Nearly 31 and still living at home. Is that a turn off to potential dates?

[Moontiger]

Just be prepared for them to jump ship when they find out you have kept this information from them. Most ppl in your age range are looking for long term relationships, if that's not what you want (totally fine) open an adultfriendfinder account.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using link removed

[Ms Darcy]

Look I said I was just looking to date some people and have some fun, I'M NOT LOOKING TO GET MARRIED. I just want to meet new people and have some fun and if I get serious with someone so be it. My health is improving all the time which is great for my self confidence and self image. I think I deserve to go at least try and date, why should I be stuck at home all the time wondering what if... I'm not stuck in a wheelchair and I don't look like a troll who lives under a bridge.

 

For whoever you date, you should make it clear that you are not looking to get married. That is need to know information for people who are looking for that. And don't say "you wouldn't be opposed to it."

[kompakt]

Just be prepared for them to jump ship when they find out you have kept this information from them. Most ppl in your age range are looking for long term relationships, if that's not what you want (totally fine) open an adultfriendfinder account.

 

Well if they run so be it, but I'm not telling them my life story on the first few dates. And adultfriendfinder pleeeeease, I'm not that much of a desperate weirdo.

 

For whoever you date, you should make it clear that you are not looking to get married. That is need to know information for people who are looking for that. And don't say "you wouldn't be opposed to it."

 

Well I'm not opposed to marriage, I'm just not ready for it, or that much into the idea of it so I don't see any problems. But then I haven't met the right person so who know's. Besides you all think I'm going to date all those desperate over 30's females who want a ring on their finger and to start a family, I'm not interested in them. And wouldn't be interested in me either so I don't see why people keep bringing it up. I just want to date, I have good future prospects and good inner and outer qualities but just at the moment things are hard.

[Ms Darcy]

Well I'm not opposed to marriage, I'm just not ready for it, or that much into the idea of it so I don't see any problems. But then I haven't met the right person so who know's. Besides you all think I'm going to date all those desperate over 30's females who want a ring on their finger and to start a family, I'm not interested in them. And wouldn't be interested in me either so I don't see why people keep bringing it up. I just want to date, I have good future prospects and good inner and outer qualities but just at the moment things are hard.

 

I told you not to say you are "not opposed to marriage"! Lol. That confirms for me that you are pretty non-comiittal on the subject. And trust me, non-committal guys don't get married without a fair amount of pressure over a period of time from their girlfriends - which kinda sucks.

 

And it is very telling for you to call women in their thirties who would want marriage in a few years "desperate." No, it's not desperate to have a plan for your future. You just don't in the family sense.

 

There are women in their 20s who have a similar plan in their future for marriage and children, so no matter who you ate you shoul be honest and say you are not looking to get married. The goal is independent of meeting the right person. For example, you could really want a dream job. If you are actually ready for it, you will look for that job and be more proactive. If you are only interested in theory, you will just kinda go on interviews if people call you and then perk up if one of the interviews makes you realize that job is your dream job.

 

Just recognize that the whole non-committal "maybe I will consider it if I happen to meet the right person (whatever the 'right person' means, which I don't really even know because I need to date around to see) is exactly the kind of man I have never wanted to date. Not even in my early 20s. So, the more information you give women, the better choices they can make.

[Rosti87]

I guess I'm in the 'middle' of the positions on this thread. From a female perspective, I feel as long as he discloses the basics (I want to have a good time, I live at home), I think that would suffice to make a decision. I don't feel he has to tell everything. I still think that some 20 somethings are not looking that far into finding a long term mate like 30 somethings so I don't see where there will be much of a problem there. I think there might be a bit of cultural difference here as well. I was married to a European and their mindset around privacy and disclosing is a bit different from Americans.

 

Based on the OP's writing and descriptions of benefits its sounds like he lives in Europe. Europeans as a rule don't cite chapter and verse about their peronsal lives upon initial meeting of people. We have to keep that in mind and keep that within context.

[kompakt]

Look at it like this. If a women brought up marriage and children on the first/second date or a man brought the subject up for that matter. Wouldn't you go running for the hills? I understand what your saying I really do but I think it's unfair.

 

I said I'm not opposed to marriage, why is that such a bad thing? And I do want kids someday, but that day is good 5 years off due my plans. I have set very high standard in my long term goals that I will achieve, I am very ambitious and I know I will get there.

[Ms Darcy]

Look at it like this. If a women brought up marriage and children on the first/second date or a man brought the subject up for that matter. Wouldn't you go running for the hills? I understand what your saying I really do but I think it's unfair.

 

I said I'm not opposed to marriage, why is that such a bad thing? And I do want kids someday, but that day is good 5 years off due my plans. I have set very high standard in my long term goals that I will achieve, I am very ambitious and I know I will get there.

 

I brought up marriage and children on the third date. Depends on how you say things.

 

What are your plans in the next five years outside of graduating?

 

Are you where you planned to be five years ago?

[mhowe]

Four more years of school...health problems....living on disability income and living with parents. I don't think you need to worry about anyone bringing up marriage.

[chr8st8na]

Completely agree... I dont think you need to tell everything but if you know they are starting to like you more, I think you should be honest about where your source of income so they know that if they continue dating you, they can't expect much.

 

Most 20 year olds are just looking at casual dating any way and lots of women in their late 20s too... think it has a lot to do with our era - the Millenials having so much freedom and narcissism. I say early 30s to late is where you might find a lot of potential dates rejecting you.

 

Please experiment and let us know the results

[kompakt]

I brought up marriage and children on the third date. Depends on how you say things.

 

What are your plans in the next five years outside of graduating?

 

Are you where you planned to be five years ago?

 

Ms Darcy are you auditioning to be my therapist or my girlfriend? I can't decide which one

 

I'll answer the second question first. What do you think Ms Darcy Off course I'm not bloody happy right now, and off course I'm not where I planned to be 5 years ago. I hate living at home and never in a million years did I think I would get the serious health issues I did, so no I am not where I planned to be 5 years ago duuuuur.

 

Second question: I will open up my own business/consulting firm which will make me very wealthy. I know this will happen, I am very ambitious, and because I've already started building links with in the industry. I also plan to travel the world again (I've travelled a lot mind you already) which my career will let me do. I also plan to get a masters degree as well. Sell my apartment and buy a very nice house. Have a very good looking girlfriend who is nice and maybe a couple of dogs to walk on my time off.

 

Is that too much to ask? I know what I want and I will get it I believe in due time.

 

I think you should be honest about where your source of income so they know that if they continue dating you, they can't expect much.

 

You see I don't think they need to know, and I can afford a dinner, movies and flowers. It's not like I am targeting gold diggers