Really difficult to explain...

[TheRealPsiPhi]

Okay, I've been dating this girl for 2 years. Recently she broke up with me. However, she is saying that she needs me. She cried to me on the phone because she was afraid of loosing me forever, but she said she doesn't love me like she used to. That she still loves me though. That she doesn't want to live her life without me. That she can't be happy without me. This sounds a lot like she wants to have her cake and eat it to. I don't know what to do really. I don't want to give in to her, but I love her and want her in my life. I'll try to explain it better when I get all the details.

[aelynnryelis of greensky]

it sounds to me like she just wants someone to lean on ....what i mean is that 2 years is a long time and she hasnt totaly detached from you yet. but its alsogood to stay friends. so i know that this sounds just as confusing as your question but i hope it helped a little

[Recovering_Lover]

Hey Psi,

 

My ex told me the same thing. Also she gave an excuse for break up. In my case, the real reason was, she wanted to be free to explore other relationships, but she enjoyed my company and everything she had with me...so she didn't wantto loose me, but afte a perioid of time, she found another guy and started to stop talking to me that much even as friends and as I tried to maintain a friendship with her, she told me to quits the friendship too.

 

So, my advivce is to be cautious and not open your heart easily, in my understanding some girls ( probably immature? not sure) tend to be very fickle in what they want.....and often in those times, they tend to put thier self interest first (maybe without realization or with ...I wouldn't know) so you gotta be careful and not get hurt along in he process.

 

When she start giving you mixed signals, its best to just remain indepedent and available....becoz. she might go either way. And also if you want to remain that way??

 

Some say that is calling she is not respecting you...becoz she is only looking out for hereself.....but Its all a matter of persepective.....how you look at it .

 

But hte key point here is , you must relaize she is fickle and she might say anything at any moment...and you should not depends on those words and actions......and sometimes..you won't know what she is doing...behhind your back....so its always best ot remain cautious..when they become fickle.

 

my two cents....

 

R.L.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I've been dating this girl for 2 years. Recently she broke up with me. However, she is saying that she needs me. She cried to me on the phone because she was afraid of loosing me forever, but she said she doesn't love me like she used to. That she still loves me though. That she doesn't want to live her life without me. That she can't be happy without me. This sounds a lot like she wants to have her cake and eat it to. I don't know what to do really. I don't want to give in to her, but I love her and want her in my life. I'll try to explain it better when I get all the details.

[Cadence308]

She sounds fickle and immature. She doesn't know what she wants. She wants to see if the pasture is greener elsewhere, but she doesn't want to lose you.

 

Start to have a life without her. She may come back to you, but I don't suggest waiting around for her. Detach a little from her. You should stay friends with her, if you can, but move on.

[mahlina]

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her "I care, but we can't keep in touch anymore. Maybe somewhere down along the line, we can. But not for now. If you care about me, then you will give me my space to move on."

 

If she respects you, and cares for you enough, then she should be mature enough to allow you your space to move on. Like Ballys said, she clearly knows what she wants, but she's just thinking about herself. It's not fair for her to keep you around, and toy with your emotions whenever she feels like it. She made the choice. She needs to deal with it.

 

Breakups are tough, but the pain is only temporary. You'll find someone better! Hang in there...

[TheRealPsiPhi]

"I care, but we can't keep in touch anymore. Maybe somewhere down along the line, we can. But not for now. If you care about me, then you will give me my space to move on."

 

 

More or less that is what I told her. Trust me, I know what is best for me right now, I'm just trying to get in her head. Understand what's going on. I already feel like she is being selfish. Anyway, I told her I needed space. She cried and said something around the lines of, "Refusing to loose me from her life." We talked for about another hour. We've come to the conclusion that she'll call me ONLY if she really needs me and only once a week. She said that I should call her if I need her too, but she isn't the person that I need right now. The way she explains her personal problems sounds like she is going through some form of a mid-life crisis. I think she is too young for that. She says she doesn't know what she wants out of life. So, I'm kinda waiting it out. I'm not really ready to start seeing other people yet, but I'm going to keep apart from her a little. Hang out with my boys more. And WoW comes out Tuesday to keep me busy. I'll update in a week or so.

[gersanos]

Cur her loose man. It's nothing but heartache. One of my X's wanted to stay close after our break-up. No way is that possible. It's not worth my time. I'll be just strung along with false hopes of getting back or something, and I'm pretty much giving her all the power.

 

You can tell her this nicely as was suggested. Wish her the best, let her go, and ask her to do the same with you. My X has not contacted me ever since. Could be she's respecting my requests, or, more likely, she doesn't really care.

 

And you'll only be her friend until she meets some other guy, then you won't hear from her more than likely. She's not worth it.