Ex contacted me after 2 years of no contact!? Need advice.

[GainingStrength]

Long story short: Fell in love with a girl 4 years ago. We dated for 2. Became VERY serious. Talked about having a family, etc.

 

2 years ago she broke up with me. I initiated no-contact. 10 months later she emailed me to say that she was leaving town. She said that she would stay out of my life permanently and wished me the best. I did not respond. Here are the details on that event:

 

link removed

 

Another 14 months has now gone by... It's now been 2 years since we've broken up. I get an email from her saying that she is back and town and would like to reconnect if I'm interested.

 

Question for the ladies or gents: why is she doing this? I'm especially confused as she said in her last email that she was going to remove herself from my life.

 

I think the no contact from me is driving her nuts! Silence is deafening.

 

It's tough; I always thought this girl was the one. And her popping back in-and-out of my life with these yearly emails really reopens the wounds. At the same time I wonder if there is a chance for us again. Reality tells me that there isn't I guess.

 

I'm just wondering why she's doing this.

[sayer7]

Well she could be testing the waters.

 

Sometimes people say things they don't mean hoping to say what the other person wants to hear just to make them happy.... if that makes any sense.

 

She might've said she wouldn't contact you ever again 2 years ago because she thought that's what you wanted to hear or what was needed to make things 'right', or reflective of how she thought you felt about her--that you didn't want her in your life anymore after being hurt by her. But now, by saying "hello are you interested?" she might just be testing the waters to see where she stands with you now after so much time has passed. Time changes people and she might be wondering how time has changed your feelings about her.

 

Ultimately the choice to reply back is yours of course. But that's just my take on why she's doing this....

[tea]

I think she's testing how far she can go too. You should probably find out what happened over the last two years before you decide if you want to connect or not. Did she just realize that you're still on her mind so she's contacting you, or is it because she just finished another relationship and decided you're a better choice compared to the last?

[arwen]

I contacted an ex that I broke all contact with after I broke up with another guy. It was absolutely not my goal to get back together. I was just puzzled by the last bf, and hoped maybe a conversation with the old ex would clarify some things for me. About me in a relationship. Another part of me wanted to see someone that really used to love me in the past, as I felt so completely rejected in the last relationship.

 

Read:

 

link removed

 

to get the full picture, I broke up with this ex, but after he hurt me really bad in the ego-departement.

 

I was a fool contacting the ex. I found out the complete truth about the last part of the relationship, and I was even more hurt.

 

So I have no real comments for you. It really depends on the reasons you guys broke up. After two years it could be she is finally capable of just being friends. Or very curious about how you are...

 

good luck and don't let your head go crazy figuring her out. You want to see her?

 

Ilse

[Michael2]

I suggest you continue with the closure aspect.

 

Be careful and tread carefully.