Death won't come soon enough!

[Mastodon]

I really hate being "alive." I have completely isolated myself. I don't have a single friend, I haven't had one in years. I don't have a relationship with anyone in my family anymore.

Seriously, I'm in my 20's and I've never had a relationship with anyone- never even had my first kiss.

I hope, I wish, I pray to die every day and night; but I always wake up disappointed.

I hate myself, and in real life you would too. I don't have anything to live for except for death.

[KarenC]

I send you my prayers and many hugs because you are somebody so stay encouraged.

 

We all will face death one day in this life and it's nothing that we can do about it.

 

What is it about yourself that makes you feel unworthy because there's just so much more to life than thinking of death on a daily basis?

 

Make yourself look good and take the first step to restore you because people can really hurt us and break us but your mind must be above that.

 

People will disappoint you so you learn to rely on self.

 

Hugs

[chitown9]

I think this self-inflicted isolation is the cause of your feeling that your life is worthless. Maybe you need to revaulate your choice to live your life in isolation. Try getting out..baby steps. Only you can change your outlook on life. ....chi

[marebeth]

Hi Mastodon,

Your in a true rut. Full of sadness and despair. It sounds like your clueless to know how to change, maybe even to know what to change. I would begin by asking yourself a line of questions and based on the answers I would pursue some change and on a daily basis. I remember how I would force myself to do something outside of my comfort zone daily just so I could gain some social skills and self acceptance. I hated myself because all the people I thought loved me treated me as if I was worthless, even forgetting my birthday and such. What I learned about them is that they really just cared more for themselves or they really didn't know any different. They had their own personality disorders. I still have trouble with friendships but I am okay with that. I find it hard to trust people with my feelings but I try anyway. I keep in the back of my mind that there's no one that can love me as I am capable of loving myself and that I have value because my creator wants me here. I found my passion and got my life on the right tract after 49 years and you can too. Just ask yourself questions about yourself then always continue to do so. Start a friendship with yourself. Decide what you want out of your life then go for it. If you want to change a body part start a savings plan. If you want to live on a island find out more information on costs and such. If you want to make beds and clean rooms on a cruise ship get the information, but decide what you want out of life and move. If you don't ask the question the answer will always be no. Here is a beginning place to the questions to ask yourself:

The most happy time in my life was when_____

The most peaceful time in my life was when____

The last time someone tried to be friendly with me was when____

The last time I felt good about myself was when _____

The last time I was proud of myself was when____

You get the idea I hope.

Step out of that isolation comfort zone at least once weekly if not daily. Only by practice can we become who we are suppose to be. We are not an accident that landed on earth. It is by accident that we despise ourselves. We let others expectations define who we are and that's really not to our advantage. Be the you that you want to be. That is the only way to arrive at our final destination.

Best wishes!

[Mastodon]

Hi Mastodon,

The most happy time in my life was when_____

The most peaceful time in my life was when____

The last time someone tried to be friendly with me was when____

The last time I felt good about myself was when _____

The last time I was proud of myself was when____

You get the idea I hope.

Step out of that isolation comfort zone at least once weekly if not daily. Only by practice can we become who we are suppose to be. We are not an accident that landed on earth. It is by accident that we despise ourselves. We let others expectations define who we are and that's really not to our advantage. Be the you that you want to be. That is the only way to arrive at our final destination.

Best wishes!

 

I honestly can't answer those questions. I have lived inside my own head for so long, its so embarrassing.

 

I was listening when you all said to put myself out there. The only person that showed an interest in me and my life was a co-worker. I asked to see him outside of work and he said yes. But he never showed.

My life is just one disappointment after another, I just want it to end.

[runner4life]

I have been in ur shoes myself. The best way to meet new people is to do the things u enjoy doing. Find things u like to do, hiking, swimming, sports, art, ect. and u will meet other people who have similar interest. I also find its important to get outside everyday and exersize. When I was getting depressed after my bf left me and our daughter, I sat in the house alone for months and was getting to be in a dark place. One day I got up, went outside, and went for a walk. The next day I went for a run. And I felt GOOD!! Exhausted, tired, but good! So I started running every day, more and more until I got better at it. I always felt so much better after I got done. Day one I could barely do one block , now Im up to 6 miles. Its the one thing I do for myself everyday. I felt better, looked better, started finding a new interest in being healthy. I started getting there magazines and involved in 5k races and met new people. And always remember u are not alone, God is always with u.

[Mastodon]

Since no one in my real life cares, I feel like I really am a piece of crap. I never wanted to be like this, but I am. I hope you're right that God will see me thru.