurt in the process, ...as long as the intended target got what he/she deserve it shouldn't matter how that affect their new partner etc. Jerk NEED to know they have offended or hurt someone, but better yet, they need to feel some kind of pain or humiliation to see what it feels like if the shoe was on the other foot.

 

You probably got what you earned and you know it

[babygirl1]

You have some interesting points, but do remember that if someone treated you badly and left you, whether or not you put on a smile or your life has improved by a 1000 folds, it makes no difference to them----it only makes "YOU" feel better because you know how far you've come to make it to that point where you can see them and smile etc. It's more so your perception of self and the situation that's making you feel as though you've impacted them either way.

[babygirl1]

Why would you want to seek revenge on her new guy??????????????? For the life of me that is senseless. The person who wronged you is the person who made a promise to you and it was NOT that guy. Stop the diversion and face what really happened.

[babygirl1]

what will make her feel the worse (in time) is to kill her with kindness.

 

i never cheated but i did act wrongly once. i was seeing a girl and kinda transitioned to another girl. i never actually cheated, but still, what i did was wrong. i hurt the first girl really badly. at first i didnt care to much, i was being selfish and looking after number 1. i was going through a bunch of stuff and i shouldnt have been that way.

 

but anyways...the girl kept being nice to me etc..and after a lil bit i felt really badly. i called her and apologized to her a bunch of times cause i felt sorry for what i did. if she had gotten her revenge on me...i could have just lived the rest of my life not giving a ___ bout her.

 

So after what you had already done, do you think it truly matters whether or not you spent the rest of your life not giving a fu.. about her?...You already showed that you didn't. PLEASE!

[babygirl1]

Hi janaka,

 

My story exactly matches with yours ,the only difference is that I am moving to a foreign country in March and I have got 2 more months to take a revenge but the more torturing thing is that I see her going out with this guy everyday and can't do anything in open or directly against anybody..

 

I would strongly recomend you to take on revenge so that you don't have sleepless nights & she doesn't repeat the same with someone else in future ..

 

I can suggest you couple of ways to take revenge ,just give me an idea about her nature of work and let me know if this guy is just a sub ordinate of your ex or he is her superior/boss etc ...

 

Your Friend

 

I like your honesty in your thoughts and feelings. In this country people make you feel awful about taking revenge when "revenge" is going on EVERYWHERE around us, especially in our legal system. Thanks for not making this guy feel like he was abnormal for feeling the way he feels. It puzzles me as to why people don't just break up with someone they no longer want to be with and THEN go find someone else, instead of LYING & CHEATING with such ease.

[hers]

this thread is 4 years old....

[babygirl1]

I also believe in good and bad karma but what to do with a person who is intentionally cheating on you and using you for some cheap gains .

 

There is a difference between breaking up with mutual understanding and cheating on someone with whom you might be planning to get married ...

 

Why one person should suffer , have sleepless nights, go to councellors and live in constant anxiety and the other person cheats on him/her thinking that he/she is smart and can play with the emotions/feelings of the person who cares for her/him.

 

I feel revenge is the only way if your really want to live peacefully ....

 

I AGREE 100% .....Why do they have the right to eat, sleep, drink, laugh and be happy while they've intentionally made someone else life a living HELL? I have watched my sister go through one of the worst heart break and betrayal which landed her in a mental institution and I REFUSE to EVER let anyone violate me like that and just be at ease, only the thought of prison would stop me from taking it to the extreme and if I wasn't a mother, NOT even prison could deter me, I would feel vindicated even behind bars and this I know from my inner core. I worry not about Karma or God because I no longer believe in either. I do not believe there is a God who cares about human suffering, he sits by and watch you "if he exist".....allow these evil beings to enter your life and toy with you to see how much you can sustain.

[babygirl1]

this thread is 4 years old....

 

lol....I could have sworn it popped up with a current date when I first signed in!!! thanks for the update.....guess it was my browser, but that was WEIRD!

[Belgian girl]

Still I think I prefer a kind of revenge. I mean, I don't let mess with me in such a way. The problem and hurt should end at the place of the person who caused it.

[BellaStranger]

How funny that this thread has been revived on the day I exacted my little piece of revenge!! MY ex has been having mad parties at our flat EVERY weekend since I moved out... so today I put a note through everyone's letterbox telling them if they have a problem with the noise coming from number * they could ring environmental health on (insert number here) and make an anonymous compliaint!

[Belgian girl]

Something like that isn't a big enough revenge for me.