Now i understand the importance of NC, 1year and still hurts like hell

[Bandit32]

Well, here i am again, feeling kind of down in these christmas days, and people are noticing and worried about me, well quick and short story, 11 year relationship from my 20 to my 32, was a loyal boyfriend, friend, had some great years, then 1 day she dropped the bomb, nothing really bad hapened, the flame just disapeard, i was her first and only boyfriend, and she felt the need to know another things, the phisical atracttion just faded and when i knew this situation i kind of fell appart inside and walked away to give her space, that move in her head meant like i didnt care, and we took different paths, i started the NC since day one, and she broke it every single time, whit a text or a birthday call or simply whit a lame excuse to text.

 

then from what i heard she got some summer affairs and never called or text me again, until... last friday, texted me asking me if she could call me to ask me a thing about a part of her motorcycle, i replied 3hours later, she replied back thanking me and telling me that it was already solved. felt kind of stupid and wished i didnt replied.

 

from all the people she has around her who know and understand the matter why does she come to me... dont get it.

 

then next day a phonecall wishing me a merry christmas we chatted a bit, nice conversation as we always had, then on that night we bumped on each other at a local party, and she was whit a guy, dont know if boyfriend, but its a guy who`s been hanging out a lot whit her, so probably yes! the guy is much better looking than me, tall and a pile of muscles, just like she likes.

 

this mixed whit christmas feelings made me feel sad these days and very down, not smilling a lot, and people around me started to notice that, even at work i get a lack of motivation, and overall feel lonely, i have a lot of friends but miss that best friend that you go everywhere and do everything like i did whit her. Damn i am tired of this sadness and isolation but its not as easy to meet new people like when you have 20, the most of my friends are in couples and this not help any bit, but its what i have.

 

bottom line people are always saying, you are so thin, whats wrong? you look sad and looks like you have no soul, i kind of look normal but people notice anyway... damn i believe 1 year later i would heal up... not the case.

 

i also feel she is in a far better place than me, enjoying life and always on the party mode every single weekend and i stuck on the hole putting my head out once and while.

 

any wise words or advice please share them.

[meawesome]

hey,....11 years relationship is way too long relationship...it will take time to heal....but time will heal everything...shes not with u cuz she might not be the one for u ....maybe god has someone special for u ....she might be waiting for u to find her ....never lose hope....i had a serious breakup too... she was my first gf....n one can make me feel like she did ...but i keep her in very small part of my heart ...and big part of my heart is still free for some other girl...have faith in god... i am just tryna help... and try not be be lonely...if u'll be lonely ur past will haunt u ....so talk to people ...and other girls .. it really helps...maybe on social networking sites..like omegle or kik....well i m just 17 so might not be that much help ...but i tried ...and i hope u feel better....

[Ms Darcy]

That is a long relationship and not easy to get over. I would say you really need to try to rely emotionally on your friends and family. Don't let yourself get isolated or stop having fun.

[Bandit32]

thank you for your kind coments, everything helps a bit, feeling a bit down right now, i hang out whit my friends at night when they go out most of the times but it feels like i am cheating myself drinking and partying... i have a great time dont get me wrong but the next day that the problem remains...

 

and i feel invisible to women, they seem to smell my low and negative energy i carry around lol

[Ms Darcy]

I said rely on your friends and family. That doesn't necessarily mean drink and party son.

[Bandit32]

the problem all my friends do is drink, i barely see them unless is for night out and party, i miss that company for everything and that my current friends cant give me

[Ms Darcy]

Perhaps invite some to your house for a movie night with no drinking or go on a hike.

[Bandit32]

heheeh will try that

 

the fact that tonigh in nye party i will be in the same spot as my ex gives me a will to trow up, hope my night will not be trashed by this, since i believe the guy she is seeing now will also be there

 

rather be in a place were they are not but cant run away for ever