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Is there really a better guy/girl out there?


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Aside from doing no contact, keeping myself busy, people are telling me that there is a better guy out there and I just have to be patient. Some days I believe this, some days I don't and I feel crap, "the one" left me, I blew it. The good ones are taken. Or not interested in the opposite gender.

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The good ones are not all taken. That would make me a bad one.

 

"The one" wouldn't leave you. If they did, they wouldn't be the one. You think you "blew it." Regardless of what you may have done, it wasn't worth it to him to communicate with you and address it. He chose to end the relationship.

 

So yes, there is a better guy out there.

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I sometimes feel like I lost my one true love in this breakup. It does seem, now that I'm in my 30's, that all the truly desireable ones are taken. I know that can't be the case. I appreciate the thought that if she really were the one that she wouldn't have left me. I'm gonna try to focus on that when I start to think that she was my one and only.

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The good ones are not all taken. That would make me a bad one.

 

"The one" wouldn't leave you. If they did, they wouldn't be the one. You think you "blew it." Regardless of what you may have done, it wasn't worth it to him to communicate with you and address it. He chose to end the relationship.

 

So yes, there is a better guy out there.

 

I think this is a really good attitude to have! I am feeling similar things at the moment. My ex of just under 4 months is now with someone else and I am in a feeling on thinking that I am not good enough and she is everything I am not and he will be blissfuly happy and I blew it. But I think you are right, if he had been the one then he would have worked through problems and wanted to make it work.

 

I hope that someday soon I can wish him well in his new relationship and not want to throw bricks through his windows instead

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Yes, definitely! I had those thoughts after my break up as well (I'll never connect like that with anyone else, all the good guys are in relationships already, etc). I was single for 2+ years after my break up until I met my current boyfriend. Our relationship is much stronger and more mature than my relationship with my ex and it was definitely worth the wait to find him.

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I would just say you have to have an attitude of abundance. There ARE indeed billions of people out there. You just want to find ONE.

 

And I think what happens is that you will find someone out there BETTER for you because he will be committed to you. I think that's what 'better' really means.

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The good ones are not all taken. That would make me a bad one.

 

"The one" wouldn't leave you. If they did, they wouldn't be the one. You think you "blew it." Regardless of what you may have done, it wasn't worth it to him to communicate with you and address it. He chose to end the relationship.

 

So yes, there is a better guy out there.

 

I really like this post. Very true. Think about it, you were probably committed to this relationship. Wouldn't you have stuck it out through good and through bad, and worked a way through the problems you had together? Someone who is committed to you will do exactly that, no excuses. And you're definitely worth a partner who is equally committed to the relationship. I have to keep reminding myself about that too

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I really like this post. Very true. Think about it, you were probably committed to this relationship. Wouldn't you have stuck it out through good and through bad, and worked a way through the problems you had together? Someone who is committed to you will do exactly that, no excuses. And you're definitely worth a partner who is equally committed to the relationship. I have to keep reminding myself about that too

 

that really just struck a chord, wow lol, such a simple yet powerful realization.

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Thank you guys so much. I'm still seeing him in rose-colored glasses and the weeks have been very rough for me. I miss him, he was my best friend. I'm still in my mourning phase right now, sometimes it's frustrating, and I feel pressured to heal as fast as I could. But I can't. Mornings and weekends are very difficult.

 

What are your thoughts in letting fater/God's will/etc. come in its own perfect timing and setting vs. going out a lot to meet new people until you can find the person that you want to be your partner?

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Thank you guys so much. I'm still seeing him in rose-colored glasses and the weeks have been very rough for me. I miss him, he was my best friend. I'm still in my mourning phase right now, sometimes it's frustrating, and I feel pressured to heal as fast as I could. But I can't. Mornings and weekends are very difficult.

 

What are your thoughts in letting fater/God's will/etc. come in its own perfect timing and setting vs. going out a lot to meet new people until you can find the person that you want to be your partner?

 

I always assumed that g-d wanted me to be proactive in finding a good match. That's what worked for me. Being a passive participant can make for a very romantic story especially if you're a woman but especially if you want biological children do you really want to take that chance?

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I always assumed that g-d wanted me to be proactive in finding a good match. That's what worked for me. Being a passive participant can make for a very romantic story especially if you're a woman but especially if you want biological children do you really want to take that chance?

I'm still not over my ex but I'm meeting guys. Not really looking for anything serious, I just want to make new friends and learn that I can find the qualities that I like in another man. This book I'm reading says if I keep on sharpening my social skills, when I'm ready, talking to the person I prefer will be easy since I already have confidence. I think that counts as proactive.

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i can relate to what liberate says on them not communicating and working it out together and instead just walking away from the relationship with you because i'm in that same boat with my ex...my ex and i broke up for times over this past year and a half, and we've been apart this 4th time since April now...shes done all the breaking up, and basically deciding to walk away from it everytime there was a bump in the road, whether it was my fault or not, because not every break up was really on me...yeah, she came back the first 3 times, but even with all the convincing and asking, her missing me and still caring for me, she hasn't wanted to try again this 4th time around, and it sucks, and despite how much i miss her and still care for and love her a little still, i hold some animosity towards her for just giving up on me every time she didn't want to deal with something negativity...i questioned if she even really loved me and honestly, i think she did...i'm actually her first love, i believe did love me, i don't think she would've come back to me the first 3 times if she didn't love me, but i don't think she loved me as much as i wish she did, she didn't love me as unconditionally as i loved her, she let one stupid negative outweight the million positives she loved about me and apparently it made her "fall out of love with me" which i don't think is fair and still don't get, but it is what it is and i can't make her love me or feel how she feels and why she feels it....and for all that, as much as i loved her and had a great, amazing time being with her and all the wonderful, special moments we shared, i do believe there is someone way better than her out there for me, because my ex obviously has no clue what she wants or knows completely what it takes to have a healthy relationship, and she certainly doesn't know how to commit herself strongly and or how to try very hard...shes a great girl, and i'm beyond glad she came into my life and we fell in love with each other, but i'm slowly but gradually realizing that there are probably more girls/woman out there who will love me more than her and love me despite my flaws, negative attriubutes, ect...she had her fair share of flaws, bad habits, negative attributes that drove me crazy too, trust me, but i never thought of breaking up with her for any of them for a second...breaking up was her easy way out so she "didn't have to deal", despite how she "claims" it wasn't easy for her too...it's not worth it waiting around or chasing after someone who only sees you now as an option, whether it be after the relationship or even during...i learned that the hard way!

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