Husband wants a divorce. im devestated

[redrose85]

^

He's not ready to be married and he knows it. I know it's hard, but cut him loose. You'll be better for it.

[Lester]

I/we understand your pain… but:

He's doing you the favor of a lifetime! (Spend some time reading here on Enotalone)

 

Happily agree to all his requests and then stop all communication with him. Begin your new life!

If a cheater… within two weeks or less he'll call/txt you.

 

What to say when he does:

Personally thank him for the timely, understanding release of his vows he made to you and then stop talking!

 

Don't be surprised what happens next!

[PetiteGirl]

he says he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it with no one to answer to.

 

I saw a 6 year old kid saying something similar today while stomping his little feet.

 

The problem with some men is that they may mature physically but their emotional maturity and life experience is rather elementary due to low priorities in developing relationship and interpersonal communication skills.

 

This marriage could been solved through relationship coaching and communication skills. If you guys really do go through divorce, your husband will still repeat the same pattern with his next relationship. The "my way only" attitude has no place in a relationship. For now, cut contact with him and give yourself the time to calm down.

[megnorman]

so today i talked to him and we were both very nice to eachother. he told me all of the tings he misses about me and that he still loves me and still wants to keep some kind of relationship with me. and he told me that when i get the seperation papers to make sure i read the part about reconciliation of the relationship. pretty much he was saying we might not get divorced. but then when i got home i recieved the papers in the mail and read them. i called him to talk about it and he was with his dad and brother. and on this phone call he told me that he still wants a divorce and that he never said any different. and was just being aggressive about it. and when we were getting off the phone he refused to tell me he loved me in front of his dad and brother.but yet he told me earlier how much he loved me still. and he said that he didnt want to confuse his family. that we should just let all the anger about the seperation calm down and then we should talk..agghhhhhhhhh hes confusing the hell out of me !!!

[Lester]

There's somebody else... sorry.

[clueless11]

It does kind of sound like theres something weird going on.

[DieTeufelKatze]

Yeah, hate to say it, but it does sound like there's someone else. My marriage ended in a similar fashion, only it turned out after two weeks of bizarre behavior, his request for a divorce (via a NOTE he left at our house), etc., that he'd been having an affair with a married acquaintance of mine. We were married less than two years. His sudden, selfish "I want what I want, when I want it" attitude shift I noticed at the end of our marriage sounds eerily a lot like the attitude change coming from yours. I'm so very sorry. BUT, I can tell you 8 months post seperation/divorce, you are better off without him. I am happier now than I've ever been, living the life I want with an awesome bf who rocks my world. Hang in there.

[Mesemene]

well your correct the last two months is the first time weve been together every day and night. although we have lived toghether 6 months before we got married and i would leave for two or three weeks here and there. it just doesn't make sense we've had so many good times and love eachother and i can tell he still loves me but its like hes fighting something inside of himself. i always thought that marriage meant working things and and learning to grow together and forgivness. it just makes me so very sad. i love this man with all of my heart. i cant imagine my life without him. i dont think its worth divorce just because we were arguing.

 

It sounds like you basically had a LDR due to the demands of military life.

 

He doesn't want a full time, at home partner. He's not ready to be married in the true sense of the word. It was great when it was weekends here and there, maybe a couple weeks when you or he weren't deployed and could have a "honeymoon," but for him, the regular day to day demands of marriage aren't a joy, they're a chore and they've busted his snow globe vision of you-and-him.

 

I can't say one way or the other if there's someone else - but it sounds like, at this time, all he's willing to have room for in most of his life is HIM. And that, does not a marriage make.

 

I'd let him go gracefully, even though it hurts. Tell him if he's really not ready for marriage, you'll start moving on - and unless you need to talk to him for something specific and essential - start suiting actions to words.