What should I do?

[xXFaTeDtEaRs5Xx]

Ok im 14 and i really wanna have a baby. I have for about 2 years now and im about to do anything to have one. I have a guy that would be willing to be the father. And if my parents thought it was an accident they would let me keep the baby. I planned on dropping out of school when i was 16 anyways...But im still not positve its a good idea...

( please dont tell me its gonna be hard cause i kno that ive been babysitting for my neighbors for about 3 months now and the kid sleeps over at my house everynight and i have her most of the time during the day...i kno its hard but i love having the baby around.) can anyone HELP????

[lagsalot]

How are you going to pay for this baby?

What about $50-100k needed for college down the road?

 

How do you think you can raise a baby if you can't even take care of yourself? You are still living with your parents right? Isn't it quite selfish to have a baby and expect your parents to foot the bill?

 

If you want a pet, get a dog.. don't have a baby so you will have some company/someone to love you. Its not fair to your parents or the child.

[xXFaTeDtEaRs5Xx]

Actually i would be able to pay for the baby....I make about 40 bucks a day and my father is rich.And about college its call scholarship or student loan.And of course im still living with my parents im 14!and yes i do think i can take care of a baby and i am capable of taking care of myself thank you.And no i dont want a animal i want a baby.

[hockeyboy]

you have your whole life to have children. dont you think you will love them with all your heart? if so, dont you want to be able to provide for them. dropping out of school and raising a kid, you will not be able to give your child what it needs. no way, not even close. who are you gonna sucker into paying for it, mom and dad? thats being selfish. like i said, you have a lot of years ahead of you...be patient

[lagsalot]

Not to mention that if the Kid had a choice, I would think he/she would like to have a father, and parents that love each other.

 

$40 a day huh? You think this is going to pay for day care, diapers, formula and what ever else comes along? And thats while you still live with your parents.

 

What happens when you move out? Then you have to worry about rent along with feeding your child. You honestly think 40 a day is going to cover this?

 

Selfish is the word of the day here. Even if you remove mom/dad from the picture. Its just not in the best interest of the baby. Not in the slightest way.

[hockeyboy]

my father is rich

 

thats sick. you cant even survive on your own, how can you have a kid depend on you. your a dependant! your talking bout your kid going to college, maybe you should think about going to college. ever think of that? what do you want in your life? do you want to sit around with a kid all day and have everyone pay for it. you make 40 a day...are u going to keep making that money when you have a kid? how? nevermind the fact that 40 a day is nothing in the scheme of things.

 

if you have a kid you'd be lucky if you even got to keep it, child services could be knocking on your door.

[hockeyboy]

nobody is yelling...but its very worrysome what your doing and your attitude as well. think rationally. have you really planned this out? if so, i'd like to hear a detailed plan. why is it you think your ready when no other 14 year old is?

[lagsalot]

Also I'm sure it doesn't help that it is a guys point of view.

 

I'm surprised that no women have chimed in here to offer advice.

 

Sorry I was so brash, but I honestly don't think you have thought things through. I know women have the desire to have babies built in. But you also need the desire to be a good mom. In that case you have to put your child first and do what is best for them. Born or unborn.

[hockeyboy]

agreed. i have a question, i just checked out your website, how come on there it says your 16?

[MissStacey]

hey...

im 18.. and ive always wanted a baby.. of course we do, its wat we're supposed to do.. but im not having a baby till im married.. and financial stable.. the baby deserves a mum and dad who love each other and love them.. they need to have clothes (which they gow out of real quickly) shoes, nappies, toys, medical , food, formula, somewhere to sleep, it doesnt come cheap.. my best advice is to you, finish school, go into preschool or childcare... be a volunteer at your local childcare centre, play with babies till your hearts content, at the end of the day, you can give them back!! its the purfect thing... sorry but 14 is too young, your still a baby yourself... wait for a good 10 yrs you'll be glad you did..

[tea]

link removed

 

 

That gives a simple calculation of how much a baby cost per month. 500 dollars.

