Boyfriend gay?

[sentient being]

Can anyone tell me your thoughts about this? We don't have actual intercourse, although we do have sexual relations. He says he can't orgasm this way so isn't that into it but I real miss it. When I ask about it, he comes up with ways to get him excited so I can get on top. It works okay for me but he is just hanging in there for me. I've asked him if he is bi and he gets insulted in a joking way. He's been in many relationships with women but none have worked out. He sometimes does seem gay with his mannerisms but he also checks out women, actually a lot. We are both around 50.

[lavenderdove]

>>We don't have actual intercourse, although we do have sexual relations.

 

OK, this could be several things.

 

First, he could be afraid of a pregnancy, and the safest way to not get pregnant is to not have intercourse.

 

Second, he could be lazy. Sex takes physical effort, and maybe he'd rather lie there and get pleasured rather than do the work to thrust.

 

Third, maybe he really, really likes blow jobs/hand jobs and prefers that sensation to intercourse. Lots of men do, and if you let them, they'll push you into having most sexual encounters being about them getting BJs rather than having intercourse.

 

Fourth, he has emotional hangups about sex... religious, strict upbringing, who knows.

 

Fifth, he's not that turned on by you but it is 'good enough for now' if you're willing to get him off with BJs.

 

Sixth, he could be gay.

 

So there are lots of possibilities there, but the bottom line is personally, i would NOT stay with a guy where he refused to have intercourse because i think that is the greatest joy when it comes to sex. And i wouldn't want to feel like a hooker constantly 'servicing' a guy with blow jobs when he refused to have sex with me. So my suggestion is if he's already admitted he doesn't like intercourse, then just move on. This guy isn't sexually compatible with you at all, for whatever reason.

[mhowe]

Is he checking out the women----or their clothes?

 

I agree w/ Lav....it is a deal breaker.

[chitown9]

Well it doesn't really matter what the reason is; if it doesn't work for you then it doesn't work for you. ....chi

[sentient being]

Thanks for your thoughts. I have a lot to think about.