Girls - Best ballsy approach by a guy on you

[FitnessMan]

Girls, women, ladies and alike. To be blunt; I like talking to people, I'm very confident in that way. Many of my friends call me a 'natural communicator', which basically means I build rapport with people really easily with various topics. I can carry a conversation for hours with the approach being "it's getting cold outside now, isn't it".

 

I'd like to be more direct with girls, seeing a girl in the street and saying "hey! I wanted to let you know that you look fantastic/sexy! What's your name?"

I've used something similar to that before and had good conversations.

 

I find it very hard to escalate an interaction into something sexual, even on the path of a relationship, without first approaching with sexual intent. I, of course want to know about the person, I'm not 1 of these Casanova guys that beds anything that moves.

 

 

So I would like to know what kind of direct ways you, as a girl, are more receptive to? - I.e. being called sexy/ hot/ fantastic and such.

 

Plus, what is the best ballsy approach a guys had ever done on you?

[mhowe]

If a stranger tells me I am sexy, or hot....or fantastic --- I would think he is a nut job.

[FitnessMan]

A lot of girl I've talked and had great conversations with, I've told them that they look sexy within a few minutes. Many are very receptive to it.

 

On the other hand, recently I've been approaching people in-directly and still having great conversations.

 

 

My point is that I find it very hard to show any sexual intent, even after months of talking, without first showing sexual intent on the initial approach.

[kitkat620]

I've had strangers walk up to me and compliment me and I was nothing but flattered by it.

 

As far as you getting the conversation to eventually flow into sexual topics, I think that is something you can't plan out but something that would come naturally when you feel comfortable enough to lead the conversation in that direction. If you're not comfortable in general talking like that why force it? Especially since you seem to have success at whichever way you use to meet girls now.

[Kas2323]

I feel you have to have a physical attraction to someone when you start talking, but if a man starts off with sexually intent comments then I go right to thinking that is all he wants. I have never been approached in public always told I come accross intimidating and think that is do to my shy nature until I get comfy. Really not sure I have good advice for this one, maybe act interested in something this are looking at while out or feed off you environment to easy the approach.

[emma34]

Wo - agree with mhowe. If a guy approached me and one of the first lines are about me being sexy or frankly anything sexual about my appearance...my first inclination would be "D-BAG"...I would likely respond more favourably to something a little more specific like "you have a beautiful smile" but still I'd be cautious to respond to anyone whose first line to me is something about the way I look. I just honestly think that if you are going to approach a woman, you don't necessarily need to say something about the way she looks...I for one respect a guy much more for being able to appreciate me as a person rather than seeing me as an object that can be judged by the way I look.

 

I'm confused about what kind of interaction you are looking for. Are you looking to pick up girls to have sex with at the grocery store? Or are you looking for advice on what kind of lines work on women to attract them to you in general?

[FitnessMan]

I've had strangers walk up to me and compliment me and I was nothing but flattered by it.

 

As far as you getting the conversation to eventually flow into sexual topics, I think that is something you can't plan out but something that would come naturally when you feel comfortable enough to lead the conversation in that direction. If you're not comfortable in general talking like that why force it? Especially since you seem to have success at whichever way you use to meet girls now.

 

I'm trying to better myself all the time, in everything I do. Theoretically speaking I could be an athlete in a few different sports and 4 years before the London Olympics I was training to compete for TeamGB entry but constant peer pressure from school made me back out of the training. I was touted to be the best and my ability and potential was immense, as far as my club and coaches were concerned.

 

I let everything go because of pressure. I will never do that again. So I force myself to improve in everything I do, I want to show progression in everything. Same as approaching girls; I want to progress, get out of my comfort zones and really push myself.

 

It's just my attitude now, it's like me making up for my failure during my schooling years.

[emma34]

thing is girls are all different and will react different ways to different approaches...so talking to girls in general is not a skill that can be fostered like others. talking to people is a skill. but different lines will ellicit different kinds of responses so you really have to cater to the individual person you are wanting to speak to...

[FitnessMan]

It is pick up related but I have no intention to just have sex without first building rapport, for me that's important but I know guys that are, basically rabbits. I have been asked for sex by girls but I tend to back out because there's not enough rapport.

 

I wouldn't use pick up lines, I just say what I'm thinking quite a lot of the time. I have a very good off the cuff conversation with many people, male and female.

 

It's more so that I want to attract women in general with also going into some sexual intent, but that doesn't mean the conversation has to start in that way.

[kitkat620]

trying to delete this one.....