 

 

A study I read a couple of years ago showed the average cost of a new born baby is $444 dollars a month for the first 3 years. This does not include housing or beds, but it does include food.

 

Assume it's 444 dollars a month, you will have to make 14.8 dollars a day to support your baby, I assume you can do that. However, you will also need to hire a babysitter since you will not be taking care of your baby while you're working. Assume you work for 8 hours a day, and have the baby sitter take care of your baby for 10 dollars an hour for 8 hours a day, you will be about 54.8 dollars short raising your baby everyday.

 

While you're having a baby, for at least 2 months you cannot work. During your pregnancy there's also a lot of hospital check ups you will have to go through, and it increases the sick days you will have since pregnant woman often don't feel well enough to work.

 

"According to the Health Insurance Association of America, the average bill for doctor fees and hospital charges runs around $6,400 for a normal delivery and roughly $10,600 for a cesarean section. This does not count prenatal doctor visits or tests. This is why insurance is very important, so make sure to do your best to get covered somehow." I stole that off link removed, I assume you're an independent woman so you won't have your father pay for the cost of your pregnancy. After all, no parent should be forced to pay for their grandchildren, it defeats the whole purpose of having children and let their children reproduce. thereforeeee, in the 9 months that you are pregnant, you should have to make 6400 dollars for giving birth to the baby, while paying extra hospital visit cost and maternity class fees.

 

 

Then, because you will be dropping out of school at the age of 16, you won't graduate from high school. Based on statistics from

link removed

 

Your annual earning will be about $23400 dollars if you work full time. However, you are a woman, and at the moment women earn 66% of what a man earns. thereforeeee, that comes out to about 15444 annually. If you graduate from college you should be making $52200 a year, assume you'll still be earning 66% of that, you will be getting $34452 if you're an average college grad. That means, you will be stuck with 44.8% of your annual pay if you decide to quit school now and not go to college.

 

I assume at some point you will have to move out of your house and make a life on your own with your child. With 15444, you get 1287 a month, renting a place cost 1200 a month where I live, if you're renting a 1 bedroom studio, feeding yourself and your child is about 300 a month where I live, if you calculate it carefully and not let any one of your meals exceed 1.6 dollars. Paying for utilities is about 60 a month for electricity, 35 for water, 17 for phone bill, 50 for internet service, 30 for television, and 18 for insurance... then you will still have to pay for automobile insurance that's about 400 a year if you are over the age of 25 and never had an accident, 1600 a year if you are under the age of 25 and not a dependent of someone... then you still need to pay for health insurance since children get sick often, my school provides health insurance for 158 every 3 months... that's probably one of the cheapest you can find.

 

...so, how must more do you have to earn to support your child and yourself later on? I haven't added the cost of vacation yet. My father's rich too, if you grew up how I grew up, never going out on a vacation is hard to imagine. Are you willing to give that up, give your surburban housing up, and go live in a trailer park so you can pay for everything?

 

If you're having a baby, you shouldn't expect your parents to pay for any of what's mentioned above. Having a baby means you will be someone else's sole guardian and you will be the person responsible for raising that baby and providing for that baby. If you are not willing to take that responsibility of paying for the baby at the cost of ruining your life, and never allowed to complain, then it is your choice and I don't think any of us should stop you.

 

P.S. You know, if you're dad's really rich like you suggested, college is not about scholarship and student loan. You might be able to get a couple hundred dollars of scholarship, but you can't get student loan. I tried applying for student loan and federal grant, no one will give me a cent, so my dad's paying the full cost of both my brother and my college.

[xbox_modding_freak]

That is way tooyoung i know ure not thinking right

 

 

1) How u gunna pay for this

2) What kinda education u gunna have

3) U wannaw waste ure life now?

4) Hows the baby gunna feel not knowingits father...ever thought of that?

