Blue Spiral Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Yea I agree, the funny thing is he only started acting this way a couple of days ago. Before this it was constant contact, all our dates were a Saturday night, etc. Oh well guess he just lost interest. Something definitely happened to cause him to move you down a notch. Maybe you exhibited some personality trait that he doesn't like (not to say that the trait is necessarily bad, but we all have our likes and dislikes), maybe something else in his life took priority (work, family stuff, etc.), or maybe he found someone he was more attracted to, but is trying to keep you as an option. Being a cynic, I'd tend to go for #3. I personally think that it's easier for men to go from completely hot to completely cold, as our source of attraction is generally less intellectual. Whereas a connection that's relationship/personality-based is harder to damage. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 He actually just texted me with a simple "hey" I replied "hi" he asked me how my weekend was I replied "pretty good, yours?" He replied "exhausting lol" and I just left it at that. I think I'm just put off by not hearing from him all weekend, I mean no matter how busy your weekend is I'm sure you can spare one minute to write a simpe text. You can if you are in a relationship, but you certainly don't think about it if you are dating lady #2....then lady #1 can wait until Monday to find out how her weekend was..... You seem to imbue his communication w/ someone who has been in your life much more than 3 dates. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 You seem to imbue his communication w/ someone who has been in your life much more than 3 dates. Only because he was contacting me everyday, which I admit he didn't have to do, but he did and I got used to it. So when i didnt hear from him the whole weekend it's kinda hard to come back from that. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Something definitely happened to cause him to move you down a notch. Maybe you exhibited some personality trait that he doesn't like (not to say that the trait is necessarily bad, but we all have our likes and dislikes), maybe something else in his life took priority (work, family stuff, etc.), or maybe he found someone he was more attracted to, but is trying to keep you as an option. Being a cynic, I'd tend to go for #3. I personally think that it's easier for men to go from completely hot to completely cold, as our source of attraction is generally less intellectual. Whereas a connection that's relationship/personality-based is harder to damage. He did have a big test and interview Friday that he was studying for, but it was over with by the weekend so it's not really an excuse. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 He had a date/dates on the weekend....you are clearly not the only person in his life --- and after 3 dates, don't really have the right to expect that. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Whereas a connection that's relationship/personality-based is harder to damage. I also don't think our personalities completely clicked. I never felt like had a great connection with him (but was hoping if I gave it time it would grow). It was definitely more of a physical attraction and the enjoyment of the attention he was giving me rather than anything else on my part at least. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 He had a date/dates on the weekend....you are clearly not the only person in his life --- and after 3 dates, don't really have the right to expect that. Your right don't, I don't expect that but I'm also not going to stick around if someone is losing interest in me. Whether he had a date this weekend or not I don't know. He did tell me the previous Saturday that he had a company picnic this sat, but he just mentioned it in passing and never brought it up again, so who knows if it was true or a cover for another girl. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 For someone who keeps saying she "doesn't care"...you certainly seem to... And he hasn't texted in 2 days....but you are not in a relationship. You are dating -- or, according to you, not. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Well just spoke to the mutual friend who set us up, and she basically implied that there's a strong suspicion he started speaking to his ex-girlfriend again (apparently they broke up less than a year ago). So that sort of explains everything. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Well just spoke to the mutual friend who set us up, and she basically implied that there's a strong suspicion he started speaking to his ex-girlfriend again (apparently they broke up less than a year ago). So that sort of explains everything. This is unfortunately a common reason why guys suddenly lose interest and go quiet, its happened to me many time before for this reason. Move on and be gratefull that he didnt carry on seeing you whilst possibly re-connecting with his ex. Did you meet online by any chance? i have found a lot of guys sign upto websites when on the rebound and there is usually an ex lurking in the back ground somewhere. Also if they wre on a 'break' or just arguing with their girlfriend and want some other female attention. I am beginning to really despise dating sites for this reason. Its not fair on those generally looking to meet someone long term. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 This is unfortunately a common reason why guys suddenly lose interest and go quiet, its happened to me many time before for this reason. Move on and be gratefull that he didnt carry on seeing you whilst possibly re-connecting with his ex. Did you meet online by any chance? i have found a lot of guys sign upto websites when on the rebound and there is usually an ex lurking in the back ground somewhere. Also if they wre on a 'break' or just arguing with their girlfriend and want some other female attention. I am beginning to really despise dating sites for this reason. Its not fair on those generally looking to meet someone long term. We didn't meet online, we were actually set up by our close mutual friends. Actually he's the one who was asking them to set me up with him (we had met once about 8 years ago at our friends' bbq, but he was there with a girlfriend, and I didn't even look at him like that). Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Ah yeah sorry i forgot you said a friend set you up. That would annoy me even more about the situation the fact that HE asked the friend to set u up! Well him and his ex broke up for a reason and even if they get back together chances are it wont work out. If this is the case be warned that hemay try and get back in touch in the future. Don't let him pick u up and drop you when he feels like it! Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Ah yeah sorry i forgot you said a friend set you up. That would annoy me even more about the situation the fact that HE asked the friend to set u up! Well him and his ex broke up for a reason and even if they get back together chances are it wont work out. If this is the case be warned that hemay try and get back in touch in the future. Don't let him pick u up and drop you when he feels like it! Well apparently they dated in high school (12 years ago) but then he was shipped out (he joined the marines) and they broke up. I believe they got back together within the past two years (dont know exactly when) then they broke up less than a year ago. I mean I hope it works out for them, personally I don't think I'd get back with someone after two break ups, but that's none of my business. As for him getting in touch in the future if they do break up, I wouldn't put it past him, since he texted me last night, after they've already been talking (and most proabably seen each other this past weekend). If they do break up, hopefully by that time I'll be dating someone else Link to comment
rocko123 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Personally, I think overcommunication via text at the beginning of a relationship is a bad sign. You don't know the person so it's basically fluffy small talk. Getting to know someone is a long process and can't be forced into a tight little box. In this case, if he was texting a lot and then it dropped off, I'd agree with everybody here that said that he's probably just lost interest but is keeping his options open. If you want to know or care about where you stand with him, just ask him straight out, "Where are you at with dating right now? What are your hopes and expectations?" If his answer doesn't align with your's, there's your chance to be direct w/ him that it's not going to work and break contact. But that's a personal preference thing. I'm the type that likes to close things out so I do this. Other people just let the communication peter out and that seems to work for them. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I actually might find out lol, we met through very close mutual friends...but I'm pretty much over it, I was just a bit irritated at the whole pitty text thing. Also he was not guy I was considering for long term, he was just fun and good for now. Maybe he felt the same way...who knows If you were not into him he sensed it and bailed. Nothing to do with pity. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 If you were not into him he sensed it and bailed. Nothing to do with pity. She was into him. She wouldnt have made this post if she wasnt. Come on dont blame the victim in this. He flaked out on her! She deserves better. Link to comment
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