need help with dating specifics

[summernite]

My question is easy:

 

I moved to North America a long time ago, I got married really quickly without really experiencing the "cultural" specifics of conventional dating. 10 years later I am separated and I'm finding all this dating stuff confusing:

 

What is the difference between dating, seeing each other, and having a boyfriend? And what's the deal with exclusivity? Is there a specific conversation that needs to take place at some point? What else do I need to know about this? Can anyone explain please?

 

Thank you,

 

Summernite

[Thorshammer]

Dating is just that, going out on dates. But, this creates a lot of confusion to many people. Some people take the word dating as a serious step, some mean it as a relationship or close to one, while some mean as just meeting up for dates. Some people use this word for anything, for open relationships, to friends with benefits. I remember my ex once told me we were dating and i flipped out, i said "WE ARE NOT DATING, YOU ARE MY GF!" And she said "yeah... thats dating, you want me to say we are going out...same thing!'. While the girl im seeing said we are dating, and i didnt respond to that because i dont know where her head is at or how she uses that word, and i dont really want to seal the deal with this girl just yet.

 

Seeing each other is less formal. This is used in a less serious tone as the dating above. I usually hear this when i know a girl is with someone, and she throws this line to mean - hes not serious competition for me just yet, or in other words; he's not at that level to be taken seriously".

 

A bf is someone who is committed to you. He doesnt have one foot out the door, where the above two might. Obviously it doesnt mean he cant treat you like someone he is only seeing- but it shouldnt be that way. A lot of people who are not sure about you usually dont make you their gf, its less messy and expected for them to have the freedom to leave with the above two options.

 

Yes, a conversation is needed. I advise you, if you are a female, to not prolong things and wait on him. You can cross out the guys who dont want relationships a lot faster this way, then clinging on in hopes he will change or because you are too intimidated or scared that you will lose him by being too forward (big mistake!). If you are a guy, and you feel intimidated by the whole thing, at the very least drop hints to your intentions.

[mhowe]

And if someone is living with their partner, they are way beyond dating and in relationship. So, not available to date other women on the side.

[summernite]

Fascinating. I wish I'd known this months ago. No I feel really silly.

[summernite]

All this levels of commitment. I wish it was easier:

friends- boyfriend-fiance-husband.