[kitkat620]

...but still I'd be cautious to respond to anyone whose first line to me is something about the way I look. I just honestly think that if you are going to approach a woman, you don't necessarily need to say something about the way she looks...I for one respect a guy much more for being able to appreciate me as a person rather than seeing me as an object that can be judged by the way I look.

 

A stranger is not going to approach someone he doesn't know to compliment their bubbly personality or intelligence is he? When a man approaches a woman he doesn't know it is because he finds her attractive.

[FitnessMan]

thing is girls are all different and will react different ways to different approaches...so talking to girls in general is not a skill that can be fostered like others. talking to people is a skill. but different lines will ellicit different kinds of responses so you really have to cater to the individual person you are wanting to speak to...

 

I totally see your point there, I for a long time, have approaches girls neutrally. Meaning "Hey, what's your name?" or if its some situation then I'd use that to approach the person. I think on my feet very well.

 

However, I need to better myself. The end goal for me, unlike many guys out there, is a relationship. Don't know if you have seen my post on my past relationships, so I just really want to have a great relationship with someone special. And calling on my conversational skills seems to be the best way to achieve that.

[kitkat620]

...but still I'd be cautious to respond to anyone whose first line to me is something about the way I look. I just honestly think that if you are going to approach a woman, you don't necessarily need to say something about the way she looks...I for one respect a guy much more for being able to appreciate me as a person rather than seeing me as an object that can be judged by the way I look.

 

A stranger is not going to approach someone he doesn't know to compliment their bubbly personality or intelligence is he? When a man approaches a woman he doesn't know it is because he finds her attractive.

[pl3asehelp]

A stranger is not going to approach someone he doesn't know to compliment their bubbly personality or intelligence is he? When a man approaches a woman he doesn't know it is because he finds her attractive.

 

Agreed, which is why unless you're looking for a relationships based on how you look rather than who you are, these approaches are a waste of time. Nothing balsy about them.

[FitnessMan]

A stranger is not going to approach someone he doesn't know to compliment their bubbly personality or intelligence is he? When a man approaches a woman he doesn't know it is because he finds her attractive.

 

When a guy approaches a girl, to quite a few guys a random approach like this is a direct way of saying 'I like you'. In some cases the guy will say in no uncertain terms that he likes her, but also he might be less direct and start building rapport and then show her that he likes her.

 

But the approach in the first place should be clear that he likes her, otherwise he wouldn't have approached.

[kitkat620]

I guess I don't understand why you feel it so important to work sexual innuendoes/talks into a conversation.

Like I said before, if you aren't comfortable enough with the person you're with to have dirty talk then you can't force it.

[kitkat620]

When a guy approaches a girl, to quite a few guys a random approach like this is a direct way of saying 'I like you'. In some cases the guy will say in no uncertain terms that he likes her, but also he might be less direct and start building rapport and then show her that he likes her.

 

But the approach in the first place should be clear that he likes her, otherwise he wouldn't have approached.

 

But how do you know that you like her if you've never met? What you mean is you're ATTRACTED to her. That is the point I am trying to get accross.

[FitnessMan]

Agreed, which is why unless you're looking for a relationships based on how you look rather than who you are, these approaches are a waste of time. Nothing balsy about them.

 

Disagree. If a guy says "Hi there whats your name?" - that's not balsy.

 

However, if he approaches over the top and direct with something like "wow baby your gorgeous!", then that is balsy as most guys would never do something like that. (ha I dunno where that came from)

 

Though, other people or shy people would suggest it's balsy to just talk to a girl. So really it's your own definition of the word.

[FitnessMan]

But how do you know that you like her if you've never met? What you mean is you're ATTRACTED to her. That is the point I am trying to get accross.

 

Yes, that is what I meant by that post. An approach shows you are attracted to her.

 

Which is why I don't see the need for a more direct approach like I've given examples of, however, I don't know any other ways for me to start developing sexual intent into my conversations with girls, at any stage of the conversation.

[happpybear]

best ballsy approach I have ever experienced that was also not d-bagish:

 

 

In the summer I was walking home alone after a night out with a friend, a group of men were walking toward me and when they were passing me on the sidewalk, one of the guys looked at me, stopped walking, and then sidled up beside me and stuck his arm out as if to escort me. It was really sweet, he walked me accross the street, he was visibly nervous and stuttering, but I gave him my number and we had a date a few days later. He did not call me sexy or hot, but his nervousness told me all I needed to know.

[Batya33]

Disagree. If a guy says "Hi there whats your name?" - that's not balsy.

