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can't get over that ex is choosing not to be with me anymore


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It can be hard to wrap your head around. Especially in the first few months after a break up when you have been unable or unwilling to cut contact completely. Basically had the same thing happen to myself. Ring shopping planned, constant talk of having a child, buying a house etc etc all the good stuff that comes from a progressing relationship. I also had the same words said to me repeatedly.

 

If you haven't done anything wrong, then why chuck it away? Why not work on the relationship instead of choosing to head off in another direction? Why doesn't Ex see the value of what has already been achieved and what you could both achieve in the future, together?

 

These are some of the questions that cycled through my mind constantly. Heck, they still pop up from time to time, and I am heading towards the 1 year mark. And these questions gnaw at your sanity if you dont address them.

 

Two tips that were given to me that may(?) help you sit back, contemplate, and bring some focus back onto the here and now :

 

1. Stop thinking about yourself as part of a couple. A pair. That is where your mind gets stuck. You were, are, and always will be an individual(I forgot that last bit almost completely in my last relationship dues to circumstances).

 

2. People change. Gradually, snails pace, super speedy spurts... no set direction, but they always do. Day to day, month to month and year to year. And guess what? You yourself change too in the same manner.

 

Allow your brain to chew on that for a while.. and a free hug for a rough day

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