Mixed signals and... rejection?

[pandorasbox1]

So its now day 23 of the breakup. I posted something a few days ago which will help keep you up to date

 

Since I saw last Saturday I was feeling soooo much better. I told him I may need time but I really havent. I feel like part of me is moving on with my life. So Sunday I sent him a short and sweet message saying that I really couldnt stop thinking of him and that I hoped he was having a good day. He responded similarly and we texted a bit later that evening. He said he thought the message was sweet and he was somewhat reciprocating my flirtatious jokes.

 

Monday we had no contact. Tuesday I saw a status of his which seemed ominous and seemed to be referring to me so I called him and asked him what was wrong. He sounded fine over the phone and reassured me it was nothing to do with me. I said okay and ended the phone conversation. 30 minutes later he calls me and we proceed to catch up for 20 minutes over the phone.

 

Yesterday (Wednesday), I made no contact with him. Later in the evening he sent me 3 emoticons over text which he told me on Saturday that he would do from time to time to let me know he was thinking of me. I responded back with 3 emoticons thinking that was our contact for the day. He then proceeded to message me, wanting to chat. I chatted a while until he rejected one of my flirtatious comments, which he had been doing since Monday. He either ignores what I sent him or completely brushes it off with an "okay" or "thanks". I feel totally and utterly rejected and confused. I decided to end the text conversation and he seemed to get pissed at me. I called him asking him if he was upset and he sounded okay. I said goodnight and ended the call. He messaged me again straight after saying "Thanks for the call to which I never responded.

 

This man told me not even a week ago that he was sure he wanted to be with me in the future but that we needed to find out who we are outside of the relationship. I dont disagree with this. However, I feel like his words and actions are at odds with one another. If he wants to be with me, why not act like it?. Why cant he flirt back? He makes contact with me, clearly wanting to speak to me, but doesnt show me he's romantically interested. Am I interpreting this all wrong?

 

I really dont know whats going on... If any one could provide any insight I would appreciate it. Im not sure whether I should confront him about this or leave it alone and give him the same treatment?... If things carry on this way Im afraid I may lose interest completely and look for someone who wants to romance me and show me he wants to be with me. We never really spoke about his faults in the relationship and what he did to make me unhappy... So should we?

[sharky988]

He broke up with you. That's a pretty clear message.

 

What you've been doing is continuing to contact him and reading his Facebook page as if you were still his girlfriend -- but ignoring the breakup isn't going to make it go away. I'd advise stopping all this and either asking him flat out what his intentions are, or walking away.

 

The alternative is to ride this out and just deal with the confusion and see how it goes -- but don't turn around and blame him for creating it if it doesn't go your way, because you're still communicating with him and keeping all this contact going!

[pandorasbox1]

I should have clarified, We are both off facebook, I saw his messenger status.

 

The thing is its so complicated... He calls it breakup but so many people say it sounds like its just a break. I did ask him flat out on Saturday, and as the previous post says, He is sure he wants to be with me and only me, he is not looking for anything else nor is he interested in doing so. He wants a future with me.

 

I never initiate contact other than those two days this week...

[ExcitedtoSleep]

He is sure he wants to be with me and only me, he is not looking for anything else nor is he interested in doing so. He wants a future with me.

 

This may or may not be true.

 

I cannot understand why he would go about dealing with you getting close by breaking up.

 

And if he is not truly done with you, then why does him wanting space hurt you so much.

 

I think you need some time to absorb the reality of the situation.

[sharky988]

It sounds like he's singing the song many dumpers rely on when they want to keep you as a possible backup in case they don't meet anyone else.

 

He's giving you just enough to keep you from moving on without actually committing to anything.

 

You deserve better! If he REALLY wanted to be with you forever, he wouldn't risk losing you to someone else while he goes off to "find himself."

[pandorasbox1]

I realize what you are all saying and I did some thinking this afternoon... Im angry at him and most of all im angry at myself... I cant carry on this way, in this limbo state. I cant keep making excuses for him. Either he wants me or he doesnt and right now his actions are showing me that he couldnt be all that concerned about me. At the end of the day this whole thing will not work in his favour. I deserve better... I deserve someone who KNOWS that no matter what happens, they want to be with me and work it out.

 

Im in a world of hurt right now and I feel as though im back to square one.

 

Thanks for all your honest advice

[pandorasbox1]

at this moment im not really sure I want this anymore...

[mhowe]

It isn't limbo. He broke up with you and you are staying in contact with him, texting him, calling him because of something he posted. You are not his gf anymore.

 

You are back to square one because you never accepted it was over in the first place.