 

However, if he approaches over the top and direct with something like "wow baby your gorgeous!", then that is balsy as most guys would never do something like that. (ha I dunno where that came from)

 

Though, other people or shy people would suggest it's balsy to just talk to a girl. So really it's your own definition of the word.

 

I would find that tacky and unoriginal, not ballsy. But that's just me.

[pl3asehelp]

Disagree. If a guy says "Hi there whats your name?" - that's not balsy.

 

However, if he approaches over the top and direct with something like "wow baby your gorgeous!", then that is balsy as most guys would never do something like that. (ha I dunno where that came from)

 

Though, other people or shy people would suggest it's balsy to just talk to a girl. So really it's your own definition of the word.

 

I guess if you find telling someone they're gorgeous to be over the top, but it seems pretty routine to me. It sounds like you just want to get laid and need some game - read the pick up artist stuff. It's just for men who are scared to talk to women without a gimmck and women who respond positively to approaches like this.

[FitnessMan]

I guess if you find telling someone they're gorgeous to be over the top, but it seems pretty routine to me. It sounds like you just want to get laid and need some game - read the pick up artist stuff. It's just for men who are scared to talk to women without a gimmck and women who respond positively to approaches like this.

 

I'm not wanting to get laid. And you seriously haven't got any idea. I can talk anyone easily, that was absolutely not the problem for me; the problem was bringing in a sexual vibe during a conversation because anytime I think about a girl from a sexual perspective I begin to think I'm cheating on my ex-girlfriend who died.

 

And again, you don't know what this so called pick-up artistry stuff is. Maybe in America its all weird stuff like that but I know a fair few guys in the UK who study pick up artistry through self improvement being purely authentic. I'm studying self improvement myself to get myself out of this guilt and move on, which is insanely difficult.

 

My girlfriend died the day before my birthday in a car crash with 3 other girls coming back from an afternoon shopping for my birthday. She rang me and was on loud speaker, tried to find out who was driving so if she was driving I'd end the call but then there were deafening screams and then a big bang and silence. Been blaming myself for years.

Slowly working away at it 5 years later.

A year later in college, the voted best looking girl in college asked me out, though it was all unofficial and I was still very much in the effects of the previous year. To my amazement, she was into drugs with some idiot girl I've known since primary school so I was forever getting her from night clubs and dragging her back home, had all the abuse whilst she was under the effects and everything. Her friends really held me in high regard for what I did for her. Then she goes and cheats in a club with some guy that fancied her for years, which her friend who was with her told me about. This goes on for months until he, or 1 of his slag on-the-side girls sends her a letter pretending to be me, going into detail about stuff I have no idea about. So it broke off very violently and the day before my 18th birthday I end up getting beaten up by about 8 lads with knuckle dusters, spades and the like.

 

Half a year after that there's another girl who had a lesbian friend. Long story short the lesbian friend found out that we were about to make things official so she made the most outlandish story I've ever heard. Anyways she believed her and didn't talk to me for over a month. They had a fight and she contacted me and I told her what really happened, then she wouldn't confront the other lesbian friend in case she'd lose her friendship. So after half a year of trying to sort things out with them, it was going nowhere so I left them all.

 

 

Now I've got into self improvement verging on slight natural pickup, mostly in order to help pick myself up and to fill a void. I regularly thing about having a relationship but the above is my experience of relationships and because of that, I am exceptionally fearful of a relationship. I think I'll be 1 of those people who come close all the time but then someone gets jealous and messes it all up and I'm there trying to pick up the pieces. Never to have a relationship again.

Been a long time since I've been truly happy, I just put on a smile, got rather good at it.

 

That's why self improvement and bettering myself after experiences at school, are so vitally important to me.

[pl3asehelp]

You sound pretty lost honestly - I don't thnk more sexual innuendo in your conversations with strange women is going to change your life in any positive way. If you need help grieving, you should seek out a therapist, not try to creep out strange women. I don't see any reason you need to bring sexuality into a conversation with a stranger unless you're trying to get laid.

[FitnessMan]

I'm not lost. Being lost suggest that you have no sense of direction to where you need or want to go. I'm finding stuff difficult because of my past; there's a difference.

 

Well just saying sexual stuff in conversations is helping my to break the bond. I don't want to change, I can't change whatever's there so why change yourself? In doing that you stop being authentic. I make my own way, doing my own things very well, I just want to do my own thing for a while without being forced to change by circumstances; I don't want any drama, I just want to work on myself.