Jump to content

and she contacts me.... AGAIN

blacklantana

Recommended Posts

blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
Posted

Yeah, she's at it again. Relative to the music again, as from my most recent thread:

 

She just text me saying "Are you open to criticism for your music or no"

 

I haven't responded, nor am I planning to. But one part of me is curious because I'm always open to criticism and what I can improve, evolve and/or change completely. 99% of me is saying don't respond, move on, she's your ex, she wasn't good to you in the most recent times either. 1% is saying, I'm curious to what she is going to critique because I want to improve as an artist, for MYSELF.

 

But then again, why do I value her opinion so much... Another part of me is saying she just wants an excuse to talk to me. What shall I do?

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Don't break no contact.

 

It sounds like she want's an excuse to open the doors of communication more than anything else. Don't let her back in.

 

I figured this was the case... I won't respond! And I'm sure she will comment about how I'm ignoring her, etc...

 

Ignore her. You really don't need her critique. As Sapphire said, this is just a conversation starter to gain contact with you.

 

Agreed... I just know if I ignore her, she will pester me even more

 

For the love of God, don't answer her.

 

She really is a head case, what kind of critique can she offer? NONE. She's just checking to make sure she can still get a rise out of you. ](*,)

 

lol, I like that guy hitting his head against the bricks! LOL

 

And yeah, I don't know about the critique. But I do know many people I've talked to have said they like my music, but I haven't necessarily received a critique yet, so that's why I was curious. Even though this past saturday (refer to my other thread) she messaged me saying how much she liked my music. Now she wants to critique it I guess?

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The above quote is from your last thread.

 

You have to stop fooling yourself into thinking, "this time will be different."

 

Agreed... I don't know why I keep doing that! No more. I'm not going to respond... Thanks again

 

If she pesters you block her, change your number, change your email address, there are things you can do to ensure she doesn't contact you.

 

Agreed... I still need to call AT&T to see if they can block her number

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I hope you do because she seems to be harrassing you. If you don't take the necessary steps then I have to believe that you actually enjoy her contacting you as an ego boost disguised as annoyance.

 

I can care less about my ego right now.. I am seriously just trying to heal. Any "hope" or trying to "trick myself" into believing this might be different isn't due to an ego boost, but more so because I'm still hurt and can't let go of her. As in, a part of me still wants to keep some contact with her.

 

Even if it was true that she thinks about me a lot, or is contacting me just because, I don't see how someone (in my position) could get gratification out of that. I can care less if she has genuinely moved on from me or not, because the damage is done. I know I could never trust her again, and even if she isn't over me, so what? What does that prove? Nothing... Because she is and will remain with her current boyfriend that she lied to me about for a month before we broke up.

 

Sorry, just vented a little bit, lol. But I think I needed to, and realized even more than before, that I need to just not respond and move on. Thanks for your reply, something lit up a spark in me haha

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Sounds like somewhere in there, you still want her. Otherwise you wouldn't value her opinion so much

 

Yeah, for sure. A part of me does wish things were different and that we could have stayed together and worked on things, but that didn't happen. And I only value her opinion because I know she has always been honest when it comes to my music. When she likes a song, she tells me. When she doesn't, she tells me as well. Most of my friends or other people just say the typical "It's good... good job!" And if I ask for any criticism, it's rarely given. People are scared to offend me or "put me down" and I completely understand that.

Link to comment
squirl Contributor

squirl

Posted
Posted

Send some sort of a group email to a mailing list (can be Bcc with a response of where on the internet, facebook, or myspace that she and other fans can post comments about their favorite songs of yours.

 

Always reply as a group email to these kinds of things where the ex is using some pretext to stay in touch but you don't want to ignore them outright.

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Send some sort of a group email to a mailing list (can be Bcc with a response of where on the internet, facebook, or myspace that she and other fans can post comments about their favorite songs of yours.

 

Always reply as a group email to these kinds of things where the ex is using some pretext to stay in touch but you don't want to ignore them outright.

 

Most people say to ignore outright, some people say don't. I think the best thing for me to HEAL completely would be to go no contact and ignore outright, if that makes sense?

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted

She texted me around 10 times last night, then called me twice. I didn't answer any texts nor did I pick up the phone. Then she just texted me again this morning asking me to just talk to her and not be "immature" about this. That if I want her to leave me alone, she will, but she just doesn't like being left in the dark and being "ignored". She's acting.... ridiculous?

