sophi3

I have a question, how do you start LC after months/years of not talking?

For progress I am doing well with kids. I played with my nephews as well as talked to the kids from my dad's friend. Also I am volunteering to cook at home. I have better control with stress at work. My boss recently acknowledged my good work. He was also surprised that we are not together, since I am able to handle my emotions well now in public. I told you I was working on self improvement. I just wish you could see me now. I am praying that you are not indifferent or hate me. I don't think you are a bad person. I even told that you are not bad to my friends. I hope you are still open to friendship when I am fully healed and I have 0 feelings for you. Gut tells me it might take a yr or so, I don't know. Healing is hard.

i dont hate you. i hope that somehow you understand that im not contacting you because im not ready to be your friend yet. i hope you dont hate me either.

almost a month I've been closer to God because of this. I thank Him everyday, but it's now that I really get to focus on my blessings. I have friends who love me unconditionally. I have God who told us, "What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent". Things happen for a reason. I still feel pangs of pain especially in the morning, and waves of sadness throughout the day. Some nights I dream of him. Other days I wonder if there is a better guy out there, or if that is wishful thinking. Then I go back to God and His promise. Or talk to friends to remind me that I should focus on healing before jumping to a new relationship.