5) Ababy is an experssion of love and having it on your own would be meeningless

6) Your family really gunna support you if you go ahead and do it

7) Alot of adults can't cope..Just because u can take care of ureself it doesntmean someone else

 

 

PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU DO THIS

 

 

-XmF

[shygirl23]

I'm not going to rant to you about all of the financial and moral reasons why you should not have a baby (looks like they've been pretty well covered). I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else though, I'm just going to skip that part.

 

This may have already been said and I just missed it but...

 

If you are only 14 (or are you 16? Your website is a bit misleading), then are you even physically capable of having a child? Do you realize how dangerous that could be for both you and the baby?

 

On your website it says that you smoke and drink (am I correct in this?). If that's the case, then there's another reason why you absolutely should not have a baby. Do you know what alcohol and tobacco does to a developing fetus? F.A.S. among countless other problems.

 

You said that your parents would let you keep it if they thought that it was an accident. So, if they knew that it wasn't an accident, then they wouldn't? That's what I got from that. So, obviously they wouldn't really support this decision. Yet another reason not to.

 

Little money (what, minimun wage? And where are you working if you're only 14? Most places it isn't legal until your 16.. at least where I live. Plus, it'll be even less money once you're pregnant or taking care of a child and can't work), limited education (even more limited if you drop out now).

 

Who is the guy that you found to be the father? How old is he. Depending on laws where you live, it could be illegal for you to have sex with him, even with your consent. So, you get pregnant and the father winds up in jail? What if that happens? Do you love him? Do you want to bring a child into this world that doesn't have two loving parents?

 

I'm with whoever it was that told you to buy a pet. Or why not just settle with babysitting for a while? You said that you just wanted a baby around. Isn't there already a child around all the time? All day and most nights. There you go.

 

I understand that you want a baby. I know that you think that your capable of handling such a situation, but please think this through.

 

There's no need for you to mess up your life, your parents' lives, the father's life, and a child's life.

 

I want to give my apologies in advance to anyone who may have been offended by anything that I said. I tried not to say anything that I would regret, but just in case...

[cleverme123]

First off babysitting and your own child is a huge difference. Most important you can give it back after your done. No loving a baby is not difficult. I am a mother of 3 4,2, and baby in April. The first father abandon me and the baby, second was my husband who walked out. Third is with a guy that cares for me. I am young with 3 kids. I had the first at 21. Most of my friends went out partying on their birthday, I was changing diapers working 12 hours and staying up all night with a colicky baby. No sleep, no money. Yes you can go to every state orginazation in the world and get assistance but they only help for so long. You will lose your friends and if you drop out of school at 16 you can barely get a job making minimum wage. How will you pay for diapers and formula? Social services? They will make you go back to school it won't be an option and if you drop out of the program they will deny you benefits. You have someone that is willing to be a donor, but what do you plan on telling your child when they ask about their daddy? Yes it happens and I just went through it with my 4 year old.

You may think your ready but your body is not really ready until you are 20 or so. You can look it up on the net if you would like. You will do what you want to do, but believe me, your life will become very difficult you can't put it off on your parents all the time if you decide to go out somewhere. Just think...

[JonnyG]

As every1 has said. I think its a bed idea.

 

1) its illegal for u to be having sex at our age.(im guessing if your only 14)

2) Your body probably isn't ready for it and could cause a danger to yourself and the baby.

3) Finanically your not well off enough unless u expect every1 to pay for u and your kid all your life?

4) Don't u feel like living a bit before settling down with some guy and raising a family? Your only 14 for crying out loud. I can barely remember that age.

5) Your probably not mature enough and mentally tough enough to go through with it yet. Same applies to the father. If your both 14 you haven't even got qualifications for a job, let alone old enough to get one.

6) At this young age your not going to be doing the baby any favours, it seems a very selfish attitude at the moment considering the circumstances.

 

 

I know baby's are cute and all, but its not a toy. Its very serious and takes a lot of work to bring up a child. I really don't think your ready for it, and its not personal, I don't think any 14 year old is ready for it. And if your 16, it won't chance my mind, its still too young. You want to grow older, get an education, meet a man, fall in love, get married, then think of children.

