Regret is the hardest pill to swallow

[Jayru]

Thank you for the encouragement! I am trying to accept that what i did was wrong, and I cannot go back in time to change anything. So I am trying to move forward with my daughter and just saying to myself "If we are meant to be together in the future, we will be, but right now we are not."

[Jayru]

I just feel guilty because he is an amazing father and provider. There was no conversation with the pictures, he literally saw the text with the picture and flipped. I think it is all because of who it is, it is the same person from last year, so naturally my ex thought I was still in communication with him. I dont blame him, I wouldve thought and reacted the same way.

I have since changed my phone# (what I shouldve done last year) and am trying to accept the situation and move forward. As painful as it is!!

 

My ex (ouch, hurts to type that) has since calmed down and has slept at home everyday for the past week. We have sat down for dinner almost everyday together with the baby. But he is still standing by his decision, and my move in date at the apt. is still Oct. 1st.

 

Im dreading that day and know I will be a mess for the next month or so at least.... its going to be hard to say the least.

[Jayru]

I agree... I betrayed his trust, PERIOD. I dont think I would be so mature about things if it were the other way around. He is still being friendly... distant, but friendly. I hope that doesnt change when I move out. But on the other hand, when he is friendly I cant help but to get my hopes up!

[Jayru]

He has since admitted to me that he had been checking my texts all year... and that that was the first time he found anything. It wasnt the message that made him react this way, I think it was WHO the message was from. Bottom line, he said he cannot trust me, and that he cant marry someone he doesnt trust. I cannot argue with that. All I can do is keep it civil for the baby, and maybe one day he will change his mind... but as of now, he is done