Inability to let go

[hurtbylove]

I have posted here for a while now, but never made my own thread. I've thought my situation out to death thousands of times.

 

I can stand outside my perspective and see it from the outside world. Yet, I just .. can't get a grip on reality.

 

My ex and I were together for 3 months.. not a long time, but my first relationship. It was very intense and meant a lot to me.

 

What happened is that she ended up liking another guy. They were together for a short time and then he broke up with her. Now she is trying to get him back.

 

I've stood back through all of this. I can see how pointless my actions are. I see how stupid all my scheming is. I know that she has no feelings for me anymore. I broke NC, telling her what I've been up to and how I've been. She didn't respond. I know what that means. So why did I send another email tonight, basically asking that if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore it's ok, but I would like to keep up contact.

 

I see myself in some of these other posts. Posts where the girl has moved on and the broken-hearted guy still tries desperately to keep contact and possibly more.

 

I am that guy.

I don't like it, but I am having a hard time walking away.

 

 

 

Why do I keep hope when there is none. I can give other people advice just fine, but dealing with my own feelings is so hard. Post breakup life has been hard on me. Really hard. Its really been a self induced private hell.

 

Sometimes it's better, other times it's worse.

 

I've always been a stubborn person. Angry sometimes, vengeful. But I held back those feelings the best I could, as she just walked out of my life as quickly as she came.

 

I'm not really asking for help then, because I know my own solution to my problem.

 

1. Time

2. New girl

 

 

I think the "Gods" have a nice sense of humor though. Love is so arcane. Feelings are so ethereal.

 

I am a methodical person. I do something, I expect a result. I don't like this whole system of a relationship can fall apart at a moments notice. It's just not fun for me.

 

Really the lesson is to live life to the fullest because you don't know when the fun will end. blah, it's time to come out of my security shell.

 

I think I'm alone a lot, but reality is that my situation isn't unique, and hundreds of other people are dealing with the same issues I am.

 

But still, that's no comfort when you want to reach out for someone you love when she is no longer there.

 

Chin up, things will get better

[Vacuum]

half way through reading i was gonna tell you to give yourself advice ... you did... good work you know what to do

[michelemybell]

hurt,

You are right. A lot of people have gone through what you described. Me included. It was and still is the hardest thing I've ever been through. And I know that even if millions of people have gone through the same thing, it doesn't make you feel any better----and sometimes you still feel all alone. But you will live and get over this.

 

Time and a new girlfriend will definitely make you move on. But also find some real interests and get involved with them. I know you've probably heard the advice "Find some hobbies" before, but unless you seriously get busy with something to distract your mind, you wont feel any different. And if you can, pick up a new sport. Of course you're going to still think of her, but you'll start feeling a lot better if you can get out of a rut. Trust me on this. It works.

 

And if you stick to no contact and do other things in your life, I have a feeling Miss Ex will come looking for you.

 

You take care,

Michele

[jgrissom]

Wow! I feel like you described the same step I am in. Where hope meets disappointment. I want to talk to my ex, but he does not. I want reconciliation... and I assume he does not care. I think I took it to far for NC to work... but I don't know. Everyday is a new day. But do ex take time out and end up being ok to talk wit eachother...cause I hope most do. We never fought when we were together.. so why now?