[polygal]

Mann... I don't think you have any idea about bringing a child into this world. Who ever this person might be( father) is the biggest idiot. I'm just curios if he is of age? Dear, you think that makinf $40.00 a day is going to help you and you child. I don't think so. Just cause your father is rich, doesn't mean that he's going to take care of your baby. I think you just need to concentrate on school. Does your father know that you feel this way.

[lil_unique_me]

hey im 16 and i want a kid. i have done for ages but im not gonna have one. the thing is that i am only 16 and i have my life ahead of me so now im just putting all that energy into my friends and my college work.

but to be honest i really dont think that anything that anyone says to you is really gonna make a difference is it?!

but the thing is that emotionally you are so not ready. yes ok so physically you are and mentally you are determined to have one but emotionally i really dont think you are.

your 14 and in america thats not the legal age for sex is it? so you know if you cant think of anything else think of how the child is gonna feel knowing that the guy who is potentially gonna be the father has wandered off somewhere cos lets face it men and women both know this men are slower at maturing in an emotional way. so hes about 13 or 14 in his emotions anyway. and also think of your parents cos lets face it they dont wanna be stuck witha screaming baby all day do they while your at school till your 16- i bet they have enough to deal with with you dont they?!

Just my opinion

Catie xxx

[ReadyorNot]

IM 24 and since I was like 18 I wanted a baby SOOOOOOOOOOO bad... I would never have tried cause Im scared of what my family would think...

 

A few months after I met my bf (when I was 20) his sister got pregnant.. I was so excited cause I have always wanted a baby...

 

I offered to babysit for her all the time... This was a RUDE AWAKENING!!!!!! I had the baby who I loved with all of my heart when she was 2 weeks old... It was a nightmare.. I even stayed at their house to babysit for an entire weekend when she was like 4 months old... OMG..

 

This little girl is my godchild and she is a ANGEL!!! (only when you dont have her all day)... She is alot better now that she is 3 years old.

 

She deffinitly made me decide that I am NOT ready for kids and that I shouldnt even think of getting pregnant until I know I wont be selfish...

[Cecil de Volange]

honestly, this girl reminds me of my cousin. She wants to be pregnant over the same reason and used our grandmother who is of course wealthy to support her child. I hate to say that this girl is not relly ready to face the reality of the world. She doesn't even know what bills to pay and others. Also 40$ is not enough...hahahahahahaha!!!!!

 

This is a very comical situation for a 14 year old. I'm not mocking her so don't delete this post, but $40 is not enough. Also little 14 year old girl is not even sure how long mommy and daddy can support her. Also even though daddy is rich...how long will the money of daddy will last? Money can ran out you know. Also their might be a time will come when her parent's will stop supporting her. probably she forgot to think about that part.

[spaggle]

all of these people have replied xXFaTeDtEaRs5Xx it would be nice if you thanked them and gave them your feedback

[JonnyG]

all of these people have replied xXFaTeDtEaRs5Xx it would be nice if you thanked them and gave them your feedback

 

To be honest, its sounds like she has already made up her mind. She probably won't be coming back here. Hopefully though she will take our advice and wait.

[playgirl]

you are not old enough to have a child.

that is unreasonable!

neither you or the "father" would make enougb money to support it, and asking other people to do it for you is selfish.

its not fair to the kid!

 

Hope you make the right decision....

[SweetGemini]

oh dear!

[blowfish]

One wonders if you are really sick and need counselling.

 

I fooled around and I'm scared that I my girl will be pregnant so I enquired about the thread of my subject. I myself am not ready to be a father yet..

 

So your parents are rich. Life girl, Life... in life you don't rely on your parents. I'm sure that your daddy would tell you to go get a job because you are now or planning to become a mother. So if I was him iwouldn't pay you a cent myself, you have to realise that you can't have anything your way so... don't even think aout daddy paying you for your stuff... ain't going to happen.

 

I hope this isn't a joke.