When do I get a break?

[mdiddy811999]

Does fairness even exsist? I guess ill start with what kind of break that im talking about.

 

Besides that i lost a good friend that was stabbed and my cousin that was killed in an accident 7 months ago and im alone.........

 

The father of my daughter owes my over 1400 dollars. I've violated he for the second time 4wks ago and i stll haven't heard anything or received anything in the mail about the situation. We we're together for 7yrs and all he did was degrad me and abuse me. thats done and over thank god. But ever since we had a little girl he has nothing to do with her only when its to his convience. Which is whenever his girlfriend kicks him out. But since the first time i violated him ive received 10 dollars. What the hell is that gonna do for me.

 

The father of my son, which i just had 4wks ago today, tells me he is gonna come over to see him and doesn't show up or call . He then pops up two days later. But If I have a family member watch him so I can go out for the night he'll call and leave a message demanding that he gets him that next weekend. What's fair about that? He said he was gonna give me money one week and I still have not received anything. He now ows me for 4wks. I haven't talked to him since last sat. and was gonna come over on sun.

 

im off of work until dec 15 i have no money. I have layaway to still pay for which is stuff for thier kids and i cant even get help from them.

 

I work my butt off to support myself and my kids and all i want is a break and for them to take care of thiers.

 

God life can really suck. They say that god only gives you what you can handle but i cant handle anything anymore.

[avman]

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "violated" him. Do you mean you reported him to child support enforcement? Because they should be able to garnish his wages to get you the money he should be paying. Or they can take away his license or put him in jail if he refuses to pay.

 

I guess I'm just a little unclear on the situation.

[mdiddy811999]

yes i reported him for the second time. The first time he gave me 10 dollars so he wouldn't go to jail.

They cant garnish or take his lisense cause he has nothing.

[avman]

Well they can't take what he doesn't have I suppose. Sounds like he's no help. You could maybe apply for welfare benefits since he's not paying you child support. Then you'd have enough money to survive while looking for other work.

 

And it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed as many single mothers do. Maybe you want to check out a support group in your area with other single mothers. They frequently have babysitting trading, help each other find jobs, support each other with emotional issues, etc. Then you won't feel like you are doing this all by yourself.

[mdiddy811999]

im only off of work for maternity leave.

 

But the thing is, is that he has the money.

 

But i guess it doesn't matter no one can help me.

 

The county sucks and wont help those that really do work hard.

 

Thanks anyways i wouldnt expect you to really understand.

[avman]

Ok then. You're welcome.

[GettingOverIt]

I used to believe that God only gives you what you can handle, but sometimes, you really gotta wonder.... I think we like to 'blame' things on God that aren't really Him at all... Think of Job... That wasn't really God giving him all he could handle... That was the devil who was allowed to 'consider' Job...

 

Sorry for the tangent there...

 

Some people shirk their responsibilities for reasons we may never understand. Right now, the best you can do is to keep doing what you have been doing - report them.

 

In the meantime, don't let them run your life. If they say they will be there on certain days and they don't show up until two days later, then deny them visitation. They will learn that they cannot run your life.

 

I'm not an expert, just telling you what I think...

[mdiddy811999]

thanks for your advice.

 

thays what ive always done was let everyone else run my life. i always let myself make everyone else happy and my self last.

[GettingOverIt]

I know exactly what you mean. I still spend a bunch of my time trying to say the right thing or do the right thing for everyone else, and in the process I am dragging myself down. I am starting to change that, and it is not easy. People won't be used to the 'new you' but if we spend all our time trying to make everyone else happy, then we are left with nothing for ourselves.

 

That's why I say you do your best to stick to the visitation. Let the guys know that they better come when they say they are coming, or they won't be allowed to see the babies. Sorry, but you have a life too, and you can't be accommodating their every whim... Now, there will be exceptions, of course, but still....

[mdiddy811999]

Thank you for the things you said it helps alot.

 

I want to be a new person and live my life the way I want to not the way everyone else wants me to live.