vaw6 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I'm having a tough day. Obsessing about my ex. Using all of my strength to not contact. It's been 12 days so it's super fresh and I pretty much lived at his place. I just wonder if he even cares. I'm sitting here crying so he wins. Sent from my iPad using link removed Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 He isn't winning....you are throwing the game. You need to change your focus. And only you can do that. Link to comment
Selflove1 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 It's not a competition. The fact that you think he's winning just because your crying says to me that you see yourself as a strong person and feel that crying is weak, and I get that. I've felt it. It's not week, it's the process you gotta go through, focus on you. Become better and not bitter. Cry scream mope some days are better than others, don't bottle up, let it all out, so when you get to that day when u look back and can say, "I made it" Link to comment
zentoCC Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 He isn't winning. You're allowed to grieve for the relationship he probably is as well just in a different way to you. This isn't a game where you win or lose. This is life where you experience a break up, heal and move on. As long as you don't contact him you'll find yourself crying less and less until you don't need to any more. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Winning isn't about you having your way, even if it will lead to further destruction. Winning is refocusing on yourself. If someone doesn't want to be with you, then accepting that and not groveling and begging them to take you back is "winning". Link to comment
vaw6 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Share Posted January 12, 2014 True. I'm still no contact so I would never let him know I was crying. Sent from my iPad using link removed Link to comment
toby4 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 There definitely doesn't have to be one winner in a breakup, you deserve someone who likes you for you and you just need to remember that. If you work on yourself and see what you can change so that this never happens again to you then you can go on as a better version of yourself, meaning you "win". If he does the same and betters himself to find the girl he wants then he also "wins", but remember this you choose whether or not to "win" or "lose" Link to comment
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