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ChasingHope last won the day on September 23 2020

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  1. These threads/stories are very similar; I wonder if there if is some relation between the two?
  2. Your description of a 3 year old (which IS a toddler) as "clingy and dependent" is very similar to your own self-description as "very needy"; the only difference is that you are an adult (as I assume you are over 18) and this is a very young child. Because of this you may want to re-evaluate if you are ready for children of your own. Most (if not all) children require the majority of your attention and it doesn't seem you are ready to have someone compete with your own need for affection.
  3. I am sorry to hear this as I was hopeful this would end the way you wanted it to. But sadly, I have to agree with the others - she is letting you down easy because she cares about you as a friend and is a decent person. It's hard not to try to manipulate the narrative when it comes to matters of the heart, and it seems like you are looking for any glimmer of hope you can hang on to. Unfortunately, this will only serve to hurt you more in the long run, especially when she does meet someone she wants to build a romantic relationship with. As hard as it will be, you should separate yoursel
  4. I am going to assume you are still pretty young (given that you are living with your family) so it makes sense you would behave immaturely. But my personal belief is that if you are old enough to spend the night with someone you are intimate with, you are old enough to be accountable for your decisions and actions. Expecting him, or anyone for that matter, to run after you when you storm out of an argument is childish. It would be better to just stay home rather than put yourself into what you feel are unsafe situations. Also, if your parents have strict views on pre-marital sex and slee
  5. Great job, and PLEASE don't let extreme negativity and bitterness impact all the positive things you have done with your life.
  6. There could be many reasons for the lag in communication, but a pretty obvious one is that he is multi-dating and his attention was focused elsewhere. As far as the disclosures that involved his ex - while the stabbing story might raise some red flags, it seems like it was a pretty traumatic event in his life and perhaps he is struggling with knowing when/how to talk with a new person about it. As for the cat, it sounds like he was simply telling you where and how he came to own it. If he had said "I got it from a former friend who was unable to care for the animal" would you feel diffe
  7. First, I am really sorry about your illness. I hope being apart of this program is helping your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. My intent for this isn't to come across as harsh, but I think you are trying to create a love story in your head similar to the one you described in your post – the haughty young man who is actually kind and generous beneath the exterior of pride and the young woman who is prejudiced against him because of his arrogant demeanor fall in love and live happily ever after on their estate in the English countryside. However, what I actually see is a family
  8. ".....when we are all ready where we are at" seems like an attempt to manipulate yourself into thinking she is a co-conspirator in this when she is not. "Where she is at" is as a person going thru a breakup and is relying on friends to help her thru the breakup. Where you are at is trying to convince yourself that this is going to end the way you want it to if you just stick it out as her friend. The overall advice (and smartest advice) has been to come clean to her, and if she doesn't feel the same way you have to make the heartbreaking but self-empowering decision to move on, as diffi
  9. I feel for you - I know that when I have been unsure of someone's feelings for me I overanalyze every conversation, every action, even facial expressions for anything that would give me a glimmer of hope that that person reciprocated my feelings. Unfortunately, that approach hasn't been successful - only by making my feelings known have I gotten an answer. And I will also admit that I have tried to use the same tactics you referenced above, and I can assure you that in addition to never working, they also are obvious to the person(s) I have tried to use them on, and not only does it make m
  10. I will be honest, the first word that popped into my mind after reading this was "manipulation". My perception is that you want her to confess her feelings for you without you actually having to come out and tell her you want to date her. I'm also left wondering at the motivations behind a conversation about scaling back the friendship - being honest, is it more of a threat that you won't be there for her if she gets a boyfriend? Trying to get her to say she wants you in her life long-term feels like a passive-aggressive attempt to force her to convince you that you are as important to her a
  11. I feel for you, I really do. Being in a state of limbo with someone you have romantic feelings for is tough. My perception of your mind-set right now is "I want her in my life in any way, shape, or form, even if it means watching her fall in love with someone else" and while that may be feasible in this very moment, I think you are kidding yourself that this is a long-term solution. Based on your replies you seem very adverse to telling her how you feel and seeing if she feels the same way, and I assume it's because you are extremely scared of her response. But this situation will only ge
  12. Contrary to other posters attempting to insinuate that you are some sort of sexual predator who was lying in wait for her to return to her apartment so you could take advantage of her in her inebriated state, I don't see that at all. What is obvious is that you are two consenting adults who had too much to drink. However, what I think happened is that she got in waayyyy over her head and realized it as soon as she got you back to her apartment. She most likely started to regret inviting you there for sex and was hoping you might take a hint and make yourself scarce while she was at the ne
  13. Nope - it would successfully eliminate postings that are judgemental and aggressive. But seriously - why not just move on? The poster stated he doesn't find your advice helpful. Why not try find someone who is open to it?
  14. There is a blocking function that doesn't prohibit posters from continuing to comment on your posts, but by enabling it you will no longer see those posts.
  15. For a teenager, this is the equivalent of "Ding Dong Ditch" and this level of immaturity is expected from someone her age. However, the fact that you, as a grown man, are engaging with her is very disturbing. People in law enforcement would probably agree. Much like your other threads, you are desperately trying to create a story for yourself from this situation that your ex is still so in love with you that she hacks in to her daughter's Facebook to friend/unfriend you and is 'triggered' by a workout picture. The only proof that you offer that it is your ex is the fact that one of the u
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