Picara

4 days after the break up, you just texted me saying 'hey, I wanted to give you as much space as you need so I hope I'm not intruding, but I really hope you're okay x'. Well, no, I'm f***ing not. I know you're not a bad guy, I know you still care, I know you feel guilty and I know you're probably noticing the absence of contact after a few days as well, but being reminded of you doesn't help me right now. I agree with the break up but I'm struggling with going to work and it still sucks, it will for a while. So, I'm not going to respond, but if you really need to know, I'm working on it, thanks for your concern. Man, I almost had your texts below the line of my phone's screen by now. And I'm not going to be your crutch, because I love you, but I love myself more.

A good friend of mine dated this guy for 9-10 months. He was an ***hole to her, blew her off constantly, ignored her, got pissed off about everything she did and made a scene, he drank a lot, etc. She had enough and they split up. Didn't talk for a couple of months, started talking again every now and then, and finally met up a couple of times and slept together. They ended up getting back together about 5 months after the break up, even if she was aware that everyone around her thought it was a mistake. They've been together for about 1.5 years now and moved in together 1 year ago. She told me that a few months after getting back together, he told her he had bad abandonment issues because his parents left the UK and moved away when he was 15 (he stayed with his grandmother), and a previous break up had left him in a very bad state. When he met her, he kept her at arm's lenght and treated her badly because in his head he "knew" that she would leave him too, so he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible. I guess he thought about his issues and has been working on resolving them during the break up and after getting back with her. So, it worked in this case, but she has some issues too (hasn't been single for about 10 years, gets very attached even when the relationship is dysfunctional, etc.) so that might have contributed to them getting back together. I think a more emotionally healthy person would have walked away from a guy like this and never looked back, and if he had been healthier himself, he might have had some trouble with the side of her that gets overly attached in a very short time. They seem pretty happy now though, and I really hope it lasts!