loosing my best friend because im to angry

[keeptrying]

Holding me in his arms he told me it was really over, i told him i really wanted to marry him, to have kids with him and to spend my life with him and then we cried sobbed and whined to one another about how it was never going to happen. After 6 short years living together, eating together, watching tv together, sleeping next to eachother, confiding in one another, being eachothers best friend- it really comes to an end. My mind is blank and my body refuses to feel anything but hurt. Sleeping in separate bedrooms for months now, fighting everyday for years now, trying to hard to make eachother understand the others point of view, trying to hard to get it right, resentment, hate,anger-its all built up to this moment. The moment we decide its time to part.

 

We tried to hard to make sense of eachother, we tried so so hard to understand were we were going wrong and now we have given up. He told me its my fault, that im an angry person. I wish he wasnt right but he is- i am angry, so so angry. Him smoking weed everyday, how he never had goals, how he watched t.v every second of the day, telling me its stupid to always keep a clean house, how he always has to be right, how we cant disagree without it turning into a huge argument. Yep hes right im angry at him and i hate myself for it but its true i resent him for all those things and resentment turned into a deep anger which eventually killed my love for him and turned it into hate. I became so frustrated trying to explain to him his lifestyle wasnt productive, so annoyed at him constantly telling me he would quit using drugs, that hed get a job. I never considered he may just leave me so imagine how stupid i feel now. Theres no point anymore on trying to figure out what i could of done differently or what i should of said better because its over. I dont want to be angry anymore, i dont want to hate or resent anymore- i just want the last 6 years of my life to disappear from my mind. i hope this gets easier because it is agony, absolutely unbearable. I cant believe im going to loose my best friend, my very very best friend.

[DN]

Most people do what they want to do, not what other people want them to do - it's no use getting angry about it, all you can do is try to find someone who has the same goals as you.

[loosingit]

My partner rarley cleans i have accepted that its my duty to clean up after him if i want to enjoy a clean house. Its hard not to resent certain things but try to save it for some more serious matters. The weed thing it could be worse. When he starts doing so much coke that his nose bleeds when he talks then worry. Smoking weed is no excuse to be lazy tho. Maybe get him to go somewhere like a hike to a really cook scene and smoke it there. He gets exercise you get to hang out, it will destress and he gets his precious weed. If you like to drink maybe bring some wine along or something for your vice. And if you dont have a vice good for you. Hope you can relax more. Resentment sucks for everybody

 

Cheers

[pl3asehelp]

Sounds like a total loser. Would make any normal person angry. Get with a guy with his stuff together and you won't. E angry.