Online dating etiquette; not interested after one meetup.

[anon_a_mouse]

How do others feel on dating (from online) etiquette -where if you meet up with someone but are pretty sure you're not interested/ or think there will be another meetup; What do you usually say -that you just want to stay friends/there wasn't a spark/or don't follow up with any communication?

[blueidealist24]

When I was doing online dating, and I wasn't interested, if I didn't hear from the guy again I wouldn't talk to them again. I'd assume they weren't interested or not overly upset about the fact that I wasn't. If I did hear from them again, and they sounded interested, I'd tell them that I didn't want to take things any further since they deserve honesty.. I usually didn't mention being friends since most of the guys lived too far away from me to start up a friendship when we weren't really friends beforehand (I'd be willing to drive a longer distance for a relationship than a friendship).

[Fudgie]

I think if you both went on a date/outing together, it is polite to let him know (either phone/text/email) that you had a good time but that you didn't feel that you were a good fit but you wish him well.

 

If you've been on a date, I think it's rude to ignore or just stop talking and fall off the map but that's me.

[lila...]

Assuming that you've been talking back and forth prior to meeting up, I think it's the polite thing to do to let them know you wish them well but didn't feel a spark/chemistry or whatever. After only one date, I don't think any explanation is needed-most people with common sense would take a hint and back off, but the right thing to do would be to let them know.

[itsallgrand]

I tried to use common sense. If it was obvious neither one of us was all that interested, I didn't do anything.

 

If he followed up on the date, but I wasn't interested, I simply declined the next date.

 

I got annoyed when a date was obviously not one that had potential, yet the guy felt the need to let me know he basically didn't like me. Why.

[EssexMan]

If you want to try the friendzone thing, which generally won't work but doesn't always fail, I wouldn't use the word "friends" - I'd use some very vague phrase like "good luck and do let me know how you get on with your new job/the dog you adopted/translating Lord of the Rings into Lithuanian" just to show them that channels of communication don't have to be totally shut off.

[Gilson]

Before I met my ex, I met another really nice women. She initiated contact online and we decided to go out.

 

We went out four times. The company was great, the interaction was easy and lighthearted and we had a great time. Following the 1st date she initiated texting quickly. After the fourth date she said there was no chemistry. Wished NOT see me again and told me not to contact her again.

 

I thought this unexpected and pretty harsh *

[anon_a_mouse]

I think of it's just been one date and you've been chatting a little bit online -you should really let the other person know if you're not interested -but it's tough to know exactly what to say without coming accross a little harsh as Gilson alluded to. After a few dates though - I feel an explanation should be given for sure.

[Jennifer89]

I have only been in one online date and enjoyed it, but if I hadn't I was planning on telling him I had been talking to some other people as well and wanted to give them a try before I continued to date him. It wouldn't have been a lie for me... But I really liked him so it wasn't an issue.

[Gilson]

I think of it's just been one date and you've been chatting a little bit online -you should really let the other person know if you're not interested -but it's tough to know exactly what to say without coming accross a little harsh as Gilson alluded to. After a few dates though - I feel an explanation should be given for sure.

 

In my case too, she kept telling me she had these strict rules she imposes on herself when it comes to online dating. The first date wasn't supposed to be more than a drink or coffee, etc. but we ended up having a couple drinks at the pub, then an activity which she planned, then dinner at a a nice restaurant. She went on to tell me as the dates progressed that she kept breaking one rule after another. Then she cuts me off!*

 

Meh!

[EssexMan]

In my case too, she kept telling me she had these strict rules she imposes on herself when it comes to online dating. The first date wasn't supposed to be more than a drink or coffee, etc. but we ended up having a couple drinks at the pub, then an activity which she planned, then dinner at a a nice restaurant. She went on to tell me as the dates progressed that she kept breaking one rule after another.

 

I'm not sure someone so apparently obsessed with arbitrary rules of conduct that she can't even follow herself was ever going to be the most relaxing of relationships, anyway.