HELP!! She is coming back -- need advice!!

[MrLonely]

Well. After all my posts in the last week, she msg me. We talked for a bit and went out to eat. She told me alot. She said that she still loves me and that she couldn't stop thinking about me the whole time (3 weeks). I inquired about the "other guy" and sure enough he turned out to be an idiot, and it fizzled 2 weeks ago. She apologized for everything that was said, she was not mad at me - just mad at herself and not handling her feelings properly. I forgave her, since i do love her.

 

She told me she wants to start hanging out and see where it goes. She doesn't want to jump back into it right away - she is unsure if i changed some of my bad ways. (Let me tell you, i was jealous and argumentative before, picking little fights all the time, that kind of crap. I have done some thinking and i am changing for the better). She said that if i can prove to her i dont carry that crap anymore, the relationship will be perfect.

 

She tells me she is finding it exciting (as am i) hanging out now, it feels like when we first started going out (1.5 years ago). She says that she loves the excitment and that the old relationship got "too comfortable". Each time we part now, she hugs me very tight and starts to cry. I almost do too.

 

I am being taken for a ride? Or does this sound sincear enough?

 

Opinions please - keeping in mind that i love her very much, but at the same time i am very cautious.

 

My story link removed

[titan]

In a relationship things are meant to become comfortable after a period of time, some people like the Buzz of a new relationship and will always seek that thrill. I personally don't think you have healed properly and will not jump into anything.

 

I would tell her that you need time and if she did love she would wait.

[MrLonely]

I'm waiting now anyway - 2 weeks until exams are over. (not a lot of time i know)

 

Do i need to fully heal first? Does this mean get over her?

[Jimbo10]

You have all the reason in the world to be causions pal, but maybe she really does love you. She found out the last guy was a moron, and didn't need him

 

You don't know how good you got it, till you don't got it no more.

 

If it were me, i'd try her again. She sounds serious this time, this might be a real opertunity, and you might regret it if you let her walk away.

 

Good luck buddy

[MrLonely]

My thoughts exactly. She did say however that she doesn't want to jump in quickly, find that its still the same (my issues) and then have to breakup again, hurting us both again.

 

She mentioned that she thought it would "get easier", but it didn't and she does miss me.

 

She is acting really cutsie and stuff like when we first started, which i really enjoy - with reservations.

 

Since we are not together yet - i am trying my best to be the best i can be, and to "woo" her again.

[zab]

Mr lonely...the best thing u can do is just be her friend for now...see if she annoys you or you annoy her...dnt jump straight back in, give urself time to adjust to her being back in ur life...remember what bad things you did and try to avoid them just as friends and then u definitely will if u get back with her...good luck buddy

 

Zab

[MrLonely]

Yeah that almost quoting her. If all the bad is gone, we are perfect.

 

I just dont want to be played.

 

I also said, "what if somone else comes along" and she said, thats it - if they do they do.....

[Iceman26]

If having her back is what you want, then I say go for it. Take it slow like she suggested, and remember the mistakes you both made, and work on improving your friendship with her.

 

Its easy to get comfortable and lazy in a relationship, just make sure you spice it up every once in a while.

[zab]

well looks like she does respect you then if shes saying that somebody else coming along is basically for YOU to decide if uo go with them or stay with her. obviously u dnt wana b played...who does? as i said just play it cool n see wat happens. Also...give me some advice...can find my story here...

 

 

 

Zab

[MrLonely]

Oh - i mean the other person coming along for both of us. Thats what confused me.

[zab]

what so there is some one else who is in ur life and some 1 else in her aswel??

[MrLonely]

No, I was just stating in case to her. She said friends, see where it goes, if it is good then yeah - if not, the friends.

 

I ment in the mean time, if someone else comes along, am i tossed to the side? And she said maybe, see when/if it happens.

[zab]

ohhh i get u now, well that puts a bit of a hex on things because if u love this gurl u dnt wana see her with some1 else, but then again u do need time. What about if u get in 2 a relationship where its jst 'causal love', so u r together but not actually a full couple...just getting to know each other again

[MrLonely]

I duuno - i dont want to devalue what we had or might have...call me a dork!

 

Any female voices out there?

[MrLonely]

I guess i shouldnt push things, she said what she said. Still i get worried....

 

Anybody else ever in this situation???

[MrLonely]

AAARRGGGHHH!

 

So confused! Now she is saying that we are only friends and that she loves me like her friends...and that we are still done. Also, that she said all the things because of her emotions -- she doesn't understand them.....

 

One sec she wants to see where it goes, the next...only friends!!

 

She said she doesn't know if she misses me, or the comfort of the relationship.....

 

Going crazy!!

 

Someone please help!!

[Iceman26]

If you want some help, you can do three things. Tell her to leave you alone until she figures out which of her personalities is in charge, or you can drop her and find a stable one, or you can be her friend and watch her with other guys.

[MrLonely]

That sounds good.

 

I just told her about another girl i am interested in, and the 20 questions came. I asked her what she is gonna do if she finds out i'm with somone when she figures it out, and she said that that is what worries her....

 

She seems to want me close, but not too close...so she can still be free, but have me around...

 

?????

[MrLonely]

well

[MrLonely]

Well she told me that she wants her cake and eat it too. She wants to see where it can go with the other guy (and maybe another) BUT still keep me around since there could be a chance for us again.

 

I told her that, that is not fair - and she said it's not fair for her either......since she is getting crap for it from me. Well she should! So she is feeling bad for using me (and she said she is not using me since we are not together, that makes no sense).

 

Am i reading into this right? Is this correct meaning of "having cake and eating it too".....

 

I still love her very much - but what the heck do i do??

[Iceman26]

I think the better question to ask is why would you even care about someone who values being with someone else more than being with you?

 

Seriously, if she is that selfish and shallow, why would you want to be with her? She flat out told you that you are only second best to her!

 

What you need to do is drop this chick like a bad habit and never talk to her again. I get the feeling like what you are going to do is sit around and keep taking this abuse.

[zab]

ice man is right, u need to get another girl and leave her to her business, she is trying to have everything she wants and u are letting her which is unfair on u, dont think about what she wants, put yourself 1st, trust me...(i think i need to learn to do that ) lol

 

Zab

[MrLonely]

I know, I know......

 

I love her - and it felt so good seeing her the past weekend. The way she acted, and what she said...............

 

Life sux.

[Iceman26]

Move on dude, life will get better, I promise.