How To Take Things Slow

[anon728]

I've been chatting with this girl for a couple of weeks. We went out for drinks once and are going out again this week. I was in a LTR for 2.5 years that ended five months ago. I spent my time grieving, bettering myself, and can honestly say that I am not pinning for my ex back. In fact, I am very excited about the new girl.

 

She was in short but serious relationship that ended a month ago. There is no chance for a reconciliation on her part (or my part for that matter).

 

However, I do want to take it slow. She has in no way pressured me to move fast (we are both in our late twenties and have each had multiple relationships).

 

For the women out there, what could I say that would make her respect my decision to take things slow. I don't want her to think that it is because of my ex, because it isn't, but rather, I have usually jumped right into serious dating in the past, and it hasn't worked, so I wanted to try a different approach (like, actually becoming good friends before getting too intimate).

[EnolWolf]

You're doing the exact same thing as me right now.

 

I've been friends with my new girl for about 3 months now. I'm ready to ask her out, but haven't got around to it yet. I'm making sure the friendship is stable. I told her that straight up and she understands it.

 

My main goal was not ruining our friendship.

[RayKay]

Just be honest and upfront with her about wanting to take your time.

 

Tell her about your past tendency to rush, with disastrous endings, and that you are ready to do something right for once...and while it is hard to slow down how things are going, you are trying to think of the best for whatever you are building together.

 

She should understand, and even feel good that you see this is as something that could be good.

 

I am in a similar position as you, and had same talk with "my new interest" the other day as we both have a history of rushing and burning out...and want to let things progress over time now...I am hoping it is worth it!

[Scout]

Make sure she understands what you mean by taking things slow. It's a rather general/vague expression and could mean many different things. For example, do you mean the amount of time you see each other, how far you go physically...what?