I need help, every day is a fight and i don't know if ending it is worth it.

[ZimboGon]

So, we've dated for about 3 years. A year into our relationship, there was a few problems and we split. I was pretty out of it, there was some distance, she was unhappy, and she went to another guy. We broke up, she didn't cheat on me physically but she was emotionally invested in the other guy.

 

5 months or so later we got back together. Things have been great for about 2 years. We fixed all our problems, and we've been super happy. So, about a month ago she went off to school in California. I'm 21, she's 18. She's at one of the largest party schools. She was one of those girls who didn't like parties or drinking, and now every night she's going out drinking and sending me drunken selfies and i'm hearing stories about her throwing up. The first night she was there, someone tried to kiss her! Granted she left afterwards.

 

Its just hard. I don't hear from her as much as I'd like. She's really preoccupied, and not just with school, but with her new life and all her friends. Honestly, sometimes i don't even feel important. I know she's spending lots of time just in her room on her computer and i'm not hearing from her. We will be video chatting and she'll get a text and smile at it and reply, and it kills me because its one of the guys she met.

 

So one night we had a talk. She was pretty drunk, and telling me about a party. In her drunken state, she told me 'Hah, i bet though sometimes i'd have more fun if i was single.' Because apparently at the parties, no guys want to talk to or hang out with her the second she mentions she has a boyfriend. At that point, i tried to dump her. She told me the only way she'd ever break up with me is if she knew she could have me when she's done with school and whenever she goes home to visit, because long term her wants to be with me and short term her wants to party. I kept trying to end it that phone call and she kept refusing. I told her later that we could for sure make things work and put the effort in, or go our separate ways and i won't be waiting for her. If sometime down the line, we're both single and we want to give it a shot, maybe. But we either work this out as a couple, or we go our separate ways.

 

She told me she didn't want to break up, and since then I've thought of nothing BUT breaking up. I love this girl, i'd die for this girl. I'm so happy with her, i'm glad i don't need to stress about finding anyone else because i love her so much. Even her friends tell her how lucky she is to have a guy like me. But now i feel like she's taking me for granted and I'm not hearing much from her at all.

 

So I've been thinking about SERIOUSLY breaking up with her. I know she's young and immature and has a lot to realize. I feel like if we break up she'll get a system shock and realize what her life is like without me in it. I'd really love to see this girl and start a life with her maybe when schools out, but i'd be terrified if she found someone at college.

 

I'm just not sure. Do i try and endure this until the holidays and we see each other again? Or do i end it now and possibly spare myself the heartache.

[ZimboGon]

Man am i really that uninteresting?

[mhowe]

I think if you really want to save yourself some heartache, you will break up with her. And not see her at the holidays.

She has 4 years of college --- and you know if she is already making comments about "being single", then this isn't going to last the 4 years. And you don't need to be waiting.

 

Let her go --- and get back out there. You have a life to live.