My cousin is the weakest link? Why?

[Not a rookie]

I've recently posted about a cousin who has incredibly greedy parents and now this thread is about another cousin.

My other female cousin gets no respect from other people. Let me explain.

He parents still treat her like a little child.

They do not consult her for advice and only see her as a bank account. They think she is their optional cash pool.

They also think she owes them money cause they put her through private middle and high school.

Her mother acts like a diva. She is my aunt but not blood related since she married my uncle.

Her parents do not respect her ideas or her personality.

She started to live with her parents again after she was 35 cause she got divorced.

Her husband was really mad that she could not get a job and was treating her like a maid.

He would ask her to clean their apartment after the cleaning lady left. He would insult and curse her about household chores.

Her husband was somewhat like her mom.

Her mom almost never does housework cause she thinks she is really special and gives the chores to other people.

Her mom is also never satisfied with the housework done by other people, she always complains.

I've told her that maybe she should hire a maid for her mom. She said her mom does not want a maid, she wants her to do the housework.

I think the reason why she gets the wrong end of the stick has something to do with the fact that she tolerates people who disrespect her.

I am sort of surprised that the attitude of her mom and her (ex)husband were so much alike. But she confessed to me that she also had other boyfriends who also wanted her to act like their maid. Like she confessed that some of her boyfriends and her ex husband would leave trash lying around in the house for her to pick up. Surprisingly her mom did the same. Her mom would wipe her nose and leave the tissues on the dining table etc.

I feel she needs to move away from all these people and have LC or NC to them. She is not getting any respect from them. I also feel she should set better boundaries.

What do you guys say? Do you know of women or men who have a similar story?

[agent1607307371]

Insults are never called for, but if she wasn't working, then keeping the house clean is a reasonable ask. If she's still not working, and is living with her family, then housework is entirely reasonable.

 

You're right, she does need to move out, and she does need to set better boundaries, but she also needs to look at herself. She has an obviously expensive education, why is she unable to get work?

[Not a rookie]

Insults are never called for, but if she wasn't working, then keeping the house clean is a reasonable ask. If she's still not working, and is living with her family, then housework is entirely reasonable.

 

You're right, she does need to move out, and she does need to set better boundaries, but she also needs to look at herself. She has an obviously expensive education, why is she unable to get work?

 

Ok cleaning the house is reasonable to ask but her husband/her mom intentionally leaving litter all over the place for her to pick up is ok too?

I don't know I regardless whoever I lived with I never left dirty handkerchiefs or trash lying around cause I thought someone else should be picking that up. I mean people I am living with are not my laundry service or my maid. Do you know where I am coming from? Like she can vacuum the house, remove dust etc. but intentionally throwing things on the floor expecting her to pick up trash from the floors is a bit extreme. There are things called garbage bins you know.

 

She had to move to another country to live with her husband. Before she got married she was working, she actually started working really young like me, so she has been working full time for over 10 years. She just could not find a job in his home country after they got married.

 

What do you mean when you say she needs to look at herself?