Confused

[akrngrl]

I just got out of a long-term relationship and I'm extremely new to the "dating" world. In the past I've always jumped from committed relationship to committed relationship so this is the first time I'm single in I don't even know how long. The relationship ended on good terms (we became more friends than lovers and we had known it for a while). I'm not looking to be in a relationship again, but I'm also not into FWB or being a booty call.

 

That being said I met this guy a few months ago (we hung out as friends at the beach) and we had a lot of fun. He then got super flakey and stopped texting me. Then he texts me a few weeks later saying "I should be single so he could cuddle with me and watch movies etc. and that he likes me as more than a friend and if I ever want to be friends, but more to let him know" When I inquired about our lack of conversation he said he was "busy & also seeing someone for a short time".

 

If/when we make plans, but he doesn't let me know if they're definitely still on unless I text him and ask. Everything is prefaced with "maybe" "Maybe we can get together ______" etc and he's flaked out totally twice now. EVERYTHING he says is sexual; last time we hung out we made out, held hands, cuddled, kissed and whatnot, but I moved his straying hands and refused to do anything further then make out and lay together...clothes intact. He says he "knows" he has to take me out on dates, says he's glad I don't just "put out", and says all the things we can do, but doesn't do them. Example, the next day we were supposed to go to the movies and he never contacted me. That was two days ago. I've joked about his forgetfulness before and it's answered with "I'm busy".

 

Tonight he texted me at 8:30 with some convo that resulted in "come cuddle" "I like cute girls that cuddle" etc. which I'm assuming is a lame attempt at a booty call? I joked and told him to pretend I was there and that I was there in spirit and he stopped answering haha.

 

Aside from his sexual advances, we actually do have a lot in common and I would like to be actual friends. Being that I'm not looking to turn this guy into a boyfriend (because his actions make him a good looking friend/casual dating material at best) am I an idiot for still continuing to talk to him?

 

I want to ask him out this weekend to go take pictures and explore (a hobby we both seem to share and also to hang out during daylight). I'm just wondering if I'm being "that girl" who doesn't realize/think she's being used. I don't necessarily mind hanging out and kissing, but unless he shaped up his act he for sure would not be getting any farther. Is it worth trying to salvage a friendship that maybe includes some kissing and actual cuddling and going out or should I just ignore him if/when he texts again?

[mhowe]

He isn't going to "shape up". Put him on the back burner and go find someone who wants a real life gf.

[SooSad33]

This does NOT look like a 'friendship'.. kissing, cuddling and you know he wants more.

Now.. as YOU said "I'm not looking to be in a relationship again, but I'm also not into FWB or being a booty call."

 

So- you best keep those words on the surface of all of this and I agree. I think it is best for YOU to take a bit of a mental/emotional break from relationships for a good while and focus on YOU. Stop bringing guys into your life.

 

IF you're trying to get them to understand- ONLY friends. this guy is NOT listening and it'll probably mess you up a bit more, when you need to back off for a bit and get yourself straightened around some.. no?

[shellyf62]

He is only looking for a booty call, he isn't looking for a gf. Also being so "busy" he is probably being friends with a few girls.

 

Move on and find someone who it after the same thing you are.