How to let a guy know I'm not interested, politely?

[Lilu]

Hello everyone.

 

My problem is..there's a guy in one of my classes (Drawing) who seems TOO interested in me. He is such a nice guy- never has disrespected me, but I am not interested at all. I can't seem to find a way to tell him nicely to stop bugging me. He always tries to get my attention, plays with my hair, or wants to give me a hug at the end of the class E V E R Y S I N G L E D A Y!!!! Though, I really don't want to hurt his feelings.

 

ANY Advice is greatly appreciated.

 

Lilu

[Yorkrose23]

Just tell him politely that while you appreciate his friendship, you are getting irritated by him pulling your hair. As for the hugs, say you are interested in someone and you don't want it to appear that you and he are an item. Or just say that hugging in front of people embarrasses you.

See what happens. If he really truly does respect you, he will leave you alone. If not, you may need to ask to be left alone more aggressively the next time.

Good luck.

[Lilu]

Yes, that is exactly what I am going to do. I don't want him to think any different just because I havent said anything. I really don't want him to irritate me anymore.

 

Thank you Yorkrose23

[Yorkrose23]

You're welcome. Good luck Lilu!

[Blazintrav]

Please for the love of god tell him politely in a nice manner. One girl said it very rudely to me because she thought I didn't know that she wasn't interested. Whatever you do come off nice because you don't want to ruin a friendship.

[LikerOfWomen]

Sorry to break it to you, but there's no way to do it without hurting his feelings. The best thing you can do is suck it up and let him know as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more it'll hurt him.

 

Actually, that's not entirely true. There is one way, and it may not work, but it's the only possibility. And I'm not kidding here. Be gross. Let him see you pick your nose and eat it. If you two are ever alone together, try to fart a lot. I'm not kidding. As long as he likes you, finding out that you're into him is going to hurt no matter what silly way you try to word it. The semantics don't matter one bit, it's all gonna hurt. The only way to avoid hurting him is to become so unattractive to him that he actually loses interest. That's your only option.

[ocean]

I think it would be best to tell him that you are not feeling comfortable with all of this attention. He is invading your space, and this is NOT okay! If you value his friendship, talk to him kindly.

 

You have the right to decide who touches you.

[LikerOfWomen]

It amazes me how girls think talking to a guy kindly is going to matter. Look, it's the action of revealing that you're not into him that's going to hurt him. I don't care if you dress it up with a cake and a bunch of balloons that say "I'm sorry" and $500 for good will. It's still gonna hurt.

 

You've got two options:

 

1. Hurt him, the sooner the better, because it'll hurt worse the longer you wait. And don't leave him wondering. Sure, don't be mean, but don't leave any doubt that you're not into him. Leaving doubt is like giving someone a shot but just sticking the needle in and leaving it there to rust.

 

2. Get him to stop liking you. You can only do this by being really unattractive, doing something really gross, maybe listening to music he can't stand all the time, or pretending to be a completely obsessed religious zealot or something. If you've got mutual friends or something and acting repulsive with him would spread rumors and hurt your other relationships, you probably don't want to do this option.

[tbbearcat5]

I have had to let a few people down easily...just be yourself about it, and don't leave the person with a sense of bitterness towards you

[Scout]

Of course it will hurt his feelings, but he really shouldn't be making such aggressive overtures if he's not prepared to find out how you really feel. I agree to tell him nicely and politely that you like him as a friend and think he's a nice guy. However, you are not physically affectionate with your platonic friends - at least to the point he's taking it - and you need him to tone it down a bit.

 

That's about as tactful as you can get. If he keeps pressing the issue, for God's sake don't feel you have to pick your nose! Simply tell him to cool it. Period.

[LikerOfWomen]

I never said she had to pick her nose. She can always choose to hurt him and it may be the only viable option. If she does, then the sooner the better is the most important thing. The longer she waits, the worse he'll feel. If she actually wants to keep from hurting him altogether, the only way to do it is to act so disgusting that he stops feeling attracted to her.

[themanwhorocks]

be honest and just tell him, it's the best for the both of you

[Ceema-k]

I'm with LikerofWoman on this... no one wants to be rude or insensitive, but when girls try to let a guy down gently, it's almost as much absolving themselves of some guilt as it is just trying to be polite.

 

Even the most well-worn brush off lines will hurt the guy as much as simply saying "No, I'm not interested". In fact, some brush off lines carry with it a vagueness that can be even more damaging to the guy if he tries to "read into it" too much.

 

the sooner the better. please don't lead the guy on.

[Lilu]

I chose to be honest with him- He accepted the fact that we can only be friends. He did look a bit disappointed, but he understood and gave me a smile.

 

Thanx of all you for the advice

 

Lilu