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I was dating my ex gf for about four years and it ended (more or less) about 7 months ago. I see her around every so often. We work out at the same gym but have a schedule so we don't run into each other. She does things like stays past the agreed time and I don't know if this is because she wants to run into me. My suspicion is yes. I see her car out in front of this guy's house (from the gym as well). She says they're not screwing around and he's not her type but my suspicion is it's bs.

I broke off our relationship because I found out she was being unfaithful with someone that was in a power position over me. I quit my job (good severance package) and sent an email to the guy she was messing with and told him next time he wouldn't be so lucky (I just felt like letting him know that I knew what happened).

My issue is I can't stop thinking about her. I get insanely jealous and this relationship has brought out the absolute worst in me. A big part of this is that I am still unemployed and the solitude of being home all day is killing me. I've got a line on a couple of jobs which god willing will turn out in my favor. I keep calling her which makes me look ridiculous and I just feel all around pathetic. I'm a decent looking guy and I do allright with the ladies but all I want is the one that absolutely decimated me. I realize it's true that until you've got the one out of your system you can't pursue anything healthy. Why is it that we want what we can't have? Has anyone fiigured that one out?

If anyone has any tips on how to do the NC thing please respond. I feel about an inch tall right now. We had a blow out yesterday and I think I realize it's over (I told her I don't think I could ever trust her again). She says she's seeing a therapist and she recommends me to do the same. I saw one before but all I talked about was how the hell to get her out of my mind.

I know the most important thing for me right now is to get a job. I may sound pathetic but I've really got a lot going for me. I guess I need to realize it for myself.

I live in a fairly small beach community so this doesn't help my situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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I'm there with you, I just made my own lame post about wanting my ex back.


My ex who left me to be with someone else which ended not working out either.


I mean she blatently betrayed me to be with someone else, so why do I still want her back. It's stupid. I shouldn't trust her ever again.


I think about her a ton too.


I'm sorry you can still see her day to day, at least mine is in another country which makes it a lot easier.


I know that we both want what we can't have. I pin this on the "God's" sense of humor.


Why did you quit your good job? Was it because of the issue of who she cheated on you with?


I feel stupid for emailing my ex too... I don't even know what I want out of it.


I'm with you on the jealousy issue. I'm really stubborn and her leaving me was a huge blow to my ego.


And yep, the worst times are when I'm by myself with nothing to do. That's when the feelings start creeping in.


If you're up for it, go and pursue a new relationship. I don't know if I'm in the mood too right now. I believe it will help you get better 100x faster than just waiting it out (what I'm doing). Time does heal, but it's so slow.

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I'm one of those lucky guys that was bright enough to date someone they work with and the guy she cheated on me with was the new president of my company. Needless to say, this made for an uncomfortable situation. I met with him personally and sat accross from him and had to pretend I had no idea. After I got the severance package (given to several people) I sent him an email telling him the next time he screws around with someone that is attached, he might not be so lucky. It was immature but I couldn't stand the idea of him laughing at me thinking I didn't know. I'm a pretty big guy so I know scared the little weasel. On top of that my ex has the presense of mind to cheat on me with this guy who is married with two kids.

Just getting online with people and telling my story does seem to help. The proof will be in the pudding so to speak if by this time next week I will not have called her. I swear I fantasize about being strong enough to go even a week. My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so I'm kind of using that as a milestone of sorts. If I can make it to that, I think it will be a big step for me.

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Yeah, I was a bad person too and found through illicit means the email of the guy who she was going to be with.


I started handwriting a letter but a friend saw me and stopped me from making a fool of myself. I didn't send it.


Honestly though, in my situation, it wasn't the guy's fault at all. He probably had no idea that my ex was involved at the time.


But hey, karma came back around quick this time and he ended up breaking her heart and now she is fighting to get him back.


Telling people my story helped me a lot in the beginning/middle but now everyone is pretty much fed up with me and my lame stories of 7 months ago now. I think I'm still trying to play the pity card.

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These two were stupid enough to carry on this electronic tryst even though my job at my former company was to provide security for the computer systems. Talk about stupid. I got her back in a way when I hacked into his computer and found out that every time this guy travelled on business he was screwing around with prostitutes. It also didn't make her feel any better when I told her he was at least trying to screw around with several girls at work but she was the only one gullible enough to fall for him. After I found out she cheated I was very hurt and held no criticism back for her actions. I don't blame her for not wanting to speak to me after I said some of the things I've said. I always told her though, actions speak louder than words and her actions screamed in my ears and will resonate for a long time. I hope I can have a healthy trusting relationship again.

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