Link to comment
Huntress0527 Rising Star

Huntress0527

Posted
Posted
She texted me around 10 times last night, then called me twice. I didn't answer any texts nor did I pick up the phone. Then she just texted me again this morning asking me to just talk to her and not be "immature" about this. That if I want her to leave me alone, she will, but she just doesn't like being left in the dark and being "ignored". She's acting.... ridiculous?

 

I would call AT&T today and either get her number blocked or change the number.

 

She's going to keep trying to contact you until you break and cave in.

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I would call AT&T today and either get her number blocked or change the number.

 

She's going to keep trying to contact you until you break and cave in.

 

I won't cave in. I won't break. I usually would have broken by now and/or definitely would have answered her calls, but I did not. I have not and cannot. If this continues to go on for another day or so, should I tell her to stop, or just change my number? Because eventually, she will show up at my house. She's THAT persistent

Link to comment
Huntress0527 Rising Star

Huntress0527

Posted
Posted
I won't cave in. I won't break. I usually would have broken by now and/or definitely would have answered her calls, but I did not. I have not and cannot. If this continues to go on for another day or so, should I tell her to stop, or just change my number? Because eventually, she will show up at my house. She's THAT persistent

 

Then you file a restraining order. Seriously, if she is stalking and harrassing you then you gotta do what you have to do.

 

I would tell her to stop contacting you and if she doesn't then you'll be forced to take action.

Link to comment
tryharder83 Apprentice

tryharder83

Posted
Posted

you have the upper hand now.. not with your ego but with you're healing.

 

the moment she takes that away by being at the end of that communication she's trying so hard to penetrate. it'll be a diff story for you, not in a good way.

 

look at what she's doing?? she cant let go of that power she know she has of you.. and her pushing this hard is looking for validation of that power.

 

she's one sad, selfish person.

 

keep it up OP. im rooting for you. i hope you get through this. think of your heart its begging you to stand up for your healing, asking you to take care of you, now and not anymore time later.

Link to comment
gardnergirl2 Enthusiast

gardnergirl2

Posted
Posted

She broke up with you, right? I am not sure of your story. I know persistent people hate being ignored (yes, I can be persistent), and not knowing what has happened, I am not sure who dumped who. I guess you could tell her hey...you dumped me. if you want to talk about immature, let's discuss cheating....but, if she was the dumper especially and cheated, block her. It's for your best.

Link to comment
blacklantana Enthusiast

blacklantana

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Then you file a restraining order. Seriously, if she is stalking and harrassing you then you gotta do what you have to do.

 

I would tell her to stop contacting you and if she doesn't then you'll be forced to take action.

 

Oh dear, I hope it doesn't come to that. A restraining order? She would ape sh*t.... But yeah, as of now, she's harassing me. It's been 1 day.. but if it continues, I might have her blocked by my carrier and/or just tell her to stop contacting me.

 

you have the upper hand now.. not with your ego but with you're healing.

 

the moment she takes that away by being at the end of that communication she's trying so hard to penetrate. it'll be a diff story for you, not in a good way.

 

look at what she's doing?? she cant let go of that power she know she has of you.. and her pushing this hard is looking for validation of that power.

 

she's one sad, selfish person.

 

keep it up OP. im rooting for you. i hope you get through this. think of your heart its begging you to stand up for your healing, asking you to take care of you, now and not anymore time later.

 

Yeah, supposedly it was just supposed to be for my music and how she wants to critique it and give me this "insight", that supposedly is good enough to text harass me and call me. I don't know if I should actually respond to her and tell her to stop contacting me, or if I should just ignore.

 

She broke up with you, right? I am not sure of your story. I know persistent people hate being ignored (yes, I can be persistent), and not knowing what has happened, I am not sure who dumped who. I guess you could tell her hey...you dumped me. if you want to talk about immature, let's discuss cheating....but, if she was the dumper especially and cheated, block her. It's for your best.

 

She strung me along for the last 2 months of us dating (she even admitted to this a week or so ago) and she lied about the guy she was talking to behind my back. She lied about other things as well, and after we stop talking in January, she had a boyfriend a few weeks later. I'll never forgive her nor trust her for long time, and I don't even plan on it.

 

But yes, she broke up with me. She broke up with me because I supposedly had an "anger" problem...

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...