What is the #1 reason why men cheat?

[sexygrl19]

I just want to know what is the number one reason why men cheat on their girlfriends or wives?And is there anything that we as women can do so that this horrible thing doesn't happen to us?It's just that I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and I often worry if he would ever do anything like that to me.I don't think he would but I can't help to think about it.Any replies would be greatly appreciated!Thanks!

[sisterlynch]

There isn't ever any guarantee. You can't be good enough, nice enough, sexy enough. You just have to live everyday in the present and forget about tomorrow and yesterday.

 

I know it sounds like hogwash, but the more you assume that he will the more likely he is to cheat.

[Hells_Fairy]

Well, there are a million reasons, but only one answer.. the only person they care about is themselves. That doesn't apply to just men, women can be exactly the same way.

 

It's sad, but true.

 

What you can do though... notice the "red flags" and take action. Don't sit around and wait for it to happen. If you suspect that something is wrong or going on, go with your instincts. They are something that you can never doubt.

 

Ask yourself, would I do this to them? Would I act like this or talk like this to them? What would I do if I were in his/her shoes?

 

Makes ya think doesn't it?

 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Always keep that in mind. God Bless.

[JonnyG]

This thread seems to come up often. It seems although its expected that the majority of men cheat . Well I havent yet, and hope I never will.

 

I think men who cheat are more likely to have done it due to sexual desires, where as women cheat due to not feeling emotionally secure in their relationship.

[drahcir]

The reason why someone cheats is the same reason why a person wants something better than what they already have: Its that they just haven't learnt to appreciate what they have got right now. Some people have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship will be about, and when they find thier partners can't fulfill those expectations they move on to someone else. Its important to find someone who understands that a relationship is a pernament partnership during good times and bad, not an opportunity to gratify thier own emotional or sexual desires. Also, the old saying "familiarity breads contempt" is true. Some people just take thier loved ones for granted. All they can do is learn to be thankful each and every day for the person they have in thier life.

 

Just make sure that your boyfriend has realistic expectations about the relationship. Also, ask him about his needs and how you can fulfill them, and ask him to fulfill yours too.

 

Also, many people cheat because they have the opportunity to cheat. Opportunity exists he has a lot of unsupervised time in which he works with or spends time with girls he can cheat on. To prevent cheating, you need to find a way to remove the opportunity, so even if he desires to cheat he won't have the opportunity to do so.

 

Some people cheat because they think they can get away with it. Some way or another, each person in the relationship needs to be aware that they won't get away with it, because even if they escape formal punishment, their conscience will eat away at them until they are destroyed. Antcipating the consequences of cheating will be a strong deterrent.

 

Cheating is never inevitable. It can and must be prevented. I really hope this helps!!!!!!!

[hurtbylove]

Well, you won't find the archetype you are looking for here..

 

The people on enotalone are generally looking for support, or at least care about other people on some level.

 

The "playas" and "heartbreakers" would never post here. They don't have the need to. Some people are better at controlling their emotions than others. Maybe they are just never involved to begin with..

 

It's not just men that do this..

 

It is very true that people are selfish (not really a bad thing) and looking out for themselves.

[Mr. Cactus]

To my way of thinking a man cheats when he doesn't love his partner as much as he says (or thinks) he does. If I loved someone then quite frankly I would find it all but impossible to cheat on them. I should add I've never cheated on anyone and hopefully this will remain so all my days. I just think anyone (male or female) who cheats is severely under valuing their partner and relationship (or should otherwise take steps to cease the existing relationship first). I would be absolutely devastated were I to be cheated upon. It's the one thing above anything else that scares me away from having relationships. I fear it above everything else.

 

I sort of wish this topic hadn't been aimed at the misdemeanours of men. It applies to both sexes. As a male I am no less accepting of this behaviour than the original poster.

[DBL]

From what I noticed of men cheating is because they get bored with what they have. In the beginning of the relationship everyone is trying to impress their boyfriend or girlfriend. You are always excited to spend time together and do things together. But as time goes on, he gets bored, sees women who dress up like you used to, fiirt like you used to, and has the sparks like you both used to. It is just an excitement.

 

I never cheated on my wife, but I will not say it never came to mind, especially now that I am separated. I can say my main reason for the thought was she was not the girl that I fell in love with. Over time she was not as affectionate, she always complained and hounded me, and started to become sexually dissatisfying since we had to follow her religious ways. Just something starts missing from the relationship and you find that extra something in somebody else.

 

On another relationship I thought about cheating...sex was great, but she quickly stopped giving effectionately, so I knew things were coming to an end. So my instincts are to find someone that will understand what I am dealing with and provide me with what she is not willing to provide me with.

 

Anyway...thats my opinion.

DBL

[das420]

Men Cheat because they do become complacent and biologicaly speaking, the goal of the male is to fertilize as many eggs as possible. However most people who cheat usually have emotional, sexual, or mental issues that must be dealt with.

 

As a man who has been cheated on, I will say infidelity is a two way street. Many man cheat for sexual reasons (i.e tired of masturbating because gf/wife won't have sex as much as the man needs). Women seem to for emotional reasons. That is what happened to me. I got caught up in work and school, became neglectful and distant, and I paid the price.

