Dreams -- Survey

[trishcollins]

You guys do realise that just posting about these things can dredge up the thoughts and actually create more dreams, almost a self fulfilling prophesy!

 

I kid you not. Dreams are weird at the best of times but if you start pulling memories out, you are bound to end up dreaming about them.

 

Break up Veteran,

 

Of course I know dreams are just dreams. But my own experience with breakup dreams has always been hopelessness. The dreams are me spending never ending hours searching for the other person who are always just beyond my reach, or with someone else or not being able to dial their number on the phone. This happened in all three previous seroius breakups over the last 20 years. The dreams were always vivad and always with negative outcomes. The subconsious was trying to tell me "it's over" and "it's hopeless". In some way, it was a good thing -- it helped me move on.

 

This time, ALL the dreams I have had have been positive in nature. We are together, kissing, happy and calm. I think on some level, my subconscious (which certainly picks up a lot of non-verbal communications and stores them for later use) is much better able to predict things than my concisious mind. My concisous mind is busy over-analysing everything and doubting my own feelings all the time.

 

I had another weird dream about him last night. This time, I saved a little boy who had drank some poison. I was hugging the little boy and somehow saved his life (although at one point, my thought was to turn and walk away from him, but something made me turn around and go to him and help him). My "ex" appeared behind me saying he was so moved by what I did, it somehow allowed him to get in "touch" with his own feelings. Apparently he had just been discussing it with a friend of his that day, that he couldn't "connect" with his feelings (words my counsellor has used). He then took me in his arms and starting kissing me passionately. And started talking about the future, and then I woke up.

 

The only expalnation I have for that dream, is in relation to this letter I am sending to him, which my counseller had suggested, saying it would help him get in touch with his feelings. He feels like a failure right now and if I told him how great our relationship had been, rather than focusing on the breakup and my feelings of anger, it really could help him. Right now, he has completely shut himself off from his own feelings.

 

I was skeptical that it would merely make me look weak and clingly, and she said that I can't look at it that way, if I send it from the heart and for the right reasons, it doesn' t matter what he thinks of me for doing it. If I love him and want to help him, then this is a way I can do it, but it has to be an unselfish act, and not to expect anything to change about our situation as a result, but to just hope it helps him to get in touch with his own feelings and start to heal.

 

Perhaps on some subconscious level, I know that sending the letter will help him move forward with his life. Whether it brings him back is anyone's guess, and I suspect it won't. I figure I have already hit rock bottom, so if I have no expectations, then in some way, not hearing from him will give me closure, knowing I have done everything I could to "save" him and help him. The rest is up to him.

[lovely_girl]

hmmm so true. i say send the letter then...

 

usually when i hear from my ex i dream about him. we're usually together and then i wake up and realise it is no more, sometimes i get really down about it, other times i just shrug it off.

 

dreams can be so powerful and seem so real though!

 

sometimes i dream he is with his gf and i am trying to tell him to come back, and he is reluctant. again, i wake up sad!

not a good way to start the day.

 

i bet now that i have spoken about this, i will dream about him tonight! always the way. i am in a better frame of mind now though...

[kiama]

i dreamt last night. my ex and i where at a party. he was acting very friendly with a woman.... but that woman was acting friendly with me.... they didnt seem together. then, my boyfriend confessed. he took off a wig, and suddenly had long hair and looked completely different! it was bazaar. then he told me that hed been lying to me about work and that he really works in a bank - not in the building industry, and he and that woman were seeing eachother all along. really really strange dream.... i had to leave them two together laughing.

 

ive had more too. this is an old post..... not sure whos interested...

[Wandering_Sword]

Mine have been pretty bland. Its just me and her having a conversation. But the voices are so vivid that I swear she was in the same room talking to me when I wake up.

[anggrace]

I dreamt about him the other weak. He was in a hot tub w/ a bunch of blonde girls (with very large ta-tas) and he was bragging about how much gold he had in his pockets. Kinda funny. It makes sense to me.

[kevin_the_one]

one advantage of taking ambien every night i don't remember my dreams

[anggrace]

advantage? Do you normally not like your dreams? I once took meds that made my dreams very vivid. Strange stuff goes on in your head during sleep. Pretty weird sometimes.

[kevin_the_one]

really just glad to have the ambien to get some sleep, the first 8 days after my wife said she was leaving me I only sleept 2 hrs a day and ended up in pych ward for suicide thoughts, the ambien alows my brain some rest from the constant battle in my mind so i don't miss the dreams

[Jess...]

I've had many dreams about my ex...and I'd been wondering if it was just me or if it was a 'normal' thing after a breakup... guess its the latter lol. It's been 3 months, and it seems in every dream we somehow get together - as in, in the same place - (we aren't on speaking terms so this is quite a feat in itself lol) and end up chatting and sorting things out, and getting back together. Basically I think it's just my subconscious telling me what I really want. Like i don't think about it enough during the day, I also have to live through it at night too It's devaststing to wake up, because then I realise it was all just a dream...You know what they say "dreams can come true"...hopefully for some of us they will...