Confused, the Ex is initiating contact with ME, now?

[SooSad33]

I'm gonna give you all a run down for the last 3 months, focus and see IF you can pick up anything strange about this or is it me? (Because I'm confused..).

 

3 Months ago ( Last week of May)- I nailed my ex with fact he had another 'interest' which brought our LTR of 5 yrs to a halt, as I would go no further with that.

 

2 weeks later (June 10) I went NC but broke and contacted him via texts. He seemed fine with this, not annoyed and we went like that all week.

He called me on that Friday night and again the following Tuesday. He also came to see me Wednesday and again Sunday.

 

After that, (Last week of June), texting continued still and following week he went away on Holiday.

(first week of July).

During his week away and week following, I did not contact him at all again, so went NC, until middle of July (13th).

 

On Monday, (July 15th), he texted me and said 'he misses me too' and asked if he could call me, I said ok.

We didn't talk until he called me the Thursday. I missed it and he called me again that Friday morning, where we spoke for about 10 min's. During this time he offered to still help me out around the house and before we hung up, he said he 'still loves me'.

 

Weekend was quiet and then I noticed he'd called me again on Monday night (July 22nd). We didn't talk, nor did we talk all last week.

(Note: he has gotten a couple of emails from me throughout these weeks re: me working on leaving him alone, as he's moved on and I'm working on doing the same- so I won't bother him anymore).

 

Now- (this week)

HE texted me this time AND called me Monday night. We spoke for almost an hour, (tried some sexual talk mind you and I put a stop to that- reminding him that's NOT right, as he is NOT seeing ME anymore and he can go talk to 'HER' about stuff like that!).

Next day, Tuesday, he texted me again.. Asking what I'm up to etc. Again Wednesday morning and this morning.. so ALL this week I've heard from him, mostly by text but by HIS own Initiating.

 

I don't understand.. is this becoming like a weird turn-around

 

Could his 'fling' be getting 'questionable' now (it's been 3 months), where his 'honeymoon phase' may be coming to an end and he's looking my way again?

....or is this nothing to look at as strange??

 

Do I kinda brush him off and try to go with NC, again? he's just trying to 'friendzone' me?

I don't know? I'm confused with how and why he's now contacting me and regularly?

And yet, for weeks, he didn't do much of the 'contacting', it was more my doing.

I was working on going NC as much as I could though, then this... now he's doing it.

[sharky988]

NC means you don't contact him and you don't reply to his contact.

 

You block him on your phone and email. You block him on Facebook and all social media.

 

You create a safe protective bubble around yourself where he can't communicate with you and you gradually start to heal from the trauma of the breakup.

 

If you're going to stay in contact with your ex, you're going to have the kind of confusing thoughts and emotions you're dealing with now. He could be playing with you because he's bored. He could be looking for some no-strings sex. But what he's NOT doing is telling you this: I made a huge mistake and want to get back together.

 

Just saying.

[Misfortune]

But what he's NOT doing is telling you this: I made a huge mistake and want to get back together.

 

If they don't say that then there's no reason for conversation IMO. They're getting what they want(someone else or w/e makes them happy) and you're not happy. They're also getting more than what they want when you chat back; they're getting you for free.

 

If they don't commit, you must quit

[Kendahke]

He's contacting you because:

a. you let him

b. you haven't blocked access to him.

c. he's sneaking behind his girlfriend's back to do this.

 

the rest of what I could say was marvelously covered by Sharky.

[bwhite00]

If they don't say that then there's no reason for conversation IMO. They're getting what they want(someone else or w/e makes them happy) and you're not happy. They're also getting more than what they want when you chat back; they're getting you for free.

 

If they don't commit, you must quit

 

It's true. It can suck though. I did that with my ex and she dated someone for a year. She is now my girlfriend of 8 months but I had to break contact for a year straight.

[SooSad33]

Hmmm... wow So even though he's instigating these texts etc now doesn't necessarily mean he's 'more' into me now?

[mhowe]

He isn't instigating --- any less than you are. When you don't hear from him, you send emails --- saying you should be getting over him.

 

You are both playing the stay in contact game. Except he's winning --- because he also has a gf. And you are documenting when and how he calls, how many days it has been and the topic of the conversation.

 

If you can show how this is helping you or making you feel BETTER, have at it.

[Misfortune]

It's true. It can suck though. I did that with my ex and she dated someone for a year. She is now my girlfriend of 8 months but I had to break contact for a year straight.

 

Of course the same doesn't work for everyone. Is your relationship with her any better now?

[ChasingHope]

He was dishonest with you about her, and now the same thing is happening except reversed. He isn't interested in you insomuch as he just seems to be someone who needs a "backup" plan.

[Kendahke]

Hmmm... wow So even though he's instigating these texts etc now doesn't necessarily mean he's 'more' into me now?

 

No. It means he knows how to yank your chain.

[sharky988]

Hmmm... wow So even though he's instigating these texts etc now doesn't necessarily mean he's 'more' into me now?

 

If he was even REMOTELY into you he wouldn't be treating you so carelessly.

 

However, he might be *really* into the idea of possibly having meaningless sex with you at some future date.