Picture perfect? Not really...

[Happybtconfuse]

My bf and I have been together for 4 yrs, we are like the Brady bunch he has 3 kids from before I have 1 and we have 2 together. To him and the outside world everything looks perfect. I wake up 6:30 to get his kids ready for school, then wake him up make him breaky and his lunch, send them off for the day. Then I'm up with my kids send 1 off to kindergarten, make lunch clean up do laundry make supper clean up bathe the kids put them to bed and do it all over again. I never go anywhere or do anything, the only ppl I talk to are my kids and sister inlaw. My parents live far away from me but it's not like my mother even cares to see me or ask about my kids. My bf never wants to go anywhere or do anything, he never wants to go visit my family , his view is they never come see you so why should you go see them. I haven't seen my dad in 3 yrs but my dad doesn't drive and lives far but when I did live in the city he came to see me all the time. It hurts me that I never get to see anyone or my friends, my friend almost broke up with me because I couldn't keep our dates. It also hurts me when he makes me feel like nothing is good enough or I should of done something better. He doesn't say it or maybe he doesn't even know he's doing it. He has recently started counselling for anger management and for whatever else is bugging him. Yesterday he said they talked about me and how a happy wife equals a happy life and she asked him if he thinks I'm happy, he said he thinks I'm really trying to be happy or keep things together and that he's not the best bf. I hope he works on himself and realizes the world doesn't revolve around him and that I have opinions and feelings too!!! This isn't really a question but more of a vent , I wouldn't mind comments tho

[pinkelephant]

why cant you go see your friends or family?

[Nicole831]

My ex has 3 kids and I have one. We never lived together bc he still lives with his parents. We always talked about the future and having kids. But he was also very selfish and self absorbed. Not to mention Insecure. He projected his negative feelings onto me and blamed me for not making time for him among other things. I always hoped he'd somehow magically see how he's treated me, and I know he loves me, but by constantly blaming me and never really asking how I felt or was doing, it made me feel exactly the opposite. At least he reached out and went to seek help for himself. And hopefully he will see what he's been doing. I wish you luck!! Because you DO have feelings and should be able to voice them.

[Heather Dawn]

Can you work? It would probably help you feel less isolated and bored.

[Purusha]

If he doesn't think you're happy, in other words, he doesn't know that you're not, it doesn't sound like you guys are talking much.

 

Your life sounds pretty full on, and I bet you're exhausted by the end of the day, but it's really important to make time together and also for you to go out and see people - your identity is important as is your partners.

 

Can you visit your family on your own if your partner doesn't want to come? Can you get a babysitter so that you can spend time together?

 

You need more quality time in your life by the sounds of it.

[Happybtconfuse]

My dad lives like 4 hrs away too long to drive plus the gas it takes to get there I guess, I'm a new driver and still need someone to drive with me and we only have each other. We go see my grandparents once in awhile ( they live about 45 mins away)but only for like 15 mins cuz my bf doesn't like visiting ppl . He was kind of a hermit , doesn't like being in crowds or around alot of ppl. Whereas I love ppl and visiting lol I used to work during the summer but it was just too hard, local daycare didnt have any available spots so I had to resign.

[Purusha]

Ok, is there anything locally you'd be interested in joining once a week to meet more people in your area? Your bf could look after them.

 

With your grandparents, is there no bus? Your bf could drop you off and pick you up later.

 

There are ways and means but you do have to talk about how you feel so that you can work this kind of stuff out, otherwise the resentment will build up and you end up with a messed up relationship.

 

You say you're a new driver and need someone to drive with you - is that nerves or insurance ?! Just to clarify

[Edmund Exley]

What is it that you would like to have change in order for you to feel happier?

[pl3asehelp]

Wow, I think you do way too much for your bf. I do more than half of the stuff you mentioned that you do for him. It's almost like instead of having a partner to work together with you have the burden of an extra person to take care of. Why doesn't he get himself up and help with the meals and getting the kids ready? It's not fair and you shouldn't tolerate this lazy selfish behavior.