PrettyGood Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 I have been waiting for my dumper ex to get back with me for 1 full month and 3 days. I waited till my period (it felt like my blood washed away all the reminders of the past with him), I waited for 1 month and 3 days in NC and he didn't contacted me. Since we are all human, I wanted to have sex within 2 weeks, but I still hold myself off any physical intercourse with anyone. However, today I had sex with an acquaintance of mine. He is very athletic and beautiful man who revealed having crush on me since I was dumped. He sculpted a gentle wooden heart for me as a gift today and we watched a film at his house with some wine and snacks. In the beginning I thought I should not have sex, but 2 glasses of wine after I started flirting with him and we made love twice. I can tell you, I don't feel guilty even for a moment. The sex was amazing and all I understood - I wanted to do that for too long already. He washed me in shower after all and asked to stay overnight. However, I returned home and feel so great physically and mentally. I feel sexy and desirable woman again and that's soooo nice. How long do you wait to have sex with anyone after the break up? I mean even if it's just sex and nothing emotional. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 As long (or as short) as you want. You know you best. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 I know, but what about general experience of time in the past? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Let's see --- the last time....7 months. The time before that....4 months. Link to comment
sadgirl23 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 It's not no contact if it's "waiting" for your ex to come back to you.. I don't think it would be fair to go back to your ex after this, just saying. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 It's not no contact if it's "waiting" for your ex to come back to you.. I don't think it would be fair to go back to your ex after this, just saying. No contact ---- is not being in contact. If OP was hoping he might come back, that's fine. When he didn't, she decided she was ready for sex. There isn't a rule book. If her ex comes back after today --- whatever she did after they broke up is none of his business. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 No contact ---- is not being in contact. If OP was hoping he might come back, that's fine. When he didn't, she decided she was ready for sex. There isn't a rule book. If her ex comes back after today --- whatever she did after they broke up is none of his business. I totally agree. I mean it's not a revenge and he's not getting back, so what, should I still be waiting while my ex has probably already had sex with one or more random (or exclusive) girls? I don't even consider it cheating while he dumped me Link to comment
Darrowz Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 This is tricky and I honestly think it depends on the breakup you experience and how much you respect your partner/ex. When I first broke up with my EX i was at a party and had the opportunity that night to sleep with a girl. We slept in the same bed and everything but part of me refused to do that to my EX because we had only just broken up that morning and I knew it would hurt her. We ended up getting back together and when we eventually broke up for good she slept with another man a week after we broke up. It was honestly very hard for me to accept and it made me feel like I was worthless and men't nothing. I didn't understand how she could so quickly run off and sleep with another guy. Especially when I with held previously in our relationship as stated above. As I said, I think it depends how the breakup and how much you respect the other person. Link to comment
sadgirl23 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 This is why I just don't like the use of the word "waiting" because it implies you are holding out for them to come back or to be sure it's over. It's going to hurt someone no matter what if you find out how soon -I fail to see how a relationship can be ressurected from that. I think once you decide to have sex after a break up there should be no turning back. It will become a pattern that you break up to go sleep with other people and that is not a committed relationship. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 This is why I just don't like the use of the word "waiting" because it implies you are holding out for them to come back or to be sure it's over. It's going to hurt someone no matter what if you find out how soon -I fail to see how a relationship can be ressurected from that. I think once you decide to have sex after a break up there should be no turning back. It will become a pattern that you break up to go sleep with other people and that is not a committed relationship. Those are your rules and you are welcome to them! The person I decided to have sex with was my ex.... However, after you have broken up --- it is no longer a committed relationship. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 I thought I should not have sex, but 2 glasses of wine after I started flirting with him and we made love twice. I think you should stop just letting things happen to do and take charge of yourself. You have been on here about several exes in the past few months or year - guys who don't treat you right, or you simply jump to a new guy quickly. Take care of yourself. If you are heartbroken and its only been 4 weeks or so since a breakup, don't meet up with a guy. Or if you must and won't abide by that, meet him in a public place and not where you will be tempted to have sex - just for the sake of protecting your heart right now. It is a big roller coaster going from guy to guy. If you seriously are after sex, then do it consciously. Don't just "i didn't set out for it, but it just happened". Really get to know someone - it really feels better than just cycling through guys. I am not saying that to be mean in any way - but it wears you out after awhile. Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 It took me about a month as well but I wasn't paying attention to the time but I waited until I knew we weren't getting back together and I wouldn't ever have to explain myself to him about it. I slept with a guy from my past and felt no guilt and enjoyed feeling wanted again. But after that I didn't sleep with someone for 8 months (longest ive gone since losing my vicinity!) because I had more time to myself to realize I wasn't ready to be doing that when still being in love with my ex. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 I am also not gonna do a relationship stuff for a while. I just wanted to have sex. It felt right at that moment and it still feels right now. Maybe such way of thinking reminds most of men, but I am a woman and I really don't need to be judged by anyone for doing that. I just wanted to get laid at that moment. No strings attached Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 I had sex with someone new almost immediately after breaking up with my ex. To be fair, the reason I broke up with him was because I couldn't get him to have sex with me. So, I had a lot of sexual frustration pent up. Link to comment
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