[mahlina]

Well, my ex cheated because I didn't let him have my virginity. He was in college at that time, while I was still in high school. I think that he mainly did it because he was into the party scene. It hurt like hell, but I ran into guys who were far worse as players. We stuck it through for another 4 years. I didn't find out until about 6 months into the relationship. When I did, he still denied it. We periodically broke off on and off the last year when we were together. He was nothing but whipped. I think it's because he learned his lesson, but by the end of it all, I lost all of my physical attraction for him. It was gone. Nada. Nothing left.

 

My aunt lectured to me, and said that as human beings, we're meant to procreate, both men and women, thereforeeee cheating is hard for us to prevent. She says that in the heat of the moment, it's hard to hold back on these things, and, if a man were to ever cheat, then he should never let his wife know. In other words, she tolerates being cheated on, in a sense that she thinks that it's a normal animal behavior, but she won't tolerate with it, if it happens consistantly. Anyway, she has her own opinions, but in my own opinion, it's really hard to trust a person who cheated on you once before. Those feelings just aren't repairable. You can't turn back the hands of time and fall in love with the person ike you initially did... Once a cheater cheats, that bond isn't the same anymore. At least after all of those years, I did gain a friend in him. He's still always there for support, and treats me well, sort of like a best friend. But I have to cut him loose out of my life. Although he always tried to be honest with me afterwards, I just can't trust him. Those feelings for him are just gone...

 

About your boyfriend, enjoy the relationship while it lasts. If it does happen, then realize that pain is a part of life. You will never know what to expect. There isn't much that you can do to prevent your partner from cheating. At least the pain that comes along with it, teaches you lessons, and allows you to become stronger as a grown adult. If things work out with your boyfriend, then great. But if they don't, then realize that you'll find another person like him or even better, in the future. My ex could have been my soul-mate, but I know deep down in my heart, he isn't. I know that I will find better. So, that's my side of the story. Hope this helps.

[Michael36]

I just want to know what is the number one reason why men cheat on their girlfriends or wives?

Because they can!

 

Sorry, but if you think a guy actually thinks to himself before cheating, "I'm going to cheat on my girlfriend for such-and-such reason," you're mistaken. The truth is, he's not thinking about his girlfriend at all when he cheats; he's thinking merely about himself.

 

And is there anything that we as women can do so that this horrible thing doesn't happen to us?

Like attracts like, so stop doing to "nice guys" what jerks do to you. But as any nice guy already knows, that's never going to happen.

[Outlaw2747]

You know I have noticed that really weird trend. After a girl has been broken in half by some self-centered jerk, as soon as they get to the nice guy, he gets the same treatment. The next guy they go after is almost NEVER a jerk, but an nice guy who doesn't deserve to be hurt. Good point. If you are hurt, leave ALL guys alone until after you have recollected yourself please.

[OceanEyes]

Because they can!

 

Sorry, but if you think a guy actually thinks to himself before cheating, "I'm going to cheat on my girlfriend for such-and-such reason," you're mistaken. The truth is, he's not thinking about his girlfriend at all when he cheats; he's thinking merely about himself.

 

This may be true, but can go either way; women are just as capable of cheating on a man. I've seen more women cheat than men to be perfectly honest, so let's try not to misunderstand that men are the only ones capable of cheating. Women also cheat "because they can".

[Michael36]

This may be true, but can go either way; women are just as capable of cheating on a man. I've seen more women cheat than men to be perfectly honest, so let's try not to misunderstand that men are the only ones capable of cheating. Women also cheat "because they can".

Of course they do. Why do you think I said "like attracts like"?

[OceanEyes]

The reason I said what I said, is because most of these topics are about why men cheat, and how it's usually the men who are first to stray from relationships. Most of the men I've known have been pretty up-front about their ways in the beginning of relationships; or at the very least, obviously not the 100% monogamous type. I guess I just think that it's unfair to generalize (not that you or anyone else is either). I've just known more female cheaters than male in my day (but usually for different reasons).

[moleculo]

It's all a matter of respect I guess. I mean, in this country we've onyl recently really made efforts towards teaching men to respect women. A lot of my friends are out for more than just one woman, but they at least are very upfront about not wanting to commit to one relationship. A lot of men get into relationships just to "get some," since they don't think they'll have a chance with a woman any other way. Then kind of find themselves trapped, so its there way of asserting dominance and an opt out clause ive found.

 

I'm with Outlaw, though. It's fascinating how quickly the tables turn. Even the sweetest girl will be manipulative once they're with a guy who doesn't treat them badly. The corruption of power is incredible.

 

"The corruption of power is incredible." Jeez, can I get any more melodramatic than that?

[Sooz]

I think when your "other half" cheats on you it has nothing to do with you, it has to do only with them, I mean, they don't cheat because you're not sexy or good enough, they cheat because they have a problem, either they have self-esteem issues so they have to reassure themselves every now and then, or are inconsiderate, inmmature or selfish.