Mix Maxster Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Hey everyone, For a while now I've been just helping others with their situations and helping them to get better by offering advice and help, but it would seem now I am the one who needs some cheering up and needs to vent. Well I've had quite the opportunity to figure myself out and life in general. I was dating my now ex for quite some time until I found out she lost her love for me and was beginning to think about dumping me for another guy she was developing feelings for. That was 7 months ago now, but that's only leading up to where i am now. Anyways like I was saying, I had the opportunity to just go over things in my life and with me in general and I can honestly say that so much has happened up until now. I look at myself in the miror and I sometimes think to myself that it isn't me. I feel the need to change within, but I'm still trapped inside a world that's been planned out for me. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I was fat, skinny or lean, rich, poor or average that if I'm not myself, it wouldn't make a difference. That even if I had the best body, best looks and was one of the most wealthy men in the world that none of it would matter if I didn't have the personality to back it up. I almost feel like even if I had all those things, the guy with bigger balls and a better attitude working at a grocery store would have better luck than me. Now I know that's not a very happy attitude or approach, but I sometimes still think I finish last in everything. Eventhough I'm a great guy it would still seem I'm alone most days. Like this weekend, I haven't really seen anyone (much like every weekend) and I sometimes feel like I'm just a filler. The guy my friends use when no one else is around to do things with or when it helps them out. I'm really just venting here as a means to maybe have hope that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I often wonder about life in general and what it's all about and what doing things mean in the end. I dunno maybe I'm just upset today because I feel the affects of not having someone anymore and I'm once again reminded of that loneliness I once felt. Max Quote Link to comment
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.