neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My ex text me saying she wants me to be apart of her sons life and that shes happy I still think of him and everything. She also said that he always looked right to me and never held back and was always himself around me. She thinks its not fair that through everything her son had to lose me.. then said you know what I mean.*It hurts me because this is what she wanted she didnt want to be with she broke up with me she hung out with her exes and things like that. I didnt get mad. Right after we broke up she was already spending a night with a guy in the city. I couldnt even spend a whole day with her or a night. She always had an excuse or I was shut down when I wanted to spend time with her. I never got upset about it. Just took what i got. Even tho we live about two hours away from each other. It was just nice to spend time together when we could I didnt want to lose her or her son. They both meant a lot to me, especially her son.**I was always there for her through everything never turned her away or did anything to hurt her.Anyway im just wondering what shes tryn to do. I miss her son and gotta admit I miss her too. But I don't want to put myself out there again and get hurt by all her games and bs. Im just confused about what she wants from me. Shes texts me saying her son asks about me or he mentioned me. Things like that.. idk It hurts me cause makes me feel like I left him**when I didnt.. help lol Link to comment
Ne Moe Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Personally I tried to keep the relationship between my ex and my daughter going. I had been with him since she was a baby and we were together 6 years. She was heartbroken when it ended and while I never wanted to see him again, for her sake I tried to facilitate their relationship. Based on that experience I would say that you staying in contact with the child is a bad idea. Unless you are willing to step up to plate for the child, even if that means inconveniencing yourself or not being able to go out because you're meant to take the child to a football game etc. If you can be there for the child, even if your ex meets someone else. If you can be there, even if you move on from your ex and meet someone else, that is the only way you can maintain a relationship with the child. If you can't or aren't' willing to do that, then you should just cut contact with the child. Because I can nearly guarantee you, this isn't about you and her. She isn't contacting you with this to get you back. It is what it is. Her son misses you and she wants you to be a part of HIS life for HIS sake. Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 I don't contact her or nothing she'll just txt telling me this and sometimes she says she will always love me and that she misses me. So idk what shes tryna do or say or what she wants. But I just thought it would be better just to leave it. I know her son asks for me. But you know hes gonna grow up and he'll forget about. Then its not gonna matter. But then again it hurts cause im gonna see him grow and forget me. But I gotta do what I gotta do. I just think its better if I leave right now. Link to comment
22n32 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 is the kids father not in his life?? Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 He's in his life. But she always told me her son was always scared to stay with his dad alone or that sometimes said her son didn't like going to his dad or being with him. Link to comment
22n32 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 He's in his life. But she always told me her son was always scared to stay with his dad alone or that sometimes said her son didn't like going to his dad or being with him. huh, thats weird.. wish u all the best.. prob best if u do stay outa his life, just makes it harder in the long run Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Yeah it is weird idk. Maybe something happened. He was always abusive to his mom maybe that's why hes scared or don't like going to his dad or being with him. I know it'll be harder in the long run. But thats what she said to me, wants me to be apart of his life. Then txts me again saying she misses me and will always love me. Idk what shes tryna pull or what she want that's all, just confusing.ha Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 She is yanking your chain to see if you will come running....if she didn't have time for you then, and you couldn't stay -- she is sadly, using her son as ploy because you have walked into the sunset. Leave them both behind. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 If you two care about each other and you think it can work out, then do some casual meetings. You and her alone, first. It's not fair to get the kids' hopes up. Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Yeah i think she is too. Cause when we first broke up(she broke up with me) she told me to leave her alone don't txt don't call nothing she said. And I tried tlking to her or I ask if I could call to tlk but she said no no. So I left it at that. Never tried contacting her or nothing. Deleted my fb. Then she starts txting me asking how im doing things like that. Telling me she misses me or she'll always love me. I never responded till she told me about her son. Cause I miss him love him. So I wanted to know what he was asking his mom. But idk. I just need to get away even tho it'll hurt me. Its just best I think. He'll forget me eventually ha Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 She is using him....you didn't "fight" for her --not that you should of. So, when you went silent, she started contacting you - and you don't respond. Until she pulls the son card. Don't do anything....you will just be hurt again....He will remember you --- but you don't need to "be" in his life. He has a dad. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 If you decide to do something, you need to take it slow, and not see the kid until you are sure things are going to be okay. Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 rosasnyder811 I don't know if I want to wrk things out i mean I care about her a lot, a lot.. but ther were things she did and thought it was ok, but it hurt me. Sometimes its like she would do things to see if I would get mad or jealous. Idk just stupid mind games. Idk didnt really care for that. Were not kids or teenagers. Abd she was always constantly waiting for me to hurt her. I know she had bad relationships before. But I did everything I could to show and let her know I wouldn't hurt her. Idk she kept thinking I would. I was only tryn to move forward with her. I didnt want her to be stuck and let things bring her down. Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Mhowe I did fight for all these years ive known her I fought to be with her thru everything she was going thru. Even tho it hurt me I was there. I was ther before she had her son. Stayed by her thru her whole pregnancy. Even tho I wasnt with her at the time. I stayed around cause I cared for her a lot. But when we got together and she started pulling these things on me or telling me things I didnt know she was doing. Its like when we got together more things about her started coming out of closet. Idk but I fought for her enough. justice realize I was being f'd over. But she left me. I know he has a dad. I wasnt tryn to be his father or tryn to be a replacement. Just cared for him like I cared for his mom. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I wasn't talking about you being there for her in the relationship. She left you....and you said fine (which I agree with) and left. She wanted you to play games....to beg for her back, etc. She texts -- you don't reply...etc. So she pulls the "my son misses you" --- and you reply. She found the hook. Link to comment
neil213 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Yeah true. Its just messed up how she could do that.. but like I said its just better for me to get away. Thanks for your feedback. You sound just like my friend. She was sayin the samething lol Link to comment
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