Things dont feel over...

[pandorasbox1]

I called him today. Its been nearly 7 weeks since the breakup and 2 weeks since I said I couldnt do the friends thing.

 

I messaged him on Saturday after 8 days NC and said "hey, hope youre doing well". He never replied until 20 hours later (yesterday, Sunday). He said "Im well thanks, hope you are too". I just said "Im glad".

 

I called him today... despite debating whether it was a good idea or not with myself for a good long while. I did it anyway.

He seemed to be as hurt as I was trying to deal with the whole moving on thing. He admitted it was hard but that he was just going through the motions everyday. He said he has no choice but to be okay.

I told him again I wanted him, and he said that we already tried numerous times and its not like we simply gave up.

He said he would rather have things end this way, where we dont hate eachother. He told me he understood why I had to walk away and that he holds nothing against me

He said he still cares about me and thinks about me from time to time and that Im not someone he would easily forget.

 

He made me feel better... Tried to encourage me not to be so negative. He told me that when I feel like Im falling apart, I should think of it as me just re-organizing myself.

 

I asked if he saw a future for us, he said "Im not sure I even see a future for myself right now"

 

I told him he is a great person and I dont want to lose that forever. He said he hasnt and doesnt intend to write me off completely but that we need some distance between us.

 

I told him I agree, that neither one of us will change if we dont go our separate ways for a while.

 

I can tell he still loves me and maybe in the future wants to be with me, but I dont think either of us are in a place right now to have a relationship with eachother. He is clearly not interested in letting me go forever. It seems to me that one day when we reconnect, we may have a relationship again, but I dont want to hold onto that hope.

 

This is all starting to feel like a case of bad timing... Im glad that we were able to leave things on good terms.

 

What do you guys think? Do you think there is a hope in the distant future? I agree with him that we both need to focus on ourselves for a while. So its not even that I want him back now... but eventually I see us ending up together. I know I sound naive... but we are both really interested in seeing if there can be a friendship somewhere down the line.

He is not dating, and he probably wont for a long time. Im not interested in dating for a while either. I know that will probably affect the friendship.... Ugh... Im so confused. I just dont want to hang onto the hope of being with him again.

 

also, why is it all my ex's are either married or engage? I feel so unlucky starting to doubt I'll ever find that one guy who will want to commit to me like that.

[mhowe]

The future holds...what the future holds. He cares for you --- as you care for him. But he is right when he said you both tried numerous times and could not make it work. So --- you go your separate ways and move forward in your life. Perhaps your paths will cross again.

[pandorasbox1]

yeah, I suppose thats all I can hope for, that our paths will cross again in one way or another. Im going to put this all in fates hands. Its time I start enjoying the journey and realize that everything happens for a reason. I guess this is a step I have to go through before I end up with Mr Right, whoever he may be

[surfjon]

Raine,

Hang in there and just don't try anymore, you've left things in his court, so do your thing and maybe he makes an attempt....

But you may be too far gone to care.

 

I haven't seen my ex in 3 weeks, she's sent some mundane texts, but I don't respond...

I do have to see her today to get my mattress back, but I feel pretty good about it, I heard she looks like hell.....

binge drinkin and falling down.....glad I'm out!

[lizardking999]

I think you're overanalyzing this, Raine. He's letting you down easy. Don't wait till he has to let you down hard. You know and I know he doesn't want to be with you, whatever BS reasons he has about being confused. Please let it go. You have so much to look forward to at your age. I wish I could start over from 21, how much easier (AND FUN!) this all would be.

 

Jon, dude, you can't get a new mattress? lol

[surfjon]

Liz! Hey man, it's like a 1k memory foam that I do want back, I don't mind seeing her...

I'll be there with a buddy anyway so he's got my back!

[pandorasbox1]

Thanks guys. You are always so loyal to my posts big hugs!

[Picara]

Agree with the others. Sometimes things get rocky and people try different approaches to make it work while still in the relationship, but it's really hard to change the dynamics when you both are pretty much reacting to the same triggers. I do think that separating helps a lot with becoming un-stuck, get some perspective and learn how to do things better with relationships in general. And if your paths cross again down the road, you already know what doesn't work with this person and you're in a much better position to do things differently. Either that or you're not particularly bothered anymore or have met someone else. Healthy, in any case.

[todayisrough]

It seems like does care for you but you need to let it go. He is letting you and himself down easy by feeding you every breakup line in the book! He sounds like a nice guy but I think he should know that you need space and not play Mr. Nice Guy! You're obviously having problems staying NC and maybe he should stop responding since he is the one who left. I know it's hard losing someone but all your messaging and calls are doing is prolonging heartbreak... I hope you found the closure you needed in that last call! Stay strong! We are all here for each other!